One-Star Reviews

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Casbah Cafe – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Casbah Cafe – 1/5 Stars

Casbah Café – CLOSED
$$ Coffee & Tea
3900 W Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90029

I really detest this place. The decor is annoying and the drinks are pricey but taste like cheap instant versions of the drinks that they’re supposed to be.

Looks:

2/5

The decor has a washed-out pastel-like motif of what North Africa is supposed to look like. The colors are horrendous and the furniture constitutes mismatched cheap or tattered tables/shelves to hold other things on, primarily their store items. Their store items are so random and out of place and look like a bunch of colorful stuff from a swap meet gloriously thrown on a table for everyone waiting to go to the bathroom to shrug at while waiting to go to the bathroom. The crevices and scratches in the concrete are black and dirty. The high ceiling probably saves this place from smelling musty. A possible one extra star, but I decided against it. The wobbly lightweight metal outdoor tables have very poor balance underneath their dying vine caves on the slant of a hill going upwards.

Drinks:

1/5

For the area, I’m surprised they can get away with serving the poor drinks that they do. I’d expect poor quality drinks in a gas station town, not Silver Lake.

The chai constitutes an overly sweet instant chai powder and is about a dollar more expensive than the price listed on the wall, which I asked about. I guess the disparity of price is part of the disorganized motif. The sweet powdered chai with heated milk is about the same price as a freshly brewed chai at Intelligentsia next door.

The iced coffee is so incredibly bad, I couldn’t drink it. Given the benefit of the doubt that this isn’t brewed Folger’s instant coffee, the coffee has an aftertaste as if the grind is stale or lackluster. It was incredibly hard to drink. I tried even drinking and swallowing this drink really fast to not let the aftertaste attack my taste buds like they were. I left most of the drink behind which I rarely do.

Overall, I hate this place. I hate it being located in an area I pass by all the time. Please close down, please close down!

Useful:Funny:Cool: 1

8/23/2012

 

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Casbah Café – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Casbah Café – 1/5 Stars

Casbah Café – CLOSED
$$ Coffee & Tea
3900 W Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90029

I really detest this place. The decor is annoying and the drinks are pricey but taste like cheap instant versions of the drinks that they’re supposed to be.

Looks:

2/5

The decor has a washed out pastel-like motif of what North Africa is supposed to look like. The colors are horrendous and the furniture constitutes mismatched cheap or tattered tables/shelves to hold other things on, primarily their store items. Their store items are so random and out of place and looks like a bunch of colorful stuff from a swap meet gloriously thrown on a table for everyone waiting to go to the bathroom to shrug at, while waiting to go to the bathroom. The crevices and scratches in the concrete are black and dirty. The high ceiling probably saves this place from smelling musty. A possible one extra star, but I decided against it. The wobbly lightweight metal outdoor tables have very poor balance underneath their dying vine caves on the slant of a hill going upwards.

Drinks:

1/5

For the area, I’m surprised they can get away with serving the poor drinks that they do. I’d expect poor quality drinks in a gas station town, not Silver Lake.

The chai constitutes an overly sweet instant chai powder and is about a dollar more expensive than the price listed on the wall, which I asked about. I guess the disparity of price is part of the disorganized motif. The sweet powdered chai with heated milk is about the same price as a freshly brewed chai at Intelligentsia next door.

The iced coffee is so incredibly bad, I couldn’t drink it. Given the benefit of the doubt that this isn’t brewed Folger’s instant coffee, the coffee has an aftertaste as if the grind is stale or lackluster. It was incredibly hard to drink. I tried even drinking and swallowing this drink really fast to not let the aftertaste attack my taste buds like they were. I left most of the drink behind which I rarely do.

Overall, I hate this place. I hate it being located in an area I pass by all the time. Please close down, please close down!

