Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Gold’s Gym Glendale – 3/5 Stars

Gold’s Gym
Gyms, Trainers
3211-A Galleria Way
Glendale, CA 91210

I’m a fan of the dead mall phenomenon. And places, like Gold’s Gym, that wouldn’t normally be in malls are now moving in and repurposing them. Dead malls are malls that were once thriving in the 80s and 90s and are now empty with abandoned storefronts. I regularly watch this guy, Dan Bell, on YouTube who documents many of the American dead malls on his channel and they’re tragically great to fall asleep to.

One thing I’ve noticed about these dead malls is that Gold’s Gym in particular is converting many of these dead mall vacant storefronts into large gyms. I’m not sure if Glendale Galleria has ever been ‘dead’, but it’s certainly been dead to me! I’ve lived in LA since 2011 and have never had even known there was an ‘inside’ portion of the Glendale Galleria until this week. It’s very old-fashioned looking. It’s very tan on the inside and car-centric. Meaning, you have to go through a parking lot to get in. There’s ONE clogged elevator from the street level door that leads to the parking lot. And absolutely no bicycle parking on street level. I parked my bicycle against a signpost underneath an overpass bridge. But at least it’s next to the elevator.

This Gold’s Gym is as busy and large as Gold’s Gym Downtown LA. To me, it’s really no different in structure and it’s as crowded as Gold’s Gym Downtown LA. I’m actually surprised at all the negative reviews. The machines are new and everything was up and running when I visited this week. There seemed to be ‘enough’ available machines to use when I visited at 5 pm on a weekday. The major problem with this gym is its layout. They wanted to be creative in essentially an uncreative space and break the grid pattern of gym equipment up. They added a circle of machines in the middle of the grid for those who are on a time crunch to move in order when the light turns from red to green or something. Problem is, nobody, including me, has time to figure how to use this system out when the machines we want to use are only located in this circle. It’s really easy to bump into someone navigating this circle to get to another machine since there is no clockwise or counterclockwise direction to begin with. And I bumped into quite a few people getting out of the circle and back into the grid. It has quite a large steam room and sauna! It’s not cruisy unlike the Gold’s Gyms in Downtown and Hollywood! They’re really big and kind of located in a hidden part of the dressing room, just waiting for all the gays in Glendale to come out of the woodwork.

Another problem, although this is more of a cultural one than about the gym, is that there is a hydro-massage chair area, which is dead center in the middle of the gym and freaky to look at. There is an entranceway into a dim room with humans in these large black leather recliners staring at small bright televisions in front of large bright flat-screen televisions that are blasting advertisements. It reminds me of two things: the meme of a 24 Hour Fitness gym entrance in Florida with two massive escalators in-between a narrow ten-step stairwell to get into the gym. And two: the dystopian scene in Wall-E with fat humans who survive the pollution apocalypse and float in space in automated hovercrafts, completely oblivious, watching televisions on a recliner. It’s a sad reflection of our culture. But I do like that they have a ‘kids area’ for parents. And that there is now a Gold’s Gym in-between Downtown LA and Pasadena.

Useful:Funny:Cool: 2