RIP Most Useful, Most Funny, and Most Cool Yelp reviews 2008-2018
I almost had my Black Elite 10-year anniversary badge… I didn’t make it. It’s so difficult to maintain a long-term relationship with something that you have to give more than you receive in return.
Being an Elite, then Gold Elite, almost a Black Elite, for the course of 12 years made me realize that I should be getting money for writing.
I was upset that as the years of my elite-hood progressed into the late 2010s, I would get accepted less and less for the social invitations that I RSVP’ed to. When I was first Elite in 2008, I could go to everything and get free sake mugs too. By 2012, I was going to parties and dinners all over Los Angeles. I got full-course vegan dinners and alcoholic beverages at swanky bars. By 2016-2017, I received no response to half of the Elite invitations I tried to go to. Katie Burbank, who was the manager at the time, would prioritize the novelty of newness (new members) over the novelty of a sardonic Yelp review. Most of that Yelp from the lowly red Elites was saccharine crap. Then I stopped with Yelp and decided to take over my own Yelp and host my own reviews.
There was a social aspect to Yelp that wasn’t great. I never made a friend from Yelp -outside- of Yelp. It wasn’t really a way to produce social overtures like social media and dating sites could be. You would chat with people by leaving notes next to the “You’re Hot,” “You’re Cool” and “You’re Funny” compliments back and forth. There was nothing that really held Yelp friends together besides the sharing of funny reviews we wrote.
I remember part of my journey with Yelp was presenting it at UC Santa Cruz, which was incredibly fun. Not. It was criticized by these asshole white Marxists at UC Santa Cruz as propagating the fetish to consumerism. A lot of my day-to-day experiences are going out to businesses and it’s a way I can remember parts of my life beyond the great or crappy food or um ambience.
The Enneagram and Myers Briggs personality assessment can be used on animals. Both are methods of identifying personality inclinations, like extroversion, introversion, thinking, feeling, perceiving, and judging. I have been watching Kittisaurus on YouTube (formerly Creamheroes). This is a list of the personality types of Claire Luvcat and all of her cats (except the two kittens) from Kittisaurus on YouTube.
Claire Luvcat – ENFJ 2w3
Claire Luvcat, aka the Butler, is a human who usually you hear speaking in Korean to her cats and sometimes in her high school English to her many American viewers. I think of Claire Luvcat like Jon from Garfield. I think if I was her neighbor, I would worry about her. Her neighbors probably hear her talk to herself all the time with nobody responding back. She has dedicated her life to taking care of all ten of her cats by herself. Every day she has to groom some of them, give some of them a bath, trim some of their nails, clean hair from the couch or rug, feed them, give them supplements, play with them, film them, edit the film and most importantly take them to the doctor. It’s a very full-time job!
It is rare for humans to come into her apartment and she seems quite neurotic when someone comes to her apartment as she is quite concerned with them carrying germs or getting the cats sick or dirty. She made sure one popular YouTuber in Korea washed his hands before touching the cats. She has a rather nice personality. And I can see her as being very likable and popular with humans as well based on her affection towards the cats. But she probably rejects a lot of people from her life because she chooses to be with cats over humans. She keeps her face hidden and rarely features family members on her channel. She doesn’t seem to date, although I can imagine a lot of people would like to date her, but she has dedicated her life to being a cat lady.
Lulu (•̀A•́) – ENFP 7w6
Lulu is the most popular cat on Kittisaurus because of his looks and antics. He is the reason why -I- began watching this channel. He is a munchkin cat that often stands on his tiny hind legs like a meercat. He has a cleft palate, which makes his mouth look like he is showing constant disapproval, surprise, or fear in a cute way. And he has big expressive eyes that make him look especially surprised or as if he is scheming.
The other cats, particularly the other male cats, don’t like him so much. Chuchu likes him, and sometimes Lala does too, but usually only because Lala wants to be groomed. Lulu seems to not care or mind what the other cats think of him and grooms everyone to his own liking and satisfaction. Lulu definitely steps over everyone’s boundaries as he is oblivious to the concept of personal boundaries or just doesn’t care. Maybe he has cat autism? Lulu is oblivious at how self-centered he is when he jumps to get food or how annoyed the cats are at him when he grooms them. Lulu is definitely not a team player; he is incredibly active, steals the show, and loves the camera, and the camera loves him, more than the other cats.
TT – ISFJ or INFJ 1w2
TT is only loyal to Claire Luvcat and she especially loves Claire Luvcat. TT is in a platonic relationship with Claire, whether Claire feels like it’s mutual or not. TT gets very jealous or upset when Claire ignores her in favor of other cats or is gone for too long. TT was one of the first cats Claire has taken care of and is always sleeping in her bed. Claire seems to allow her in her bed more than the other (hairier) cats. TT is not interested in ANY of the other cats. They all get in the way of her relationship with Claire. TT also seems to prefer humans in general as she is often more interactive and friendly to humans than cats. TT had a traumatic childhood with being sick and got herpes, which subsequently made her left eye more cloudy and darker. It seemed to strengthen her loyalty and devotion to Claire, who took care of her. I consider her to have a strange intuitive connection to Claire as TT often understands everything Claire is saying. TT also is a strange empath to human expressiveness, she shares her emotions with Claire, like sulking out of jealousy or loneliness, but also seems to understand far more of how Claire is feeling than any of the other cats.
DD – XSTJ 9w8 or 8w9
DD was born to be a peaceful earthy lap cat but was given a crazy family. He isn’t inclined to move except when provoked and he is often provoked. He gets along with almost all of the other cats (except sometimes Lulu) and is possibly the alpha cat. Since he took care of Lala as a kitten, he sees her as a grown-up kitten, and thus friendzoned her and only likes her as a friend. He likes being mellow and watching the action but is often put into the action due to him being -too- mellow to run away and hide. It gets him involved in situations he necessarily doesn’t want to be in. He hangs out in places he shouldn’t be in.
Coco – INTP 9w1
Coco looks like a fluffy white lion and acts as a lone wolf. He doesn’t seem to care much for any of the cats, but not in a particularly negative way. He is neutral and is just rolls with the flow with everyone. He tolerates Claire as much as he does any of the cats. He has no strong likes or dislikes of anyone. He is very sportsman-like and likes physical and mental challenges a lot. Claire calls him “The Scientist” because of his objective interest in what’s going on. He looks very cute in a tie and often would have been given a voice to give an unbiased account of what’s going on like a news reporter. But unlike a news reporter, he doesn’t like the camera and stays behind Claire’s white opaque curtain, hoping to stay camouflaged. It usually works.
Lala – ESFP 7w6 or 3w4
Lala is a very beautiful white munchkin cat with short legs and a big fluffy tail. Since she is so short and fluffy, she looks like a puffy cloud. She loves being close to the action and going after treats like Lulu. She is very adventurous but at the same time gets easily frightened. She wants to do everything that the long-legged cats can do, and got once was unable to get down from a high place due to her short legs. Like most white cats, she knows she is fancy, and is a bit self-absorbed and often seeks others to groom her while she grooms herself. She is in love with DD, even though he sees her as a child.
Momo – ISTJ 5w6
Momo’s voice given by Claire is hilarious. He is a grumpy curmudgeon and holds a constant scowl. He looks like an orange pug. He is less serious than he leads others to believe. What is funny about Momo is that even though he looks unapproachable, Momo is a ladies cat. He especially is fond of his first love Lala, who is mostly unimpressed with his antics and hits him with her tiny leg. Lala is in love with DD, who still sees Lala as a kitten. Momo likes being patted on his rear and he is often found hanging out in the sheltered kitty litter box, often for a longer time than it takes to poop.
Chuchu – ISFJ 2w1
It’s hard to tell what Chuchu is like behind her ball of hair. She seems to hide behind her hair and is quite shy. Chuchu gravitates towards Lulu because he is brave and helps get her out of her shell. Whether Chuchu feels romantic towards Lulu, that’s uncertain. Chuchu doesn’t seem to like or dislike anyone, but it seems she likes Lulu, because Lulu helps her be more brave and assertive. Chuchu reminds us that when we’re really shy, it’s difficult to get out of your comfort zone by ourselves and it helps to have more outgoing friends to lean on. I believe that Chuchu is the only cat that really appreciates what Lulu offers.
Nana – ESFJ 2w3
Nana is the mother cat and is likely the most worldly of all of the cats. She has faced the cruel outside world head on and has had the hardest life of all of the cats. She was rescued from being euthanized at a shelter with her two kittens, which means she was possibly homeless or at least in a very unstable situation when she was put in a shelter. She interacts quite easily with strangers, as is shown when she was at the hospital and wasn’t shy at all around the two hospital cats, unlike Claire’s other cats. Since she has had a tough life, she seems to carry with her a sense of gratitude about being with Claire. She is mature, wise and hasn’t been shown fighting with any of the other cats and tries to get along with everyone. She is also protective of her kittens, but reasonably so, and allows the kittens to socialize with the cats. She seems to like DD.
The Kittens: Toto, Dodo – ??
These two kittens look alike to me and I can’t physically distinguish them. One of the cats is more extroverted, gregarious and mischievous than the other cat. One has a marking on the forehead that the other does not. Whatever. The gregarious cat seems to be the leader and the other cat follows. They have quickly turned into big cats from the beginning to the end of Summer 2020, but for now, the kittens are too young to have a proper Enneagram and Myers-Briggs assessment.
I am very attracted to people who lead strange and interesting lives. My friends didn’t have regular jobs at the time. I didn’t have a regular job. I have only ever been invited to weird weddings. I have connected well with people through social networking. I have met many others through music venues, like Koo’s Cafe, in the early 2000s. There are people everywhere. But I can only photograph people that I connect with. I failed a photojournalism class because I couldn’t connect with people. (Here’s to you for keeping your high ratio of graduating professional photojournalists intact, Ken Kobre.)
