Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: AHF Wellness Center – 4/5 Stars

AHF Wellness Center – Western
Laboratory Testing, Walk-in Clinics
1811 N Western Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Eat, pray, fuck. I’m a consistent fucker. I’ve fucked myself into LTRs. I’ve had maybe three or five or ten overreactions that led to me coming here. It’s either really obnoxious or responsible.

This place is consistently good. Consistently good means that in the experiences I’ve had here, all of them have gotten the job done (I might have had maybe 3 or 4 std tests) and for free. The people who work here range from really good to masochistic and aloof. Some nurse like jabbed me with a needle so deep and in a weird spot in my arm that it left a bruise. Another nurse with multi-colored hair grunted at me in sign-language, pointing to the pee cup and rectal swab and pointing to the tiny bathroom across the hall. “Where do I put these?” Pointing to a coral-colored plastic tub and back to the bathroom and back to the coral-colored plastic tub. A guy once asked me about my sexual past in a monotone, clinical voice and once he left the room, he got really enthusiastic and eccentric with his coworkers talking about going laser tagging.

Oh yeah, the workers behind the glass windows often talk shit to each other – sometimes about how they hope nobody else comes in. I am not sure why they think the closed glass windows are sound-proof but it’s pretty funny because they definitely don’t hold back their chagrin about working at the slutty men’s free clinic.

Oh and also, they are almost reticent about taking donations, so I assume they’re quite well-funded. The last time I was there, the front desk person was like flustered after this guy who wanted to give a donation asked about it. Mind you, this conversation is behind the magical sound-proof closed glass window that isn’t. She sounded almost frustrated, said that she can’t take the donations and the guy who accepts donations wasn’t there at the moment, and that she doesn’t know when he’ll be back. “So you won’t want to wait” but you can go to w w w dot something something something dot org and donate there … if you want.

It is located in the building on the left hand side. Go upstairs to Floor 4 and go to the end of the hallway at the farthest door. Give your ID to the front person for a second. Sign in your name. Fill out the paperwork. If you have symptoms and want to see a doctor to get meds, go earlier because there are less (or no) spots for the doctor. If you’re just going for testing, there is usually availability until about an hour before it closes. Wait time is usually about 15-40 minutes.

Useful: 15  Funny: 18  Cool: 10