Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Portfolio Coffeehouse – 3/5 Stars

Portfolio Coffeehouse
$ Coffee & Tea, Cafes
2300 E 4th St
Long Beach, CA 90814

ROTD 5/12/2008 (Review Of The Day for Orange County)

I have been rubbed the wrong way by Portfolio. A fifty cent charge for “no ice”? That’s so ridiculous, that I am kind of confused as to how they could even justify their stance without a finding bunch of holes to the idea of charging more for something less.

Man, I am so rubbed the wrong way. My knee-jerk reaction is to confront someone while I am peeved, but I will wait until I calm down.

ICE, and how we Americans love ice, melts in drinks fast that are meant to be drank slowly like teas. I never ever could drink iced coffees or teas because they would turn watery at the bottom. It’s gross.

ICE, and lots of it, is a phenomenon only here. The few places in Europe that do serve ice, serve three cubes in the drink at most.

The ICE acts as a buffer to giving away too much drink? If the extra few ounces of drink is what is worth fifty cents more, then give a few ounces less of the drink. It’s ridiculous to charge 25% more for something that could easily be tossed away or spilled on the counter.

Man, this is so ridiculous that I am ashamed at myself for ranting about an extra fitty cents but it’s the principle of having a voice against something that I believe is utterly stupid.

The casual yet edgy atmosphere of Portfolio’s is a four star coffee shop with an aforementioned one star flaw.

This lively coffeeshop is known for their long successful interaction with the local artist community. Portfolio’s has a distinct vibe as being community-oriented; there is no plausible definition for “hipster” (as my friend said, people who describe hipsters are usually describing themselves) so I won’t go there.

Paintings by community college surrealists and neo-baroque townies line the wall. And their weekly Wednesday open mic night starts at 9 p.m. sharp. You must sign up when the clipboard’s out at 9 p.m. or else the punk rock girl will deny you. They aren’t pulling your leg when they say it’s open mic either. Can I have that with no ice?

Useful: 18  Funny: 18  Cool: 14