Now, I’m a videographer.
I have been a videographer at the Echoplex since a darkwave New Years Eve night for Part Time Punks fated me to figure out how to do it. So now I work more with video and film than with photography. Los Angeles is a film city. I work as a videographer at The Echo and The Echoplex in Los Angeles and film many iconic musical groups under the umbrella of Live Nation.
Clan of Xymox plays at The Echoplex on March 8th, four days before its closure. You can see the faithful ATEM control panel and video screens beside the band.
City Morgue had a very heavy show two days before The Echoplex shut down. I couldn't ask for a better last show to record. There was a massive amount of stage diving and dancing; more than any other show I've recorded in a while.
I filmed and recorded Clan of Xymox on March 8th, 2020 and City Morgue on March 10th, 2020 – days before COVID-19 stopped everything on March 12th, 2020. Each of the bands featured from these shows have been recorded, live streamed on at least eleven Samsung Smart TVs throughout the venue and the video recordings are saved on the video’s external hard drive at the Echoplex.
I’m at least happy to witness two amazing and very different bands, one well-established goth rock/dark wave group and one powerful up-and-coming hip hop group, play at our venue on the last days before everything came to a halt. These last few days at the Echoplex sum up what I love about this venue – it offers an incredible and wide range of shows that come each week.
I sadly would have been the person live streaming and filming the Anti-Flag show at the Echoplex on Saturday, May 16th. Maybe one day it will happen.
This is a picture of renowned Reggae singer Sister Nancy performing behind my massive multi-camera video displays using ATEM in 2019.
This is Jimmy of Jimmy Eat World at Emo Nite LA at the Echoplex in 2019.
This doesn’t happen very often. You’ve answered all of the questions!
OkCupid is a phenomenon that began for me in 2003 when it offered just quizzes and test results. You can find out what kind of dater you were, for example, then you could share your results on LiveJournal. And then something happened in the late 2000s, like in 2009, where they matched everyone’s answers together to being compatible or not. It was cool, and I learned a lot about myself through the thousands of questions I began to answer and more importantly, who I get along with. It was like really diving into what my moral compass was (or wasn’t) and how important hanging out with people with the same values I held was. I remember when I was taking an eight hour train train ride that ran along the coastline between Portland, Oregon to Vancouver, British Columbia and finished answering over 3,000 questions from my iPhone on OkCupid. I had a bit of an existential epiphany on that trip.
This is a screenshot from someone who is not a match (0% match) and is a 44% enemy from the “y’all got issues” section that used to let you compare questions to OkCupid enemies during its golden era in 2011.
From there, I began dating people around 2010 to 2012. I would consider this period the ‘golden age’ of OkCupid. They weren’t trying to compete with eHarmony. It showed you compatibility percentages, level of friend percentage and enemy percentages. The people were incredibly interesting and the high percentages yielded more interesting queer and poly people that I was looking for at the time. I ended up marrying a guy with similar progressive values as mine that I met on OkCupid in 2011 and we are still together. Let me repeat that: I married a guy from OkCupid. Honestly, I thank OkCupid for that period of time because it weeded out a lot of attractive people that I otherwise would have been into if I didn’t ‘see’ beneath the surface that they were very religious, politically moderate or conservative or serial monogamists. I am still friendly with a large portion of people I met on OKC in the early 2010s, so I really believed in the totality of the questions.
I stopped using OkCupid after around 2014 when I got busy with a job and my long-term relationship from OkCupid. And many years later, I see billboards with pastel backdrops and very corny and ‘young professional’ and mainstream-looking people in normcore clothes on billboards in Silver Lake advertising OkCupid. Their demographic has a day job at Buzzfeed. I think they’re trying to compete with eHarmony and achieve the mainstream market of daters. I revisited it and the questions have become a lot more dry for the serious eHarmony type dater, and made for fast coupling. They’re made for people who work too much and who don’t have time to fuck around before marriage.
So the reward I get for answering every dumb question on OkCupid is that it ultimately says, “find matches.” Here is every question on OkCupid and every answer I have given. The bold responses are my answers. The italic answers include the comments I wrote. The stars ★ next to a question indicate the questions that I found “important.” This is stuff I have answered between 2010 and 2020, so many answers are going to be different than how I might answer now.
Do you think prescription drugs should be more accessible?
Absolutely
Not really
★ Tattoos?
Turn on
Turn off
★ Are you concerned about rising sea levels?
Yes!
Not really
How will you vote in the 2020 presidential election?
Democrat
Honestly not sure
Republican
I won’t vote
★ Do you support marriage equality?
Yes
No
Exchanging memes?
Sure!
Nope
Of the frontrunners of the 2020 election, who are you most likely to support?
Biden
Sanders
Trump
Warren
★ Could you date someone who wouldn’t vote for a woman?
Yes
No
Do you create your own recipes or follow recipes?
I like to go rogue
Depends
Always follow!
★ Do you enjoy cooking dates?
Yes, they’re my favorite!
Sometimes
No, I don’t like making my food
RuPaul’s Drag Race?
Yas queen!
Not a fan
★ How do you feel about cooking with a partner?
Love it!
Not my favorite
★ Bigger deal: sharing your bed or your history in bed?
Sharing your bed
Sharing your history in bed
Are you willing to go out on dates during the coronavirus outbreak?
Yes, of course
No, I want to wait for this to end before meeting
Are tacos on your top 5 favorite food list?
Yes
No
Do you put ice in your wine?
Yes, I have
Nope!
If a brand shares your political values does it influence how you feel about it?
Yes
No
★ Would you date someone who is the same sexual position as you?
Yes
Only if we can take turns
No
Do you enjoy using sex toys with a partner?
Yes
No
★ Do you consider it cheating to hook up with the opposite sex?
Yes
Depends on the situation
No
Is pizza on your top 5 favorite food list?
YES!
Nope
Have you faced discrimination within the LGBTQ+ community?
Yes
No
★ Would you commit long-term to someone of the same sex?
Yes
For the right person
No
Do you practice safe sex?
Always
Usually
Never
Shower sex?
Yes please
No thank you
Are you attracted to one gender more than another?
Yes
No
Would you be open to dating someone who does drag?
Yas, queen!
Not really
I do drag, so yes!
Do you consider yourself an activist?
Yes
No
Did your family support you coming out?
Yes, it was amazing!
Not at first, but it’s getting better
No, we don’t discuss it
Could you date someone who doesn’t believe in vaccinating?
Sure
Hell no
Does your family understand your gender and sexual identity?
Yes
It’s a work in progress
No
Do you feel entertainers should be held accountable for jokes they made many years ago?
Yes, they should be held accountable
No, if the jokes were funny then- it’s fine
Are gender and sexuality labels important to you?
Yes, identity is important
No, I am who I am
Do you enjoy foreplay or sex more?
Foreplay
Sex
★ How long do you typically wait before moving in with a partner?
Less than 1 year
After 1 year
★ Do you clap when a plane lands?
Yes
No
Do you support Trump’s travel ban?
Absolutely not!
Yes, it’s for safety
Does size matter?
Yes
No
Does bottoming affect what you eat?
Yes it sucks
Not really
I don’t bottom
Are you openly bisexual?
Yes
Only to some people
No
Is LGBTQ+ homelessness an important issue to you?
Yes
No
★ Do you mind straight people being at LGBTQ+ bars?
Yes please go
Doesn’t matter to me
No, everyone’s welcome!
When did you come out?
Teenagehood
Adulthood
I’m not out
★ Is a soulmate worth waiting for?
Yes
No
Are you registered to vote?
Yes
No
★ Do you vape/use e-cigs?
Yes, regularly
Occasionally, when I can’t smoke a cigarette
No, but I’m interested
No, never
★ Do you feel families should be separated at the US border?
Yes
No
★ Do you feel Trump should be impeached?
Yes!
Not necessarily
No!
How do you feel about talking politics with your family?
It’s important
Hell no
★ Do you feel there needs to be prison reform in the U.S.?
Yes
No
Would you date someone that vaped/used e-cigs?
Yeah
Nah
★ Is a tongue stud a turn-on?
Yes
No
I haven’t seen a tongue stud in almost 20 years.
How do you feel when you see people getting engaged on your social media?
Good for them!
Honestly, a little jealous
Are family planning benefits important to you when you’re looking for a job?
Definitely!
Not really
★ Does the US need stricter gun control?
Yes
No
★ Is it racist to say you are generally sexually attracted to a particular race?
Yes
No
Do you like going to brunch?
Yes!
Not really
★ Do you like to argue?
Yes
No
Are you willing to pay extra for guac?
Yes
No
Do you want to visit Area 51?
Yes, the truth is out there
No, the truth is not out there
Do you enjoy planning a date?
Yes, I have so many ideas!
No, there’s too much pressure
Do you try to limit your screen time?
Yes!
I try and fail
No
I really need to limit it
Do you drink iced coffee all year-round?
Yes, even when it’s winter
No, it’s a seasonal beverage
★ Do you believe in psychics?
Yes, I see one regularly
Yes, but I don’t see one
No, I don’t
Would you date someone who doesn’t exercise their right to vote?
Yes
No
★ Do you practice self-care?
Yes, regularly
Yes, sometimes
No, but I want to
No
★ Should people be penalized if they don’t vote in elections?
Yes
No
Do you volunteer?
Yes, regularly
Yes, every once in a while
No, but I’d like to
No
How often do you check social media?
Too often
A healthy amount
Barely at all
I don’t use social media
What do you do with your tax refund (if you get one)?
Spend it
Save it
A little of both
★ Can you separate an artist/entertainer’s bad behavior from their art?
Yes
No
★ How are you feeling about the 2020 election?
Hopeful about the candidates
Unsure about how I feel
I’m still devastated about the 2016 election
Ready for 4 more years of Trump
How do you feel about coffee dates?