Useful: Funny:Cool: 1

8/23/2012

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Gabriella Cafe – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Gabriella Cafe – 1/5 Stars

Gabriella Cafe
$$ American (New)
910 Cedar St
Santa Cruz, CA 95060

There’s an Aphex Twin song called ‘Come to Daddy’ that reminds me of this reaction I have when they finally delivered my food. I was anticipating a vegan requested plate that had I emailed the chef a few days before and about fifteen minutes after my friend got his food, mine had cheese smothered all over this damn plate.

This was after forty minutes of initial waiting. Before I reacted, the awful server disappeared back into the mood lighting atmosphere, forever. I was running around this empty establishment with the plate in my hand wanting to kick tables, lamps and the decorative bric-a-brac and the few old-timers dining here. I found someone, not the server, either in or near the kitchen almost looking at me as if I landed at the front of the kitchen from Mars. I was irate but polite enough to bite my tongue. It took another fifteen minutes to either de-cheese this $30 vegan-requested pasta option or boil more pasta, sauté more vegetables and drizzle olive oil on top of it.

Paul Cocking, the cook or manager here at the time who probably resonates with his last name, wrote me a few days before that a vegan option can be provided before I booked a reservation on Open Table. I don’t like to make people go out of their way to provide something BASIC but warn them to have something available, as the guy emails me in caps that the “CHEF CAME FROM MILLENIUM AND WILL PROVIDE.” I was unaware that the “chef from Millennium” would provide a Barilla pasta with sautéed vegetables and olive oil and then dump cheese on it. EVEN AS SELF-PROFESSED HORRENDOUS COOK, I COULD HAVE MADE THIS AND IN LESS AMOUNT OF TIME! Whether it was lack of preparation or not in accommodating me, I would be willing to entertain eating an expensive $30 gourmet Barilla vegetable pasta with olive oil had everything else not happened because I was here with someone else for a birthday dinner. Watching one person eat while two people are hungry kills the mood for both people.

This was quite a while ago and I don’t think I have ever been more repulsed by a restaurant’s existence, ever. I wrote about this bad experience on Open Table, and their lack of response reified never directly writing reviews to people who don’t care to read them. In summary, the two plates not only took a long time to arrive, they came at different times, they were small, one was messed up, nothing extravagant and pricey as hell. We went to Saturn Cafe after this $65 joke meal and had taquitos and milk shakes delivered at the same time and for about 1/10th the price, and that were actually filling.

As for you, you horrible Gabriella Cafe:

I WANT YOUR SOUL
I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL

Useful:Funny:Cool: 2

7/14/2014

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: USA Hostels – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: USA Hostels – 1/5 Stars

USA Hostels – CLOSED
Hostels
711 Post St
San Francisco, CA 94109

I actually wasn’t going to review USA Hostels on Post in San Francisco since I only stayed here one night in March. But since I discovered yesterday on Hostelworld that management wrote back a smug ‘most people enjoy our atmosphere’ to my comment about it being a party hostel with an awful common room in the basement, I felt like I should expand my comment via Yelp. I only discovered their comment after reviewing a couple of other hostels during my Europe excursion. I also believe in some places not being for everyone – and this place holds true for me (and Cori N. on Yelp who similarly had a negative experience with regards to the amount of aggressively loud party people staying here).

I stay at a lot of hostels and this is by far the most overrated place I’ve been to. Besides the mishap of them having overbooked my room with one other person (the issue was remedied by me going to reception to get the guy out of my bed) and breakfast virtually having run out an hour after it began, my biggest issue was the main common rooms of the hostel are in the dim and narrow basement and all the couches either face the washer and driers in the laundry room or the pool table. Most hostels I’ve stayed at only have breakfast in the basement and have common rooms on other levels because it’s more breathable, enjoyable, and comfortable. HI City Center – my favorite hostel in San Francisco – has common rooms on two levels – the main area and the mezzanine. It’s incredible and pleasant.

