Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Tribal Cafe – 3/5 Stars

Tribal Cafe
$ Juice Bars & Smoothies, Delis
1651 W Temple St
Los Angeles, CA 90026

This place is disorganized, and incredibly expansive, expansive, expansive, keeps expanding ideas and making them broader and broader, rather than rich. Let’s talk about working for a high-end fashion atelier that’s trying to turn into a marijuana dispensary and create a menu out of smoking from a crystal-encrusted glass pipe.

They’re taking on so many completely different types of foods that the result looks like a series of very confusing salads. Why not just tear down the kitchen wall, turn into a hippie Hometown Buffet and offer a create-your-own salad bar?! So I think the harshest criticism I could give this place is that it offers too many options on their menu that are pretty half-baked after they’re baked. Their menu is a mess. It’s confusing. I think of what religion must have been like in the 1000s. Their menu consists of these large white confusing sheets of scrolls of proclamations side by side, four or five of them. Some of them have vegan sprinkled on to them. Some have wraps and burgers, then a tidal wave takes us from the Mediterranean to Vietnam to the Philippines. There are so many food options, their employees don’t even know them by name, but by letter and number combinations. I think the Bahn Mi Bowl was ‘B2’.

By the way, they got the number wrong for the ‘B2’ and the results looked -very- creative for a Bahn Mi Bowl. At first, went with it. I tried to make it taste like a Bahn Mi in my mind, but now I realized I just got the wrong food order after looking at the menu online. It was a Curry Spice Veggie & Quinoa Bowl but strangely with freshly cut apples on top. Try imagining me imagining that be a Bahn Mi. It was an awkward combination of fresh warm kale, quinoa, a medley of vegetables, and cold apples on top. It didn’t have the peanuts and pickled carrots I was hoping for. But I am glad this kale salad wasn’t tossed because I was enjoying all of these different types of vegetables separately. The ingredients were very fresh and pristine!

Hence, I conclude that, in totality, the food is very hit or miss. But because the ingredients are incredibly fresh, they’ve gotten a provisional 3.5/5 Stars. I’ll be back to try something a bit more safe and popular in the future.

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