Not for me
Love ’em
What’s more attractive in a partner?
Exercising
Exercising their right to vote
Are you excited for the new season of Stranger Things?
Yes, I’ve got my Eggos ready
A little
Not really
I don’t watch Stranger Things
Do you vote in midterm and local elections?
Yes
No, I vote in the general election every 4 years
No, I don’t vote
It depends on who’s running
★ Do you care about new Supreme Court appointees?
Yes
No
Do you support the Green New Deal?
Yes
No
★ Do you have any clothing/accessories with the American flag printed on it?
Yes, I wear them all the time
Yes, but I only wear them on certain holidays
Yes, but they’re ironic
No
Have you ever practiced an awards show acceptance speech?
Yes, don’t call me out like this
No, I haven’t
Do you like going to weddings?
Yes
It depends on who is getting married
Not really
Do you still make a summer reading list?
Yes, gotta have those beach reads
No, but I’d like to
Nope
Would you rather use Lyft or Uber?
Lyft
Uber
Whichever is cheaper
I don’t use ridesharing
★ When can someone wear white pants?
Only between Memorial Day and Labor Day
Whenever they want
Never
Only when they know they won’t spill
How excited are you for the next Star Wars movie?
The excitement is strong with this one
A little, I’ll see it eventually
Not at all
What do you prefer to swim in?
Ocean
Pool
Lake
I don’t swim
Do you like going to summer music festivals?
Yes, love ’em
No, but I’d like to one day
I’m not interested in going to them
Do you like true crime shows, podcasts, books, etc.?
Yes
No
Do you buy a wedding gift when you go to a wedding?
Yes, always
Yes, but only if I don’t have to travel
Only if I’m close to the people getting married
No, my presence is a present
Would you wear shorts to work?
Yeah
Yes, because I work outside
No way
I would but my workplace doesn’t allow it
Do you watch more TV during the summer?
Yes, it’s time to catch up
No, I’m out doing other stuff
I watch the same amount
Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains on vacation?
Beach
Mountains
Do you think social media is contributing to Fake News?
Yes
No
Do you think companies should allow employees to have paid period leave?
Yes
No
Are you saving for retirement?
Yes
No
Would you have children with a partner if you were not married?
Yes
No
I won’t have children until I have enough money to support them, which I don’t realistically see happening for the next ten years.
★ Do you speak more than one language?
Yes
No
No, but I want to learn
★ What do you think about gender neutral passports?
I’m in favor of them
I think they’re unnecessary
Do you fold underwear?
Yes
No
How often do you speak to your parents?
At least once a week
At least once a month
Only on special occasions
I don’t
Are you currently saving to buy your own home?
Yes
No
Why buy when you can rent?
Do you meditate?
Yes
Transcendental meditation since 2013
No
★ Would you prefer a group first date or one-on-one?
Group date, there’s less pressure
One-on-one, I want to get to know that person
★ Would you be open to a long-distance relationship?
Yes, for the right person we can make it work
It depends on how far away they are
No, I can’t do long distance
★ Would you live with a partner before marriage?
Yes
Only if we were engaged
No
★ How do you feel about having joint bank accounts in a long term relationship?
I prefer joint accounts
I prefer independent accounts
How would you feel if your partner earned more money than you?
Jealous
Indifferent
Inferior
Thrilled
★ Have you attended a protest march?
Yes
No
No, but I’d like to
★ Is it important to you that your partner practices the same religion as you?
Yes
No, I don’t mind if we practice different religion
It depends on their religion
No, I don’t practice a religion
Do you answer work email on the weekend?
Yes
Self employed, I work on gigs
No
Only if it’s urgent
★ Freedom of the press is…
Important
Not important
★ Are you concerned about climate change?
Yes
No
★ Do you prefer that your date shares your political views?
Yes
No
Do you know anyone who has married someone they met on a dating app?
Yes
My husband
No
Best first date?
Coffee
Something cultural or activity based
Drinks
Dinner
Could you date someone who doesn’t vote?
Yes
Absolutely Not
★ Do you have any tattoos?
I have 1 or more big tattoos
I have at least one.
I have 1 or more little tattoos
I have no tattoos
★ When you are sleeping, do you prefer:
A cold room
A cool room
A warm room
A hot room
Sharing a toothbrush with your partner is…
Utterly disgusting
Okay, sometimes
A sign of closeness
★ Which of the following has the biggest influence on your behavior?
Reason, Observation, Empiricism, Trial-And-Error.
Tradition, Faith, Upbringing, Heritage.
Emotion, Intuition, Instinct.
Is foreplay necessary for good sex?
Yes
No
I’ve had incredibly good sex in public, out of fear and exhilaration. So there must be some type of chemical link between the adrenaline from risky sex and the intimacy or bond from foreplay.
Which event sounds most appealing?
Sci-Fi Convention
Political Convention
Music Festival
New Years Eve in Times Square
How frequently do you drink alcohol?
Often
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
Would you rather…
be tied up during sex
do the tying
avoid bondage all together
sometimes be tied up, sometimes do the tying
If you had a dream in which you were having sex with a close friend, would you tell them about it?
Yes.
No.
It depends upon which friend.
Do you feel comfortable in an educational or academic environment?
I love it; I’d possibly make teaching a career
Yes, but sixteen to twenty years is enough for me
I can tolerate it, it’s just a means to an end
Get me as far from school as possible. Now!
Do you have a TV in your bedroom?
Yes
No
Would you date someone who was in considerable debt?
Yes, it’s not a problem for me
Yes, if I thought the debt were justified
No
Are you friends with mostly men or mostly women?
Mostly men
Mostly women
It’s pretty mixed
Are the holidays a romantic time of year?
Yes
No
Would you introduce a new significant other to your family at the holidays?
Yes, it’s the perfect time
No, there’s too much going on
Would you rather go home for the holidays or travel somewhere else?
There’s no place like home for the holidays
It’s called a holiday for a reason!
Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?
Yes
No
Do you make New Year’s resolutions?
Yes, and I keep them
Yes, but they’re out the window by February
No
Your family dog/cat is diagnosed with an illness, and the vet bill will be $2,000. Do you :
Save Fluffy–to hell with the expense!
Grudgingly pay the bill.
Have Fluffy put down
Are you kinky?
Yes
No
A bit
Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?
Yes
No
Only if no one is looking
Is it wrong to cultivate or manufacture illegal drugs?
Yes, always
No, never
Sometimes
Would you ideally like to be married within the next 3 years?
Yes
No
Possibly
I’m already married
Are you ready to settle down and get married right now?
Absolutely
No way
Get married yes, settle down no
Get married no, settle down yes
Do you think dating apps should be somewhat or completely responsible for helping daters become better, more respectful daters?
Yes
No
★ Are you upset when your partner flirts with someone else?
Yes, they shouldn’t be doing that
No, it’s human nature
★ Do you find that you’re more open-minded after you’ve visited somewhere new?
Yes
No
How important do you think it is for people who are dating to share the same home country?
Very important
Somewhat important
Not important at all
It can actually be better if they don’t
Cilantro?
Yes, please
No, thank you
Do you think answering yes or no questions will help you find your soulmate?
Yes
No
Is it easier for you to talk to people online or in person?
Online
In person
Should partners know one another’s passwords?
Yes
No
★ Are you a cable cordcutter? i.e. stream only
Yes
No
When possible, DIY or buy?
DIY for sure
Buy always
Little bit of both
★ What is the primary way you get your news?
Social Media
Podcasts
TV or Print
Not into the news
Do you ask to speak to the manager when you’re displeased with your service?
Without question
Not my style
Only if the situation is dire
If the movie you want to watch is not free on Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hulu, etc, do you pay for it or find another movie?
Find another movie
Pay for it
Give up and don’t watch anything
Do you need a college degree to be successful?
Yes
No
Would you cosplay at Comic-Con?
Yes
No
I’ve done it before!
★ iPhone or Android?
Android forever
iPhone—blue bubbles only
Still rocking that flip phone
Are you 420 friendly?
I’m all about that cannabis culture
I get high sometimes
Nah brah
Have you ever tried a marijuana sex product (cannabis lube, condoms, dildos)?
Yes
No, but tell me more
No
Have you fallen head over heels before?
Yes
No
★ Are you hoping to fall head over heels?
Yes
No
★ Do you think it’s human nature to flirt, even when you’re with someone?
Yes, so I’m okay with it
Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with it
No, but I’m okay with it
No, it’s not a legitimate excuse and not okay
If someone you loved was banned from entering your country, what would you do?
Go to their country
Fight to help them come to your country
Never see them in person
Are you a hugger?
Yes
No
★ Do you think catcalling is a form of harassment?
Yes
No
Do you have faith in humanity?
Yes
No
Would you choose to use your vacation time to go on a cruise?
Yes
No
Would you ever run for office?
Yes
No
Maybe if it was the right position
Are you into PDA?
Oh yeah
Not so much
As long as I don’t have to watch it
Do you prefer to share food?
Yes
No
Only if it’s meant to be shared
★ Therapy?
Necessary
Good for some people
Not for me
Total BS
Are you an avid reader?
I read regularly
I read on occasion
I rarley read
What do you think is the best way to connect with someone you’re interested in?
Talking
Doing an activity together
Having sex
Do you believe most disagreements happen because people aren’t logical?
Yes
No
If you see an attractive stranger (offline), do you introduce yourself?
Yes, usually
Yes, but only in certain settings (bars, clubs)
Once in a while
Never
Getting high on a date:
sounds like fun
is not for me
Being romantically approached by a stranger is:
Usually more annoying than nice
Usually more nice than annoying
★ Could you be in a committed relationship with someone who regularly smokes pot (> 2 times a week)?
Yes
Only if it were for medical use
No
What’s the best part of dating?