When I say ‘narrow’ here – I mean the ceiling in the dim basement is really low. Their laundry room, which is about the size of a bathroom, is ironically the most comfortable space to do work. They’ve got washers and dryers on one wall and cozy couch chairs and tables three feet away on the other wall. Mind you, I am indeed saying that the laundry room is the MOST comfortable part of their common area. The kitchen, lounge and eating area are all one big room for partying. All of the couches in that lounge face the pool table. So if you decide to sit there, you are basically joining in on Game Night, which is the night I stayed.

When I went down into the dim basement on Game Night, there was this miasma – a heavy odor – of sweat and beer in this unventilated, narrow hallway and low-ceiling basement. It was only 11 pm! There were a ton of 21-year-old guys yelling and beer cups everywhere. I work at a really popular music venue so I am around people who like to unwind that way all the time. BUT THERE ARE NO OTHER COMMON ROOMS for people who want a quieter space to go on their laptops, except that laundry room, and there were literally two people on each couch chair and people sitting along the wall to avoid those loudmouths with beer odor. There is also the drafty waiting room in front of reception, which is basically as comfortable as the heavy fluorescent lights it is situated in.

I initially felt like I just stayed at the wrong place, but after reading the reply left by Ria S. to Cori N.’s review, I know that I stayed at the wrong place. This is probably a reply left by the same person who posted the comment to my review. If you really want to tout and celebrate your amazing diversity of guests, why is it set up so every couch and room is facing a pool table and beer?

I lived in San Francisco and there is nothing about this place that offers a semblance to the city. It is a very generic, culture-less party hostel. And that’s fine if that’s what most people want. But if management wants to leave a comment on MY review that pats themselves on the back about their beloved hostel with a spacious basement, then this is my response. I recommend anyone who reads my review to stay at my favorite San Francisco hostel HI – City Center as it has an awesome local staff and atmosphere, but if you are scared to navigate the Tenderloin, then try HI – Downtown. It’s got a cool common room on an upper level, it’s next to Market Street, and has got an amazing breakfast with SF bagels that don’t run out.

Useful:Funny:Cool: 3

7/1/2016

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: British Consulate General – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: British Consulate General – 1/5 Stars

British Consulate General
Public Services & Government
2029 Century Park E Ste 1350
Los Angeles, CA 90067

I sometimes associate objects with colors.

But with the British Consulate General, I hear a sound: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I have been to The British Consulate General to apply/receive a Student Visa stamp on my American passport in 2010. I opted to pay $100 to WORLDBRIDGE SERVICES to schedule an appointment and see someone in person regarding my passport, rather than blindly mail my passport to a place that offers no direct method of interaction, telephone line or email.

Between the application and my actual visit to the British Consulate General was a nightmare. An absolute dive into Dante’s rings of hell! I was eating bitter, chunky eyeball pudding and suffering after a horrifying fall. I was paralyzed and rotting in a roach-infested grate. The worst experience I have ever, ever, ever had! It was so truly bad, it was surreal. Like paying top dollar for rotten food at a restaurant and then the chandelier, tables and chairs collapse and the management blames you for it all.

So, onward to this amazing WORLDBRIDGE SERVICES order form: I went on their website, put my credit card info on their website and clicked on an available appointment time with the British Consulate General. After confirming, the website had failed to load but yet it was somehow able to successfully charge me $100 for an appointment. There was an error message yet a confirmation of payment was sent via email (with a confirmation number) and I thought I was set up with an appointment. I came to Brentwood, and they had no record of me. The security guard in front was irritated that I came and thought I was trying to get upstairs without preparation. Ultimately he went upstairs, and told me they said I had to pay another $100 to schedule another appointment through WORLD BRIDGE SERVICES. Since there is no direct line to ask for a refund, you have to pay to request a refund.

Basically, it was like an amazing sketch comedy if it wasn’t happening to me. The guy on the phone said he couldn’t talk to me, and kept arguing with me about paying the $3/minute rate for a refund. And funny thing is: ONCE YOU PAY TO TALK TO SOMEONE, THEY TELL YOU THEY CANNOT REFUND YOU!! After paying $9, they told me to send a refund request via the contact form and they would get back to me.

