Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: MetroMD Institute of Regenerative Medicine – 2/5 Stars

MetroMD Institute of Regenerative Medicine
Cosmetic Surgeons, IV Hydration, Nutritionists
11650 Riverside Dr
Studio City, CA 91602

I am positive that hundreds of these five star reviews were written by robots or aliens from ‘goldilocks’ planets high on space gas or something. These reviews make sugar taste bitter. And to be fair, the one star reviews sound like they were written by crazy people who are one step away from jumping from a tall building because a wrinkle got slightly worse after treatment.

I got the non-invasive PRP (platlet-rich plasma) hair injection here that stimulates hair growth. They basically take two vials of my blood, spun it in a machine to separate the platlet-rich plasma from the blood, to avoid blasting my hairline with ‘harmful metals’ that make the blood red and then inject the golden platlet-rich plasma into your scalp to stimulate hair growth.

I came into this place at 8am and was greeted by an empty office with a confused nurse. And then a confused IT guy. Both seemed like it was their first day of work. Neither were able to log onto the computer because their regular girl was apparently on vacation or something. I waited for fifteen minutes then asked the guy what’s up. He was flustered, and said he couldn’t log on to get my information. So he looked through the draws and found a piece of paper for me to sign instead.

_____x_____ assumes the risks of getting blood injected into his head.

While waiting some gym guy heavy on steroids quickly walked through the waiting room and poked his head into the doctor’s door. He then was pacing back and forth, bouncing up and down the walls and the nurse took him before me because he was a regular or something. I sat there and waited for another ten minutes while she finished up with him. She then took me in about twenty minutes after my appointment, put numbing cream over my hairline and gave me a very tiny headband with velcro that couldn’t sustain the circumference of my head and snapped in half. So she gave me one of her elastic hair ties instead.

She then had me sit on a chair and took my blood. Her needle was either dull or the tube was damaged and couldn’t take the blood but she quickly assumed I had low blood pressure so she jabbed the needle deeper into my arm. Let me tell you – jabbing that needle deep into my arm was one of the most painful shots I’ve ever got! She looked at me and assumed that I had a very low tolerance to pain and couldn’t take needles or something. Seriously, the injections that came after that into the scalp were nothing compared to Nurse Ratched’s needle. After figuring out that the actual needle was bad, she was like whoops – let’s try the other arm! I think this one was learning on the job or something. So finally she got vials, spun them and brought back the separated blood, one was light golden and the other was PINK, so the blood didn’t get completely separated. She quickly went behind me so I wouldn’t see that bit but I did.

She used something extremely similar to a tattoo gun and then a bunch of needle pricks containing the PRP and then it was done. Thanks to that incredibly painful failure of drawing my blood, the injections along the hairline were painless in comparison. She then gave me an up-sell speech about all of these nutrients that I need and how they conveniently sell them. I was told that I cannot sweat for 48 hours: by going to the gym, or washing my hair after treatment. She then of course said that more than one PRP treatment is needed (maybe if you’re completely bald – and even then it’s disputed online). I was like yeah whatever, and left.

As for the results, I am seeing peppered dots along my hairline which is pretty cool but if I get any kind of cosmetic treatment, I am going elsewhere. It is a pretty shoddily run place with inexperienced staff.

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