The anticipation
The actual dates
The sex
Having someone to take as your plus-one
★ Do you think statues and streets named after confederate generals should be removed or changed?
Yes
No
I don’t care
Have you ever fantasized about hooking up with a co-worker?
Yes, and I have acted on it
Yes, and I have not acted on it
No
Would you date someone who did not support the #MeToo movement?
Yes
No
★ Do you think it’s important to challenge typical gender roles in dating?
Yes
No
★ Would you be upset if your partner sat on someone else’s lap?
Yes
No
★ Should your partner have the same taste in TV shows as you?
Yes, we need to watch together
No, we don’t need to watch together
No, I don’t watch much TV
Marvel or DC?
Marvel, for sure
DC, all the way
They’re both great
What’s the difference?
Would you consider dating someone who has no interest in sex and experiences no sexual attraction?
Yes
No
Should you and your significant other be watching the same TV shows?
Yes, it’s a fun way to spend time together
No, it’s not that important to me
★ Do you tag your friends in memes?
Yes!
No, it’s annoying
What’s a meme?
★ Do you turn your phone off at the movies?
Of course, I’m not a monster
I put it on silent or airplane mode
No, but I put it away
No, I still use it
★ Do you think the military should ban transgender people from service?
No
Yes
I’m not sure
★ Do you think the US government unfairly over-incarcerates people of color?
Yes, definitely
Maybe, but I stand by what’s decided in each case
No, it does not
I’m not sure
★ How often do you take selfies?
Daily
A few times a week
Occasionally
Never
What’s your Hogwarts house?
Gryffindor
Hufflepuff
Ravenclaw
Slytherin
Is a hotdog a sandwich?
Yes
No
Do you like writing lists?
1. Yes 2. Yes! 3. YES
No
Are sex and intimacy the same thing?
Yes
No
What’s your opinion of the phrase “making love” when it refers to sex?
It’s beautiful.
It’s hokey and overly sentimental.
It refers to a very specific kind of sex.
It’s no better or worse than any other.
How much do you usually tip a server who did a fine job?
Around 10% or less
10-15%
15-20%
Over 20%
When you go out for dinner, which best describes the type of establishments you visit the most?
Fast Food.
Casual Dining.
Fine Dining.
What do you think of the prospect of having sexual intercourse while wearing some type of costume(fur-suit, sci-fi costume, clown suit, whatever).
Yes way
No way
★ Which would you prefer your ideal match to be more into?
Sports
Books
Music
Movies
How do you feel about TV reboots?
Love ’em!
ENOUGH
Only if it’s for a show I like
I’m indifferent
Do you still order off the kids menu?
Yes, let me live
Once in a while
No, I am an adult
Are you a coffee snob?
Very much so
Not really, I’ll drink anything
I don’t drink coffee
Should engineers be required to take humanities classes?
Yes, it’s an essential part of curriculum
Why not? It’s an easy grade
No, it’s a waste of time
★ How often do you go to a place of worship?
On a regular basis
Only on certain occasions
Rarely
Never
Are you a good trivia team member?
You bet
Only for certain topics
No, please help me
I hate trivia
What do you do when a new season of your favorite Netflix show drops?
Watch it all in one sitting
Binge it with multiple breaks
Watch it slowly to make it last
I didn’t even know there was a new season
How much have your values changed since you were 16?
A lot
A little
Not much
Not at all
Do you share your streaming platform passwords with other people?
Of course!
Only if they split the cost
I only use other people’s passwords
No, I don’t share
Do you think celebrities should share their political opinions?
No, they should stick to their area of expertise
Yes, they are citizens too
Would you rather cook your own food or order takeout?
Cook it myself
Order takeout
★ Do you like using party drugs like MDMA/molly?
Yes
Yes, but rarely
Nope, not at all
What is the longest you’ve traveled to meet up with someone from a dating app?
Less than an hour
Between one and five hours
More than five hours
I’ve never met up with someone from a dating app
Can you tell from someone’s dating profile whether or not you’ll get along in real life?
Yes, usually
About half the time
No, usually
I don’t know
Have you ever owned sex toys?
Yes
No
Which is better: sex without sleeping together or sleeping together without sex?
Sex
Sleeping
Do you hope to move around a lot?
Yes, I’d like to live in many places
No, I’m ready to put down roots
I might move once or twice
Do you ever send naked selfies?
Yes
Yes, but only to someone I’m seriously dating
No, never
Blindfolds in bed:
Are hot if I’m wearing one
Are hot if my partner is wearing one
I could take them or leave them
Are not really my thing
Would you date someone still in the closet?
Yes
No
For a limited time
Are you turned on by feet?
Absolutely, I have a foot fetish
Sure, feet can be sexy sometimes
Nope
★ Are you turned on by sex in public?
Yes, but I would never do it myself
Yes, and I’m so down
No
★ Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
Yes, I’ve had several
Yes, I’ve had one or two
No, I keep my friends and relationships separate
★ Is the US educational system designed to benefit the rich?
Yes
No
★ How important is it for you to help give your partner an orgasm?
Very important
Somewhat important, but it’s not everything
Not very important
★ Do you support the Women’s March?
Yes, absolutely
No, but I get it
Absolutely not
How do you feel about golden showers?
They’re a turn on
Maybe, I could be convinced
Not for me, I’m a germaphobe
Can’t, I might run for office one day
Is squirting sexy?
Yes
No
Excuse me?
Would you introduce someone you’ve started seeing casually to your friends?
Yes
No, I like to keep my dating life private
Maybe, it depends on the person
Should there be stricter laws regulating harassment/bullying online?
Yes
No, we have a right to free speech
I don’t know
After you stop seeing someone romantically, do you stay friends with them on social media?
No, I like to have a clean break
Yes, I don’t mind staying connected
Do you think big is beautiful?
Yes
No
★ Should bathrooms be gender neutral?
Yes
No
★ Is mansplaining a thing?
Yes, and it’s awful
Yes, but it’s not a big deal
Nope, not a thing
Who should pay for Plan B?
Me
My partner
I’m against Plan B
★ Would you consider yourself a feminist?
Yes
No
To some extent
Would you ever consider making a sex video with your partner?
Yes, and I have
Yes, and I’d like to try
Nope, not for me
How long after you’ve started dating someone do you follow them on social media?
Before we’ve met in person
After the first couple of dates
Not until we’re in a relationship
I’m not into social media
★ Do you need a creative outlet (to play an instrument, paint, write, etc)?
Yes, I need a way to express myself
Sometimes, but I could live without it
I’m fine without one
Do you ever ghost someone (cut off contact without warning) after meeting in person?
No, never
Sometimes I might
Yes, it’s just easier
Did you vote in the last election?
Yes
No
★ When it comes to sex, are you GGG (Good, Giving, and Game)?
Hell yea
Kind of, but I have my limits
Not so much
I don’t know what this means
★ Are you texty before you meet someone from a dating app in person?
Yes, it’s a good way to get to know someone
Minimally, just to make plans
No, I’d rather meet in person first
★ Do you have a side hustle (sideline to bring in extra cash)?
Yes
No
★ Would an immigration ban that targets Muslims make the country safer?
Yes, and we should enforce one
Maybe, but we shouldn’t enforce one
No
Do you have student debt?
Yes, I’ll be paying it off until I die
Yes, but it’s manageable
No, I paid it off
No, I never had it
★ Trump?
Hell No
No
Yes
Hell Yes
★ Are traditional gender roles important in a romantic relationship?
Yes
No, they’re outdated
★ Are you flaky (i.e. cancel plans at the last minute)?
No, I take my commitments very seriously
Sometimes I cancel, but I give advanced notice
Sometimes I cancel at the last minute
Honestly, I flake a lot
★ Should the government defund Planned Parenthood?
Yes
No
I don’t know
★ Should we be fighting to close the gender wage gap?
Definitely, it’s ridiculous there’s a discrepancy
It’s not top priority
What wage gap?
I don’t care
★ Are you open to a casual relationship (i.e. more than a hookup, less than a significant other)?
Yes, I’m open to casual
Yes, but only if my partner were reliable
No
★ People who were scared shitless after the 2016 US election:
Don’t know what’s good for them
Are totally over exaggerating
I get it, but I wasn’t
I was one of them
Swipe culture in dating apps?
Makes dating easy
I don’t love it but I tolerate it
I dislike it
★ Should the US build a wall between the US & Mexico?
Yes, no matter what
Yes, but only if Mexico pays for it
Yes, but only if Mexico doesn’t pay for it
100% No
★ Is climate change real?
Yes
No
Which is more important right now?
Advancing in my career
Finding a relationship
★ Should abortion be legal?
Absolutely
Absolutely not
Sometimes, it depends
★ Did you Feel the Bern?
Yes
No
Just a light bern
I don’t know what this means
★ Would you consider being part of a throuple (a three person couple)?
Absolutely
Maybe, I could be convinced
Absolutely not
★ Do you believe guns should be allowed in schools?
Yes, always
Sometimes, it depends
No, never
★ Do you ever Skype/call/video chat a date you met online before meeting up in person?
Yes, I prefer to chat digitally before meeting
Sometimes
Maybe, if someone asked me to
Never
★ Do you smoke?
Yes
No
Rarely
Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. As far as you’re concerned, how long will it take before you have sex?
1-2 dates
3-5 dates
6 or more dates
Only after the wedding
My hair is usually…
Very well groomed.
Given a good combing.
Intentionally unruly or unkempt.
Left untouched.
Have you ever cosplayed? (Dressed up as a comic/anime character)
Yes
No, and I wouldn’t be interested
No, but it sounds cool
Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)?
Yes, no matter what
Yes, unless otherwise specified
No, it’s not necessary
Anything that becomes a requirement for a partner becomes a rule thats meant to be broken.
No, I’d prefer not to communicate daily
Do you carry condoms?