When you send the contact form, there is a vague acknowledgement of the receipt for the request. ‘Your request has been received.’ Period. No contact information given nor any information about follow-up. In fact, it took about two weeks for them to get around to giving a refund. I was truly surprised.

After paying a second $100 and getting an official appointment, I went upstairs. There’s a security checkpoint. I walk in, there’s a tiny doctor’s office waiting room with the other people who paid $100 and next to us, I see a ton of envelopes, like hundreds mailed passports lying on a huge messy pile on a folding table. No matter what the circumstances are, I would deal with paying for their craptastic private company to get their stupid visa stamp again. What’s the recourse if someone’s visa is stolen or lost in this huge disorganized pile?

The security guard inside the actual waiting room, a grim old white dude and not British, was condescending, negative, obnoxious, and kept talking and talking. He complained that everyone in the room was texting on their cellphones and then mentioned his grandkids using cellphones all the time and not being in the real world and not chatting with dear granddad. Maybe they’d rather be on their cellphones than deal with your negative attitude, bub.

It took about two hours to get my student visa. I answered the questions they asked when I was at the window and gave them the documents/degrees/photos and waiting for the visa. Receiving the actual stamp that takes up two entire pages of my passport that I can never get back was very insignificant for the work I put into getting there.

Seriously, a private company and a $100 charge to deal with your shenanigans? In these three years that have passed and after living in Britain, I’m most grateful to learn through my time in Britain as an overseas student that actual companies in Britain do not operate like WORLDBRIDGE SERVICES.

Was it worth it? Perhaps. But be damned and less $100 if your order form on the website failed like mine.

Useful:Funny:Cool: 0

6/11/2013

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: TSA – Transportation Security Administration – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: TSA – Transportation Security Administration – 1/5 Stars

TSA – Transportation Security Administration
Police Departments
5767 W Century Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90045

I came in from Mexico City on Sunday 3/1/15 via Gate 6 at LAX and TSA thought I was a mule. I was put into an additional screening line after some guy asked me what I did for work, and then where I was born. I understand to say that I was pissed off is not a legitimate complaint. I stood in a line with three people and I let the TSA guy know that it’s ridiculous that my passport is basically littered with stamps from several countries and a UK visa; and never have I had to go through an additional screening before.

The guy usurped a power position and said now I’m going to listen to him. He decidely used my bad attitude to lecture me about not knowing me, and ask me question after question about my shady trip to a drug-laden country like Mexico. After looking through my dirty clothes, laptop, pockets, notebook and not finding anything in my bag, he then decided to do a thorough patdown in another room next to the bags. I have flown to over ten different countries and never had a patdown to the extent that I was taken to a private room, told to hold my arms far upward and out against a white wall littered with fingerprints from people that had to do the same thing, told to spread my legs wide enough that they were at 45 degree angles and have the perimeter of my anal wall cuffed with gloved hands. I am unsure if instead of desperately trying to find any drugs but retribution for a bad attitude means they have agency to poke my anus in a prone position.

He then had me take off my shoes, he looked between the credit cards in my wallet, searched my jacket and came up with nothing. Nobody else but me had to be taken to that other room.

What bothers me most is that TSA wrote back about my complaint and basically stated thank you for giving us something to add to our TSA watchlist file of you and that we otherwise do not care. Perhaps this excessive and ‘Gestapo’-like level of treatment is admirable, appropriate and desirable to heavily funded security agencies, but it’s probably going to one day undo itself since nobody is going to want to come here anymore or come back here. It’s a really fucking tempting thought.

Yes I got anal probed at TSA and everyone is either like ‘I hope he was cute’ or (re: Winston K) well I bet they didn’t stick their fingers THAT high. Seriously, I am then so grateful for decency and that my big Mexican drug baggie was high enough to be tucked behind some rectal curves. Asswipes.

