Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Imperial Spa – 3/5 Stars

Imperial Spa
$$ Day Spas, Massage, Saunas
1875 Geary Blvd
San Francisco, CA 94115

I know now why most of the people who give this place rave reviews seem to be women. The men’s and women’s massage/acupuncture/steam/spa rooms are segregated but the men’s room doesn’t have the relaxing hot stone room, which is a huge bummer, in Korean. It also seems to have way less amenities in general. If you’re a man, you won’t get to lay on hot rocks nor get to gain equilibrium of your body’s energy or whatever wishful pseudoscience the hot stones are supposed to do. The men’s section has six plastic chairs for that instead.

I came into San Francisco after a long bus ride and felt gross. I checked Groupon out and I saw that this place had a Groupon deal going for sixteen bucks. I thought, a hot shower and relaxing steam room, why not?

After giving the woman in front the Groupon and then entering their really nice and spacious locker room and vanity room, the first thought I had of the spa, steam, and sauna rooms was a big fat underwhelming sigh. The entire steam and sauna area is about the same size of the locker room! The room is a 500 square foot room that is as tall as it is high. Why did you make such a grand locker room for such a tiny space?!

The room contained a tiny cold water pool, a tiny sauna, a tiny steam room that wasn’t very hot, and a decent-sized sauna that was incredibly hot. The steam room and sauna could comfortably seat six smaller framed men and a few more for standing room. There were five or six showers. One was kind of broken, two were out of shampoo, and one had a plastic chair with a bunch of towels hanging on top of it. At least one of those showers worked fine. There were also three or four sitting showers with buckets filled with shaving cream water and toothpaste.

I am glad I found that Groupon a few minutes before I entered because I now feel slightly jipped instead of incredibly jipped. I spent less money on two-story Korean spas with six rooms in Los Angeles. At least I got to shave, brush my teeth and sit in some hot bubbly water for a couple of hours before feeling refreshed and leaving.

Useful: 6  Funny: 6  Cool: 2