Always
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
Would receiving a massage from someone, whom you find very attractive, arouse you sexually?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Regardless of future plans, what’s more interesting to you right now?
Sex
Love
★ Are you a people person?
Yes
No
In terms of sex, how experienced would your ideal mate be (with people other than you)?
Innocent (virgin)
Slightly experienced
Moderately experienced
Very experienced
If you had a sexual fantasy that you know your partner is turned off by, would you bring it up anyway or keep it to yourself?
I’d bring it up anyway.
I’d keep it to myself.
Do you enjoy discussing politics?
Yes
No
★ Do you prefer hardcore or softcore when it comes to your porn?
Hard!
Soft!
Both!
I don’t like porn
Is is important that your match be somewhat internet savvy?
Yes
No
★ If you were to get married, would you want your partner to change his or her last name to yours?
Yes.
No.
I would want them to make their own decision.
How clear to you are your goals in life?
Very clear.
Somewhat clear.
Not at all clear.
Do you like the taste of beer?
Yes
No
Would you consider having a relationship with someone who is married, but no longer has sex with their spouse?
Yes
No
Are you squeamish about sharing food or beverages with the person you’re dating?
Yes
No
Only at first
Do you like holding hands?
Yes
No
Do you feel obligated to help your fellow human beings?
Yes
No
How important is voting to you?
Extremely important
Very important
Not so important
Not at all important
If you were walking outside, would you try to avoid stepping on any insects that cross your path?
Yes.
No.
Actually, I step on as many as possible.
★ When you draw a picture, write a poem, or otherwise do something creative, are you shy about letting other people see it?
Sometimes
Rarely
Often
If I’m still learning the required skills
How often do you masturbate?
Once a day or more
A few times a week
A few times a month
A few times a year or less
Do you examine the nutritional information for the food you buy in stores?
Always.
Sometimes.
Never.
Which describes you better?
Confrontational
Non-confrontational
Which is worse: being too much of a dreamer or too cynical?
too much of a dreamer
too cynical
Do you own any sexy underwear?
Yes
No
Are you a pet person?
Yes
No
Do you like to burn incense in your home?
Yes.
No.
I’ve never burnt incense in my home before.
★ Do you think men who are sitting down should stand up when a woman comes to the table/enters the room?
Yes / Usually
No / Not usually
If you really clicked with someone online and were meeting them in person, how would you greet them when you met them?
Say hi / shake their hand
Give them a friendly hug
Give them a kiss on the cheek
Start making out with them almost immediately
Do you like to wear a costume for Halloween?
Yes
No
How often do you have trouble sleeping at night?
Always.
Frequently.
Rarely.
Never.
Do you enjoy watching movies with subtitles?
Yes
No
Do you like to go clubbing?
Yes, I prefer to go alone.
Yes, I prefer to go with a date.
Yes, I prefer to go with friends.
No, I do not like to go clubbing.
Would you rather have your dream job or your soul mate for the rest of your life?
Dream Job
Soul Mate
Is it important that humans go to Mars?
Yes
No
★ Should a business be able to deny service to a customer if they feel a customer’s request conflicts with their religious beliefs?
Yes
No
★ Should illegal immigrants have access to government-subsidized healthcare?
Yes
Yes, but only for life threatening emergencies
No
★ Should immigrants be required to learn the official language of the country they are living in?
Yes
No
Should the government be allowed to use enhanced interrogation techniques when dealing with potential terrorists?
Yes
No
Should the government require children to be vaccinated for preventable diseases?
Yes
No
★ ______ Lives Matter
Black
All
I’m not familiar with these movements / no opinion
★ How do you feel about laws which block transgender individuals from using public bathrooms that match their gender identity?
They’re discriminatory
They’re necessary
Could you date someone with a significant Taoist lean in their outlook on life?
Yes, I love the Tao Te Ching.
Sure, why not?
No, they’d be too laid back.
What the hell is Taoism?
Regardless of your actual age, do you consider yourself to be an adult?
Yes.
No.
Only some of the time.
Which superpower would you rather have?
Flight
Invisibility
★ Are you a workaholic?
Yes
No
Not a workaholic doesn’t equal laziness
Are you better with numbers or words?
Numbers
Words
Both equally
Are you a beer snob?
Yes
No
Not usually, but some beers I won’t touch.
I don’t drink.
What is your preferred cuddling position?
Big spoon
Small spoon
All spoons
Which is more important to you: Developing yourself or developing friendships?
Self development.
Developing friendships.
At this point, are you physically able to have children?
Yes / I think so
No
When I go out to eat, I go to a large chain restaurant:
Exclusively
Sometimes
Once in a while
Never
What style in clothes would you wear most of the time, if you could?
Loose and comfortable
Tight and sexy
Clean and formal
Do you ever intentionally try to make people angry just to see how they react?
Yes
No
Taking everything into account, do you think the world is a better place than it was thirty years ago?
Yes, it is better now.
No, it evens out to be about the same.
No, in fact, it is worse now.
Do you find very outgoing people annoying?
Yes
No
Which is more useful to you: street smarts or book smarts?
Street smarts.
Book smarts.
Imagine that a friend sets you up on a blind date that sounds like a perfect match, except for one problem: the date neither speaks nor understands any languages that you do. This is:
A deal breaker. The date gets called off.
A pretty big issue, but I’d still go on the date.
Awesome!
Motorcycles are…
Good transportation / fun.
Good for others but not for me.
Bad and should be outlawed.
Not interesting.
Do you believe that a major goal of educational systems should be to make people “better members of society”?
Yes
No
★ Do you think people are capable of being in long term relationships with one person?
Yes
No
I can’t decide
How would you describe your body?
Slender
Average
Athletic
Voluptuous
★ Where would you prefer to live?
Big city (urban)
Suburbs
Small town
The country / middle of nowhere
Which makes for a better first date?
Coffee and chit-chat
Drinks and making out
★ Should wealthier people pay higher taxes?
Yes
Too many people say no this; too many people I don’t want to meet.
No
Do you think humans have enough respect for the Earth’s other species?
Yes, too much
Yes, about right
No
Do you dress up for Halloween almost every year?
Yes
No
★ Can you think of someone that you truly hate, not just severely dislike?
Yes
No
Do you use foul language?
Yes
No
How important is it that your partner is shaved/groomed downstairs?
SHAVE IT ALL OFF!!!!!!
As long as it is neat I am happy.
Natural is better!
I don’t know/ I don’t care
If you found out that your significant other had been in pornographic films, which of the following most closely describes your reaction?
Repulsion
Arousal
Indifference
Do you believe that alcoholism is a disease?
Yes
No
Do you ever ignore people?
Yes
No
If your partner pulled out a gram of cocaine and a mirror, how would you react?
Hallelujah, where’s my credit card?
I might take a few bumps.
No thanks, the 80’s are so over.
We are so over.
Do you usually wash your hands before every meal?
Yes
No
Do you believe that it is possible for two previously platonic friends to start having casual sex without affecting other aspects of their relationship?
Yes
No
How do you feel about crystal healing?
I think it works.
I think it’s a load of crap.
I respect these beliefs, but it’s not for me.
I’m not sure.
How often do you wear underwear?
Always
Usually
Rarely
Never
Would you sign a prenup?
Yes
No
Do you dream of traveling the world or are you happy where you are?
Where’s my ticket?
I’m fine where I am, thanks
Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid?
Yes
No
Is it possible for someone to really be ‘too nice’?
Yes
No
★ How do you take your coffee?
Black
With cream and/or sugar
A venti caramel soy macchiato …
Put that coffee down! Coffee is for closers only.
★ Do you have a problem with racist jokes?
Yes
No
★ Do you like girls with tattoos?
Yes
No
I could care less
Its incredibly sexy
Do you enjoy giving oral sex?
Love it!
It’s okay.
Not so much.
Gross!
Are spirituality and religion one and the same?
Yes
No
Do you make your bed most days?
Yes
No
★ Do you think it is possible for someone to be an Atheist and still have a solid moral framework by which to live?
Yes
No
You’re getting ready for work and your lover wants to get frisky. Does this annoy you?
Typically yes
Typically no
It is your first visit to your date’s home. You discover that the decor is dominated by the display of numerous action figures. What is your reaction?
Awesome, let’s play!
Fine, so long as they don’t expect me to play.
It’s me or the toys.
Leave and never look back.
Does it bother you when people sing the wrong words to a popular song?
Yes
No
Have you ever written something on the wall of a public toilet?
Yes
No
Do you have experience being in a slave/master relationship?
Yes
No
What’s worse on a first date?
No physical attraction
Trying to think of a way to reveal during a ‘great conversation’ that I find a date to be unattractive without killing it. I mean unless it’s a dark, crude and ribald conversation and can sustain that candor kind of ‘great’, maybe they have pheromones…
Nothing to talk about
★ When in a relationship, what importance do you place upon celebrating weekly or monthly anniversaries?
High.
Moderate.
Low.
None.
People really celebrate weekly anniversaries? That would be 39 weekly, 11 monthly celebrations and 1 yearly celebration in a year.
★ If married, when would you expect your partner to wear a wedding ring?
Most or all of the time.
Some of the time. It’s situation dependent.
Seldom or not at all.
Only when they want to.
If asked, would you share the password to your email account with a significant other?
Yes
No
★ What are you eating preferences?
Vegan – Nothing that even comes from an animal
Vegetarian – I’ll eat certain animal products.
Carnivore – Meat, Meat, Meat. That’s it.
Omnivore – Balanced meal.
How often do you tell your platonic friends that you love them?
Almost every time I see them.
Occasionally.
Never.
Would you date someone who is allergic to animal fur?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
How much would you enjoy hosting a big, crazy party?
A lot
Not that much
Not at all
On a typical night, what time do you go to sleep?
By 9pm
By 11pm
By 1am
Later
What size party would you prefer to attend?
Just a few close friends.