Useful:Funny:Cool: 3

3/1/2015

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Ozu East Kitchen – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Ozu East Kitchen – 1/5 Stars

Ozu East Kitchen – CLOSED
$$ Ramen, Korean, Asian Fusion
3224 Glendale Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039

I can’t stand a cheat. I complained and got a refund from Groupon after Ozu charged a 20% ‘Groupon service fee’ for using my Groupon here. Ozu – if you want to use Groupon’s advertising and get money from them, then you must be transparent and say that a 20% fee ($4.60 for a $23 meal) is going to be added in the terms. Or add the ‘service fee’ to the $12 for $20 deal you offered. I have used Groupon many, many a times and have never been greeted with a ‘service fee’ for using a Groupon before. If every business just added a ‘service fee’ for someone using Groupon, then it really wouldn’t be worth using, would it?

As for the food and place itself – it was pretty darn good. Pricey, but good. Clearly I would not have rated this place one star as I found it to be a pretty nice place and experience all in all. The employees are nice enough and the food came out fast.

The vegan ramen would have been pretty damn good if it wasn’t for their miso broth. The miso broth for the vegan ramen was incredibly bland, it tasted like a hot umami-flavored water, but its inhabitants were yummy. They had a delicious chili sauce that spiced it up a bit. While the tofu was crisp and delicious, I must agree with the other reviewers that the mushrooms take the cake here. They’re impeccably amazing. They are deliciously plump and have a great texture. The ramen still left me hungry after finishing it, but the portion seemed pretty decent. Not too big or not too small.

It’s located in a beautiful corner building with high ceilings and great minimalist furniture. They have a massive projector playing a sports game. The idea was cooler than its execution, since it was on mute and nobody in there at the time looked like the types that would be into watching a sporting game. But kudos for trying.

Useful: 10  Funny:Cool: 3

4/24/2016

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Robert Half – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Robert Half – 1/5 Stars

Robert Half
Employment Agencies
865 S Figueroa St
Los Angeles, CA 90017

This review is based on the response back: I didn’t get one. I submitted a form detailing my information to Robert Half Technology a month ago. I called them a few days later. A receptionist answered and directed me to a voicemail box with a number. I left a message.

I waited.

A week later, I get a generic email back, acknowledging a response. I called them a few days later. A receptionist answered again, the same one, and directed me to a voicemail box with the same number. “You’ve reached box 34567. Leave a message, beep.” I left a message.

I waited, am waiting.

Maybe I should be impressed that their voicemail box wasn’t full?

“So hi Robert Half. Yeah I have a grad school background and I got such a useless doctorate in a Computer Science department that I can’t even get a call back from any of you asswipes.”

Maybe Robert Half Technology should nix the voicemail to nowhere and staff more people internally rather than externally. A rejection is at least more respectable than a lack of one.

And the fucking voicemail: the voicemail to nowhere is pathetic, pathetic, PATHETIC! Besides, what an outdated mode of communication to impart for a sector that specializes in TECHNOLOGY, leave a voicemail – 34567 might get back to you.

Useful: 10  Funny:Cool: 2

11/2/2013

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Health Net – 1/5 Stars

Chris G’s Best Yelp Reviews: Health Net – 1/5 Stars

Health Net
Insurance
21281 Burbank Blvd
Woodland Hills, CA 91367

It’s like this, you sign up for poor people health care. They have two options to which insures your poor person health care: Health Net or the LA one. They both don’t sound great but Health Net seems to have more closer options. Fine. I signed up. It was easy, and I received a welcome letter from Health Net.

