Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Tommaso Ristorante Italiano – 3/5 Stars

Tommaso Ristorante Italiano
$$ Italian, Pizza, Seafood
1042 Kearny St
San Francisco, CA 94133

Where to begin…

Back in the mid-2000s, there was a boy who liked a girl named Lauren. Lauren lived in a custom-built house on a hill in Corte Madera in Marin. She wore black asymmetrical dresses, and had black asymmetrical hair. She liked writing passive-aggressive letters on postcards and looking at brightly colored cupcakes that would adorn the windowsills of bakeries. She was the type who did not like to be stereotyped and yet would predictably disagree with this description.

The boy invited the girl to meet his parents who were visiting from out of town. They were finicky about the restaurants they dined at. The parents were anal-retentive and unadventurous but liked Italian food. The boy chose Tommaso’s.

The parents balked. Porn theaters were in the neighborhood, a fake $100 bill was rolling along the asphalt in the wind… They were seated on a small folding table hastily placed in the front of the restaurant. It was busy. The portions were too small for the parents, and the conversation was pat and topical. The best part of the dinner was the sauce.

To sum it up, the boy spent more time trying to impress his parents with the choice of restaurant than accommodating the girl with black hair and black asymmetrical dress, who never spoke to him again.

Tommaso’s was not Macaroni Grill for the parents. And not a good place to reconcile lovers of fake Italian food with lovers of cute windowsill cupcakes.

Good sauce.

Useful:Funny:Cool: 0