5-20 people.
20-100 people.
More than 100 people.
★ Improvisational theatre:
I improvise!
I like to watch
I can take it or leave it
Please, no
Are you currently employed?
Yes, I have a fulltime job
No
I have a part-time job
I’m a student
How many books do you own?
Less than 5
5-25
25-50
I lived with two book hoarders in the past. I appreciate reading but with having more than 50 books, it is likely that more than 50 books are sitting untouched on a shelf, and collecting dust throughout the year.
50+
Which, on you, is closest to perfection?
Your mind
Your body
Your wallet
Your soul
How often do you brush your teeth?
Twice or more a day
Once a day
Only on days I feel like it
Rarely / never
Do you cry more than twice a year?
Yes
No
Are you physically strong?
Yes, very
Average
No, not really
★ How important is it to you that your partner takes care of their body (ie: working out, maintaining a healthy and attractive physique)?
not important
somewhat important
very important
mandatory
Would you say your actions are guided more by your head or your heart?
Head
Heart
Genitalia
Would you date someone who’s smart but achieved nothing in life?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy Rap/Hip-Hop?
Yes
No
Some
If you were really, really drunk, which of the following would you be more likely to do?
Kiss someone.
Hit someone.
Complain to someone.
I’m not sure / I’ve never been really drunk.
How many live plants do you have in your home?
None.
One or two.
Succulent, succulent, herb
Three to nine.
Ten or more.
Have you ever been fired from a job?
Yes
No
Could you date a stripper?
Yes
No
★ Imagine you hit it off online and arrange to meet someone several days in advance. At the last minute, they cancel, explaining that they are simply too tired. Would you consider rescheduling?
Yes, I’d try to arrange it.
Yes, but only if they asked me.
No.
That implies more about their personality than their personal interest (or disinterest).
★ If you had to pick one of the following types for a significant other, which would it be?
Wholesome
A little on the slutty side
Crazy and colorful
Dark and mysterious
If a woman burps out loud, that is…
Cool
Uncool
★ Do you like wild parties?
Yes
No
Would you prefer to find someone who will shake your life up or make it more peaceful?
Shake it up.
Make it more peaceful.
Are you a Submissive/Bottom or Dominant/Top?
Submissive/Bottom
Dominant/Top
Switch with a S/B preferance
Switch with a D/T preferance
Do you often make jokes that offend more uptight people?
Yes
No
★ Would you consider having a serious relationship with an active porn star?
Yes
No
Do you only date people with athletic and toned bodies?
Yes
No
Do you think the International Space Station would be a romantic place to travel to with a partner to exchange vows?
Yes
No
Do you have all of your teeth?
Yes
No
Some are replacements, but they look real
What is your opinion of sarcasm?
I like it or love it
It’s okay
Sarcasm is formulaic and lazy
★ Could you date someone who is/was any sort of sex worker?
Sure, I’d be okay with that.
No way!
Depends… what kind of sex worker?
The very notion of this question offends me.
Women-what is your dress size?/ Men- what is your shirt size? (ie. US sizes)
dress size “0-4” / shirt size “Smal
dress size “6-8” / shirt size “Medi
dress size “10-12” / shirt size “La
dress size “14+” / shirt size “2X-L
Which most closely describes how you organize your sock drawer?
I pair them before I put them away.
I pair them when I get dressed.
I have them paired and organized by color.
I take them out of the laundry when I dress.
Would you develop a new hobby/cultivate a new interest just to have something in common with your partner?
Sure, it’s good to do stuff together
No, we should maintain our own identities
Maybe, but only if it seemed cool
How tall are you?
shorter than 5’6 / 1.67m
5’6 / 1.67m – 5’9 / 1.75m
5’9 / 1.75m – 6′ / 1.83m
taller than 6′ / 1.83m
What are your feelings about Cilantro?
I like it
I can take it or leave it
I don’t like it
Preferred position: are you a top or a bottom?
Top
Bottom
Versatile
I’m not sure.
Top or bottom?
Top
Bottom.
It depends.
You’re riding along in a friend’s car when he or she throws some trash out the window. How might you react?
I’d express my clear disapproval.
I’d make a disapproving sound or joke.
I wouldn’t really care.
I’d throw my own trash out the window, too.
★ How much time do you spend going to ballgames and following sports teams?
Every waking minute. Love me, love my teams.
Once or twice a week.
Once or twice a month.
I could give a royal flying fuck about sports.
Do you think it’s wrong to use someone’s wi-fi without permission?
Yes.
No.
It is only wrong if it requires hacking.
How much communication is ideal during sex?
A lot! It’s all about the talk.
Just enough to get things right.
None. Shut up so I can concentrate.
Could you do 25 pushups without stopping?
Yes
No
★ You’re walking around in public and you see a very attractive member of your preferred sex. You walk a little faster to get a better look and you see them light and take an elegant puff of a cigarette. What is your reaction?
Intrigue/Interest/Positive feeling
Disgust/Disappointment/Negative feeling
Indifference
Underarms can be a hairy subject. How do you maintain your pits?
I let it grow, wild & free!
Occasionally I’ll trim.
I shave consistently.
Whatever I feel like at the time.
Do you have a fetish that you would like to employ in your next relationship?
Yes, and you can find out more on my profile
Yes, but I’m not saying it out in the open
Not really / Not sure
No
Would you allow your partner to decide what you wear to bed?
Yes, always.
Yes, sometimes.
No, never.
Is it possible for you to like someone whom you don’t respect?
Yes
No
Can you name any ballet other than the Nutcracker?
Yes
No
Do you eat dinner after 10pm?
Regularly.
Sometimes.
Rarely.
No.
If something you own breaks, which is closest to your first reaction?
Replace it.
Pay someone to fix it.
Figure out how to fix it myself.
Forget about it.
French new wave films?
Cool
Uncool
Huh?
Are “trendy” and “hip” insults to you?
Yes
No
Top or bottom?
Top
Bottom
Both
Are you a collector of things?
Yes, I have many collections.
Yes, I have some collections.
Yes, I have one collection.
No, I do not collect anything.
If a blind date used a coupon while paying for dinner, how would you feel?
Negative. That’s tacky/cheap.
Positive. Very sensible.
I don’t care either way.
Do you work at your job because you care, or because you want a check?
Care. The check is secondary.
Check. I don’t care about my job.
Both. Love the job, love paying the bills.
I don’t work.
Have you ever done something reckless that resulted in a major injury? (broken bones, etc.)
Yes
No
If someone intentionally damaged your property, would you be more likely to call the police, or to fight them?
Call the police
Fight them
Could you date someone with no long-term goals?
Yes
No
★ Once you’re intimate, how often would you and your significant other have sex?
Every day
About every other day
Once or twice a week
A few times a month or less
★ You’re up against a nearly impossible challenge. Your ideal partner…
pushes you hard to succeed
reminds you to be realistic
stands back, but comforts you if you fail
If you were involved in a serious relationship, at which of the following points would you begin looking for new potential partners?
When the relationship was not going well.
When I was certain the relationship was ending.
After the relationship was formally terminated.
All of the time.
In a serious relationship, do you feel it’s important to keep your significant other informed of the details of your day-to-day life?
Yes
No
Not every day
★ You’re out on the street and you encounter some people speaking a foreign language. What’s your reaction?
You’re in our country; speak our language!
No big deal.
Cool, what language are they speaking?
(in their language) Hi, how are you?
I prefer to sleep…
Alone
With my partner, but apart (not touching)
Touching my partner
Embracing / cuddling my partner
How important is it for your partner to have many friends?
Very Important
Important
Somewhat Important
Not Important
Which word describes you better?
Private
Social
★ How often do you wear cologne or perfume?
Every day
3 times a week
Once or twice a week
Never
★ Which characteristic is most attractive in a date?
They’re sleek, sophisticated and well-styled
They’re provocative, daring and unexpected
They’re sexy in a way I can’t quite pin down
Would you date someone who was only interested in a committed, long-term relationship?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Do you have time for a committed relationship in your life at this point?
Yes, absolutely
Probably not
No
Do you have a favorite scent?
Yes, and it doesn’t change.
Yes, but I change it every once in awhile.
No, but I’m searching for one.
No.
Is it possible for your partner to reveal too much information?
Yes, I prefer a little bit of mystery
Maybe, I want to know all the important stuff
No, I want to know everything
★ Would you buy your partner perfume or cologne as a gift?
Yes, a scent I love.
Yes, a scent that they love.
No, I wouldn’t give it as a gift.
Which is scarier to reveal to a new partner?
Your emotions
Your body
Neither
Both equally
Who are you most likely to reveal a dark, provocative secret to?
My friends
My partner
A family member
No one… I keep my secrets to myself.
When you hear the name Dylan what is the first to come to mind?
Bob Dylan
Dylan Thomas
90210
Something or someone else / Nothing
★ How messy are you?
I’m very messy
I’m average
I’m mostly organized
I’m compulsively neat
How often do you give Facebook updates?
All the time
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
How are your teeth?
Perfect
Okay
Kinda Scraggly
Fucked Up
Imagine being all alone in the great outdoors, miles from anyone, with no communication device. Nobody knows where you are.
This is something I would like.
This is something I would avoid.
Would you go on a first date to a nude beach?
Yes
No
Even if it isn’t your personal style, would you dress accordingly to a partner’s wishes, just to make them happy during an outing?
Yes, without question.
Yes, within reason.
No.
Do you have a living will?
Yes
No
How many times do you usually hit the snooze button on your alarm clock?
Zero. I get up immediately when the alarm sounds
One or two times
Three or more times
I do not usually use an alarm clock to wake up
Do you think you have what it takes to be a successful actor or actress?
Yes
No
How many romantic partners have you lived with?
0
1
2-3
4+
Toilet Seat, up or down?
Up.
Down.
Whatever my partner wishes.
