Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Philz Coffee – 3/5 Stars

Philz Coffee
$ Coffee & Tea, Breakfast & Brunch
801 S Hope St
Los Angeles, CA 90017

I remember being in an SAT prep class in high school and having picked my nose that it began to bleed uncontrollably fast all over the desk. I ran out of the classroom with the bloody nose to the hallway bathroom. Nobody said anything as I ran out covering my nose, as it was an advanced class so everyone was inhibited and good.

When I got back, there were drops of blood all over the top of my desk that nobody was looking at. Everyone was too into their own world, trying to read faster. That moment kind of dawned on me when I realized I was sitting very isolated on a communal table at Philz Coffee with a large hot black coffee that spilled down my arm and onto the desk.

I quickly pressed 3-0-3-3 to open the bathroom door and pour water over my burning arm. When I got back, everyone that is sitting a foot or two away from me is still on their laptops and ignoring the big brown puddle of coffee.

Everything about how this place runs is robotic, too. It makes me wonder whether the coffee shop makes the people this way or the other way around. Philz, not just at this location, is made like a conveyor belt for a caffeinated human. The clockwise line to the baristas, to the cashier to the big power-stripped communal table to the exit is so over-practical in a way that I feel like some places are only made for walking, others for waiting and others for sitting.

Order, – here –
Wait, – here –
Work, – here –
Socialize, – here –
Exit, – here –

The coffee however is good. Everything is pour-over, so medium coffees type 1 2 3 4 5 & 6 have such-and-such notes. I got the barista who just loved making coffee and made me her own special blend. It tasted fine. I grimaced when I tasted the dry chocolate essence of the Mocha Tesora. And I love how the big inedibly fresh mint leaves take up half the drink, not.

Useful:Funny:Cool: 4