Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: TSA – Transportation Security Administration – 1/5 Stars

TSA – Transportation Security Administration
Police Departments
5767 W Century Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90045

I came in from Mexico City on Sunday 3/1/15 via Gate 6 at LAX and TSA thought I was a mule. I was put into an additional screening line after some guy asked me what I did for work, and then where I was born. I understand to say that I was pissed off is not a legitimate complaint. I stood in a line with three people and I let the TSA guy know that it’s ridiculous that my passport is basically littered with stamps from several countries and a UK visa; and never have I had to go through an additional screening before.

The guy usurped a power position and said now I’m going to listen to him. He decidely used my bad attitude to lecture me about not knowing me, and ask me question after question about my shady trip to a drug-laden country like Mexico. After looking through my dirty clothes, laptop, pockets, notebook and not finding anything in my bag, he then decided to do a thorough patdown in another room next to the bags. I have flown to over ten different countries and never had a patdown to the extent that I was taken to a private room, told to hold my arms far upward and out against a white wall littered with fingerprints from people that had to do the same thing, told to spread my legs wide enough that they were at 45 degree angles and have the perimeter of my anal wall cuffed with gloved hands. I am unsure if instead of desperately trying to find any drugs but retribution for a bad attitude means they have agency to poke my anus in a prone position.

He then had me take off my shoes, he looked between the credit cards in my wallet, searched my jacket and came up with nothing. Nobody else but me had to be taken to that other room.

What bothers me most is that TSA wrote back about my complaint and basically stated thank you for giving us something to add to our TSA watchlist file of you and that we otherwise do not care. Perhaps this excessive and ‘Gestapo’-like level of treatment is admirable, appropriate and desirable to heavily funded security agencies, but it’s probably going to one day undo itself since nobody is going to want to come here anymore or come back here. It’s a really fucking tempting thought.

Yes I got anal probed at TSA and everyone is either like ‘I hope he was cute’ or (re: Winston K) well I bet they didn’t stick their fingers THAT high. Seriously, I am then so grateful for decency and that my big Mexican drug baggie was high enough to be tucked behind some rectal curves. Asswipes.

Useful:Funny:Cool: 3