Either is fine with me.
Do you believe that people should take a parental fitness test before being allowed to reproduce?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Only Convicted Felons
Would it be a good idea to pass a law requiring people to take a course and pass a test before being allowed to have a child?
Yes
No
Your lover doesn’t like one of your friends! You have to choose!
Lose your friend
Lose your lover
I’m Not Sure
Have you ever seen ghosts, spirits, aliens, or witnessed some kind of paranormal activity?
Yes
No
Which of the following forms of poetry best resembles what you desire in a relationship?
A Sonnet – Controlled, deliberate, and surprising
A Haiku – Short, simple, and vivid
An Epic – Long, meandering, and powerful
Free Verse – Wild, shifting, and confusing
Have your sexual interests become kinkier as you’ve grown older?
Yes.
No, they haven’t changed much.
No, just the opposite.
No, I have no sexual interests.
Should your mate also become your best friend?
Yes
No
Did you have a dysfunctional upbringing?
Yes, very much so.
Being locked in a basement, albeit a large basement as a kid would make anyone a little wacky.
Yes, to some extent.
No, not at all.
Suppose a close friend’s partner is very attractive and thinks you’re attractive, too. If you could enjoy a few hours of sex with them and your friend would never find out about it, would you do it?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Have you ever “regifted” a gift you didn’t like?
Yes
No
Pick the best date on this list:
A really nice restaurant
A really divey bar
A day at the beach
Does your ideal schedule involve staying up very late at night and sleeping during the day?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who is much kinkier than you are?
Yes
No
Are you a ‘double dipper’? In other words, do you ever take a bite of food and then dip it back into a shared sauce or dip?
Yes, I double dip indiscriminately.
Yes, but only with family or close friends.
Yes, but only with a partner.
No, never.
Would you consider attending a clothing-optional costume party where the dress code permits guests to wear nothing more than body paint?
Yes, and I’d be wearing little more than paint.
Yes, but I’d wear a more traditional costume.
No.
Which horror movie would you be most likely to survive?
Nightmare on Elm Street (I can go without sleep)
Hellraiser (I don’t care how cool that box is)
Blair Witch Project (I’d set that forest on fire!)
This is a stupid question
★ How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
I’m ready when I wake up
Less than 1 hour
1 – 2 hours
2 hours or more
Which one would hurt you more?
A lover cheating on you
A thief stealing from you
A friend ruining your good name
None of these would affect me
Do you wash your sheets regularly?
Yes
No
I don’t even use sheets
Do you consider yourself financially responsible?
Yes, completely.
Yes, mostly.
I’m working on it!
No.
Do you work out a lot?
Yes
No
You’ve been on a couple of dates with someone, but you’re not too into them. However, they like you, and keep calling/texting. What do you do?
Talk, explain your (lack of) feelings.
Tell them you’ll call later but then don’t.
Don’t answer/ignore them.
In a relationship communication is key…
True; but I don’t call everyday
True; our lives should be shared
False; We all need space
False; Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Do you lift weights?
Yes
No
Could you date someone who wasn’t sure what they wanted to do with their life?
Yes
No
Are you smarter than absolutely everyone you’ve ever dated?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who uses profanity more than not in everyday speech?
Yes
No
★ What are your opinions on tattoos?
Fine with heavily/moderately covered skin
Just a few are alright
Not ideal but okay
None at all
Would you rather be omnipotent (all-powerful) or omniscient (all-knowing)?
Omniscient; give me knowledge.
Omnipotent; give me power.
Do you find British comedies entertaining?
They’re all I watch.
I like them quite a bit!
Kind of, but I’d rather watch something else.
Not at all.
Imagine you’re on a date with someone you really like and you decide to go to their place for the first time. Their place turns out to be a pigsty. Your reaction?
Goodnight and goodbye.
Grin and bear it.
Dive in and start scrubbing.
I’d feel right at home.
★ Would you engage in a threesome?
Yes
No
Only with the opposite sex
Only with the same sex
How often do you hang out at coffee shops / cafes?
Two or more times a week.
From once a month to once a week.
Less than once a month.
Never.
In a man is size important? or being able to have average size and being able to use it. or it does not matter at all either way?
size
moving it to the waves
both
does not matter at all
Does the idea of being attractive enough to manipulate people appeal to you?
Yes
No
Do you look better dressed or naked?
Dressed
Naked
Would you like to live in a small community where everyone lives and works together, and where all property and possessions are owned collectively?
Yes.
No.
Perhaps, depending upon the specifics.
I already do!
Would you rather date someone very fit/trim, but obsessed with body image and who can’t stop talking about working out; or someone more laid back about body image, but a little more pudgy/unfit?
fit and obsessed
unfit and relaxed
★ Would you ever eat something out of the trash?
Yes
Maybe (if it’s still good)
No
What would be more likely to bother you in a relationship?
Not enough space
Not enough affection
If you could have brilliant skill at something, would you prefer:
Something practical
Something fun
★ Does the idea of flipping a coin to make important life decisions appeal to you?
Yes
No
You’ve been dating someone for a few months, and things are going well. Really well. One day they ask you to get matching tattoos. How do you respond?
Agree. Why not?
Agree to get tattoos together, but not matching
Decline, but suggest something else to do together
Decline, and reconsider the relationship
Do you enjoy meaningless sex?
Yes
No
Imagine that your partner does not enjoy performing oral sex and refuses to ever perform it on you. How disappointed would you be?
Extremely disappointed.
Somewhat disappointed.
Slightly disappointed.
Not at all disappointed.
How do you eat your cupcake?
Always start with frosting
Always starts with the cake
I don’t have a consistent way of eating a cupcake
Can you cook?
Yes, I’m a culinary genius.
Yes, with a cook book.
No, but I try.
No, there’s always fast food.
“It’s not that I’m lazy; it’s that I just don’t care.” Does this statement apply to you?
Yes
In groups, think of Daria playing volleyball.
No
Is it easier to love or to hate?
Love
Hate
What do you find most appealing in a television series, movie, or book?
Compelling action, drama, or total immersion.
Having empathy for the characters.
Underlying message or commentary.
Creativity by the actors or film makers.
Have you ever cheated on an exam?
Yes
No
Would you ever date or mess around with a good friend’s ex?
Yes, why not?
No
Yes, but only with my friend’s permission
★ On a scale from 1-4, how would your partner having tattoos affect you?(we’re talking 3 or more, not just 1 or 2)
1: They’re HOT and/or I have a few myself!
2: Not for me, but they are just fine on others
3: Not preferred, but as long as he/she is happy
4: I dislike tattoos; 1 is fine but more is gross
★ Have you used psychedelic drugs (LSD, mescaline, peyote, etc.) or would you like to?
Yes, I have used psychedelic drugs
No, I have not used them and I would not try them
No, I have not used them but I would try them
How important is it to you to have your own unique thing (like a weekly girls’ night or guys’ night) that you don’t share with your partner?
Very – I need some me time to be happy
Sort of – I need friends outside of my partner
Not much – I like sharing stuff with my partner
I’d prefer not to have exclusive things
Do you own or ride a motorcycle?
Yes
No
In an ideal world, who would get the highest priority in your life?
My parents.
My children.
My significant other.
Myself.
Are you a fan of the works of Ayn Rand?
Yes, for her philosophy.
Yes, for their literary value.
No.
Who?
Do trees have souls?
Yes
No
Do you think boys should be circumcised?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Would you date someone shorter than you?
Yes
No
Do you think you have ESP at all?
Yes
No
Which sounds like a more appealing way to spend a year?
Travelling the world, working along the way.
Living in one city with all expenses paid.
★ How much do you spend per year for shoes?
Less than $100
$101 – $500
$501 – $1000
More than a $1000
Where do you primarily get the books you read?
Library.
Bookstore / Online.
Friends.
I don’t read books.
Is it okay for someone to try and influence their romantic partner’s appearance or clothing?
Couples should try to look good for each other
As long as it’s not extreme and they ask nicely
They shouldn’t try to change their partner
Demands create weird power struggles
How would you feel about a partner self-stimulating while you are performing oral sex?
Insulted.
Excited.
Indifferent.
I’m not sure.
After dating someone for a while, you finally get to see where they live. They leave you alone to go take a quick shower. Would you snoop?
Yes
No
On a daily basis, do you spend a lot of time trying to make yourself look good?
Yes
No
How often do you send greeting cards for holidays and birthdays?
Always
Sometimes
Never
Have you ever been to prison?
Yes
No
Just to visit / I was working
Cell phones: good or evil?
Good
Evil
Would you date someone who states up front that they will never be willing to go dancing?
Yes
No
Imagine you’re at an art gallery and you see a canvas painted solid red. It is selling for more money than you make in a year. Which of the following would be closest to your reaction?
I’d like to know more about its meaning.
The price is outrageous.
I could have painted that myself.
It’s really pleasing to look at.
★ How much do you go “clubbing” (out dancing in bars)?
Lots
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
Would you—for any reason—read your mate’s email or pose as them online, without their knowledge and permission?
Yes, they shouldn’t be keeping secrets anyway.
Yes, I’d be too curious not to.
Only if I suspected them of something.
No, I’d trust them and that would be invasive.
How long do your romantic relationships usually last?
0-6 months
6-12 months
12+ months
I’ve never been in a relationship
How would you react if someone IM’d you and quickly started talking about sex?
Positively.
Negatively.
Indifferently.
Do you feel like you’re still hurting from something that happened to you a long time ago?
Yes
No
Approximately how many hours per week do you dedicate to spiritual activity?
Zero.
One hour or less.
One to four hours.
More than four hours.
For which emotion is self-restraint the most crucial?
Anger
Fear
Lust
Jealousy
Which is a bigger deal for you?
Telling someone you really care
Oral sex
Wearing socks with sandals is:
Perfectly fine.
Utterly wrong.