Somehow a few months after that – I find a ton of Health Net advertisements. Like, almost as regularly as seeing ‘Got Milk?’ was in the 90s. Instead of getting better doctors or making healthcare more affordable, the money being sent to them is helping make home video fails (guy falling off trampoline) for their YouTube ‘when accidents happen, Heath Net is on your side!’ advertisements. Or the old-fashioned way – plastered advertisements at every bus stop from Santa Monica to Sunset in Los Angeles. This has been throughout the year.

So my questions are:

Why are you advertising?
Where are you getting all of this advertising money from?
Could this advertising money made a difference to thousands of people if you didn’t spend it on advertising a video of a guy falling off a trampoline?

This is insane ostentation. I feel like I should have stuck to the LA option if money that’s supposed to be going for my healthcare is being funneled out to make stupid advertisements. Perhaps in a more nicely Republican way – the generous CEOS are allowing for a reduction in their yearly raises to fund these cute advertisements for great healthcare insurance. I mean it’s not like there are a plethora of options for health care insurance for people like me – two checkboxes.

It’s a disgusting display of how much money Health Net – and more broadly insurance companies – have on their hands to throw around. I honestly hope to see them shut down within my lifetime.

Useful: 14  Funny:Cool: 2

11/7/2015

Posted by Chris Girard in Yelp
The Spanish Consulate of Los Angeles Translation Disaster

The Spanish Consulate of Los Angeles Translation Disaster

Gay Marriage, Leaving the Country, Resistance to Trump-ism in a Nutshell

On 12/14/16, I got gay married to an Italian named Christian at the courthouse in Beverly Hills. We decided to move to get married to ultimately move to Europe when Trump was inaugurated as president. We didn’t want to be part of that shit show, but the move to Spain was a shit show in itself. Getting married to someone with Italian citizenship means that I was eligible to become a European citizen. So we decided to move somewhere gay-friendly and decided on Madrid.

Since Christian is already a native speaker of English with European citizenship as he was born in Italy but left for Oklahoma when he was one years old, the English teaching institutions in Europe, a particularly notorious one called BEDA that you have to ‘pay’ to teach for and does all of the Catholic schools in the Madrid vicinity, swooped him up and wanted to offer him a placement immediately. So he did it, for all of 2017. He moved and was able to glide into living in Madrid after spending a month in a pensione (a monthly budget hotel) and staying for a time with temporary roommates he met on Grindr.

The Spanish Consulate Appointment System

I had to wait a year and apply to English teaching groups more formally and I got accepted into the fanciest English teaching one called UCETAM. I also applied for the public one offered by the country, but I went for UCETAM. This got me into Europe via a student visa. With a digital letter sent from UCETAM, I had to get a student visa from the Spanish Consulate in Los Angeles. There was no way of knowing that there were no appointments for three months out. I checked their website on a daily basis and finally was able to shoe myself into an appointment.

After waiting a month and shoeing myself in, I was rejected. I didn’t have the original letter from UCETAM. They had to send me the original letter and not a digital copy.

I was also rejected because my Spanish translation from Advanced Translation Services* was not done by a certified Spaniard. I didn’t have a ‘certified’ translation of my Apostille and FBI Background Check. It was not only any kind of translation, but it also had to be a special translation certified by only a select native Spain Spanish speaker living in the United States because Spaniards cannot decipher my clean criminal background in Latin American Spanish. It was obnoxious and unhelpful, to say the least.

Spamming The Translators for a Response

All Spanish Translators Are Not Equal

I was referred to a book of translators. There are about 20 sworn translators available in the United States who could do a translation of my background check. I emailed all of them at the same time.

Of the eighteen, eight responded back, six were on vacation and only two were able to have availability for the translation.

Sworn Translators Who Responded Back:

Tamara Cabrera could do it for $60.
Patricia López-Gay could do it for $120.
Pero Bujalance Andrés was not available.
Wawi Gorriz was not available.
Rocío Corredor was not available.
Sergi Raneda was not available.
Mercedes Oetgen was not available.
Marta Manzanares was not available.

Sworn Translators Who Didn’t Respond Back:

Celia Bravo Diaz didn’t respond back.
Eva Alonso Calero didn’t respond back.
Margarita Calvo didn’t respond back.
Eva Chaler didn’t respond back.
Angely Giambra didn’t respond back.
María Gutiérrez Rey didn’t respond back.
Irene Igualada didn’t respond back.
Mercedes Oetgen López didn’t respond back.
Silvia Aurora Oviedo didn’t respond back.

So I went with Tamera Cabrera, who was half as expensive as the other translator who responded back. She was a life saver.

Advanced Translation Service Said I Threatened to Leave a Negative Yelp Review…

…I said I was GOING to leave a negative review.

Oh my god, Marina, the lady who runs Advanced Translation Services, was so arrogant and awful to me. She took an “it’s not my problem, and how dare you even think our service has any bearing on your rejection” stance to me having to redo her translation by another translator that should have never been done. I asked if she could at least reimburse me for the $60 I spent on Tamera Cabrera. (I spent $95 on their service.) Nope!

Buyer beware. The Spanish Consulate in Los Angeles doesn’t accept their translations! And the person who I’ve been talking to is extremely crazy argumentative about not giving me a refund, even partial reimbursement for the same translation I had to redo by someone who is certified by the consulate. Their argument is that it’s my fault, essentially I should have known that I shouldn’t have come there, even though it’s listed on their website and Yelp that they provide for student visas. And I’m warning you, while there is no problems with the service of the translation, it’s at your own risk if you come here. I wish SOMEONE had let me known that their translator has no business translating for the consulate that they’re next to! But no, it’s my fault.

I’m moving to Europe yet again and I am being accepted into a work study thingamajig through an ordinary student visa. I came in and said I was applying for a student visa and dropped off an FBI Background Check and an Apostille of one. Since they’re located about a mile away from the consulate, I came directly from there and dropped off the paperwork. They told me it would be $95 and to come pick it up the next day. I thought that was reasonable and fast, so they charged my card and I left.

They didn’t call me back, so I ended up calling them back the following day. They told me it would be ready by the end of the day, so I picked it up the next day. They provided me with a translation of an FBI Background Check and the Apostille Certification of an FBI Background Check. And it looks professional and fine. No problems so far.

I finally go to my student visa appointment this morning and drop off the paperwork. The woman at the Spanish Consulate looks at the translation and immediately rejects it. She said it was because the translator at Advanced Translation Services was not listed in their international list of translators booklet. She referred to some type of book of translators, and on Pages 601 and 602, are the accredited people listed in the United States.

I was a bit floored because nobody at the Spanish Consulate or anything explicitly lists this and nobody at Advanced Translation said anything either. They claimed to help many, many people with student and work visas at the Spanish Consulate. And I did look at their website, which has links to the consulates, and the glowing reviews regarding their translations for visas.

And Marina basically has been specifically arguing that it’s my fault for not knowing about what they require prior. Honestly I don’t think that the consulate is consistent with everyone as it doesn’t list this requirement for specific translators anywhere. And I will be reviewing the consulate, once I get my stamped visa! This entire process with the consulate has been a clusterfuck of rules. Anyway they should know to warn others who need documents translated at the Spanish consulate that the translator needs to be someone who is approved by the consulate that’s located a mile from them! Apparently it was news to them too. And it’s my fault.

So two stars was FAIR. They did provide a decent translation and consistently wrote back, even to argue with me. I thought it was fair to at least request to have the $66 that I spent on a legit Spanish translator (according to the consulate) as I basically threw $95 into the recycling bin with this beautifully useless translation.

So Marina the owner responded back to this Yelp review and said that I ‘threatened’ to leave negative feedback. At the very end of these long argumentative and dismissive emails, I said I was GOING to leave negative feedback.

I would have been happy to ‘return’ the useless Advanced Translation Services translation but I ended up throwing it out.

Posted by Chris Girard in Dual Citizenship, Languages