Okay sometimes.
Not a subject I have an opinion on.
Is your second toe longer than your big toe?
Yes
No
★ On a scale of 1 to 8, with 1 being exclusively straight and 8 exclusively gay, where do you fall?
1-2
3-4
5-6
7-8
Which of the following could you most easily live without for an entire month?
Toothbrush and toothpaste.
Phone.
Internet.
Porn.
★ Is Jesus Christ your personal savior?
Yes
No
If I ever get personally saved from a mythological god(dess), I would prefer it to be from cthulhu, eros or a sex god.
★ Someone in an open relationship asks you out on a date. You:
Refuse / Aren’t interested in open relationships
Are hesitant, but would consider it
Accept / Are open to non-monogamous relationships
★ Have you ever dated a man?
Yes
No
Do you have (or are you getting) a degree from one of the 8 ivy league universities, MIT, Stanford, Duke, U Chicago, or Caltech?
Yes
No
My degree is not from the U.S.
Do you find science to be interesting?
Yes – Hard Science (Biology, Chemistry, Physics).
Yes – Social Science (Psychology, Sociology).
Yes – Both are interesting.
No – None are interesting.
Who will be responsible for cooking the meals and cleaning the house? Assume you both work.
Me
My partner
We will split or take turns
Not my concern / Don’t care / Other
How often do you read before going to sleep?
Always.
Frequently.
Rarely.
Never.
How often do you do things out of spite?
Very often.
Sometimes.
Rarely.
Never.
Would you ever take your family to a nude beach?
Yes
No
Not ideally, but realistically, do you flock to the “bad” boys/girls?
Yes
No
Does the idea of living underwater fascinate you?
Yes
No
Generally speaking, are you a worrier?
Yes
No
Do you usually blurt things out, or do you think carefully before speaking?
Blurt it out
Think carefully
Would you allow a pet to sleep on your bed?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
How often do you meditate?
Frequently.
Rarely.
Never.
Would you rather be the performer, in the audience, or behind the scenes?
Performer
Audience
Behind the scenes
How many concerts do you attend a year?
8+
4-7
1-3
0, typically
★ When it comes to right and wrong, which of the following do you think has the greatest impact on your belief system?
Religion.
Family and/or friends.
Laws.
Foucault would suggest that we’re all conditioned by the laws that govern us.
Self interest.
Would you date someone who has genital herpes?
Yes
No
Do you have a desire (even if it’s secret) to take part in sexual activities involving bondage?
Yes
No
Absolutely not.
Other things being equal, would you be more attracted to an artist or a scientist?
Artist
Scientist
Is it more important to you that you are tactful, or truthful?
Tactful
Truthful
How do you feel about putting children on leashes?
I do not approve of this.
I approve of this.
I might approve under special circumtances.
I could not care less.
★ If I saw someone do something that deeply offended me or was illegal, I would:
Confront the person.
Do nothing, move on.
Alert someone with more power.
Blackmail the offender.
Do you think drug use with your partner can be a romantic activity?
Yes
No
Is global warming a serious problem?
Yes
Al Gore will kick you in the balls (or lady balls) if you say otherwise.
No
I don’t know
Is satanism acceptable?
Yes
I don’t know enough about this but it seems like it’s centered on religious trash, still embracing the pursuit of idols, the religion it’s condemning.
Sure, but it’s not for me
No, it is wrong.
I don’t know/care.
★ How do you like your coffee?
black
with cream or sugar
I prefer tea
no caffaine for me
Does it bother you when people are late?
Yes, always.
No, never.
Sometimes, it depends upon the circumstances.
Under the right circumstances, would you allow a partner to lick your anus?
Yes
No
Orgasms are clearly the most important part of sex.
I agree.
“I made it through the wilderness.” – Madonna
I disagree.
★ Do you find body hair attractive?
Yes
No
Depends on where the hair is
If you had children, would you be willing to support a significant other who stays home to raise them?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, depending upon the circumstances.
★ Ladies, when is a penis too big? Guys, how big is yours?
Less than 6″
6-7″
8-9″
10-12″
Would you like to go on a five night spiritual retreat?
Yes
No
Compassion is:
A sign of strength
A sign of weakness
Neither
Are you a Muslim?
Yes
No
Would dealing face to face with someone with an impediment (nervous facial tic, bad stutter) make you uncomfortable or frustrated?
Yes
No
Do you value humility?
Yes
No
Do you believe that courteous behavior, such as saying “thank you” or holding a door, is important even when the other person involved does not deserve it?
Yes
No
Imagine your otherwise perfect match has one habit that you find to be very unattractive, but it seems that they are trying to keep it private. Do you ask them to stop?
Yes.
No.
It depends on the specifics.
Do you think bodily fluids are inherently gross?
Yes
No
If you were with a person who doesn’t like to cook, would you take over this responsibility?
Yes.
No.
Only some of the time.
Are you annoyed by people who are super logical?
Yes
No
Suppose you’re driving, and you hit an animal. You don’t know how badly it’s hurt. Do you:
stop and look
keep going
★ Do you prefer to eat organic food?
Yes, as much as possible
I would, but it’s too expensive
Sometimes, if it’s easy to get
No / Don’t Care
Do you consider a person’s social class when you interact with them?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you and your ideal significant other enjoy making sarcastic jokes at each other’s expense, knowing that it’s all in good fun?
Yes! That’s a personality trait we have to share
Sometimes, but not too much
No, sarcasm doesn’t belong in a love relationship
I can’t dish it out, but I’d take it, I guess
Do you think it’s appropriate to “keep score” in a relationship, to ensure that favors and gifts are at least somewhat balanced?
Yes
No
Do you think the government has the right to regulate the ownership and use of weapons?
Yes
Only in extreme cases
No
I’m not sure
Watching cartoons as an adult is…?
Pathetic
Cool
I don’t care either way / Not sure
What’s a worse trait to have?
Greed
Laziness
If political candidates supported marijuana legalization, how would that affect your disposition toward voting for them?
I would be more likely to vote for them.
I would be less likely to vote for them.
This would not influence my vote.
Can two people fall in love without ever meeting in person?
Yes
No
Which of the following broad gender descriptions are you most attracted to?
Femininity.
Masculinity.
Androgyny.
No preference.
If you had to choose one, which type of cheating bothers you the most?
Cheating on a partner.
Cheating on a test.
Cheating on taxes.
Cheating does not bother me.
What is the first definition for the word “composition” that comes to mind?
The makeup of a mixture of ingredients
A piece of music
A piece of writing
An arrangement of visual elements
Would it ever be okay to break up with someone by email or text?
Yes
No
How often do you use social media?
I’m a very active user.
I’m a somewhat active user.
I rarely use it.
I never use it.
Assuming a given situation is truly hopeless, is it better to accept hopelessness or maintain hope?
Accept hopelessness.
Maintain hope.
If your own toothbrush was not available, would you feel comfortable using a partner’s toothbrush?
Yes.
No.
It depends on which partner.
Imagine your partner practices a religion you don’t understand. Do you take the time to learn about it?
Yes
No
If you meet someone and they are everything you are looking for, except their body type, do you give them a chance?
Yes
No
Would you enjoy going to an all night dance party?
Yes
No
Is the idea of being kissed in the rain a turn-on or turn-off?
On.
Off.
Do you believe in some kind of a spiritual, cosmic force outside the realm of most modern religion?
Yes
No
You and your partner are sharing your favorite dessert. Who gets the last bite?
I do.
They do.
Who cares?
Were you picked on a lot in school?
Yes
No
★ If I saw someone checking out my significant other, I’d feel:
flattered / proud
protective / concerned
unchanged
Do you often find yourself wondering What the hell was I thinking?
Yes, all the time.
Yes, sometimes.
No, never.
★ How do you feel about documentaries?
Yay!
Okay
NO.
Do you like watching foreign movies with subtitles?
Yes
No
Can’t answer without a subtitle
Which is worse?
Someone who is always happy
Someone who is always sad
Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?
Yes
No
★ If you saw a man knitting in public what would you think?
He’s gay.
He’s hot.
He’s just secure in his masculinity.
He’s weird.
Do you practice Hinduism?
Yes
No
What is your favorite transportation medium?
Land (trains, buses, cars, bikes, feet, etc.)
Sea (ships, boats, submarines, etc.)
Air (airplanes, rockets, dirigibles, etc.)
Other.
What kind of party would you rather throw?
Cocktail
Kegger
Dry
Orgy
Can you change a tire on your own?
Yes
No
How do you feel about kids?
Kids are precious—they love me and I love them
They’re okay, but keep the unruly ones at bay
How revolting
I’m indifferent
★ In terms of relationships, which of these is it the most important to find?
Someone for whom you would do anything.
Someone who turns you on.
Someone you feel like you’ve known forever.
Someone with goals similar to yours.
Would you consider living with a partner who does not want any pets?
Yes
No
Would you date someone who was looking for true love – but no sex, at all, ever?
Yes
No
Which would you rather choose: peace on Earth or loads of money?
Peace on Earth
Loads of money
Is it okay for you to be irrational in making important life decisions?
Yes
No
Do you have a hard time feeling happy when people around you are sad or upset?
Yes
Sometimes
No
I can do the rain dance during someone’s rainy day.
Are you fetish-friendly?
Bring out the toys!
Never tried it, but I’m open-minded.
Not sure/don’t know what they really are.
Ew!
How frequently do you bathe or shower?
At least once a day.
Usually daily. I skip some.
A couple times a week.
Once a week or less.
Are you either vegetarian or vegan?
Yes
No
Does your partner have to be an active reader?
Yes
No
★ Group sex (with 3 or more people)?:
I have tried it.
It seriously interests me.
I have little or no interest.
Do you think that smarter people are usually capable of deeper love?
Yes
No
Do you typically send thank you cards to people, when they do you favors?
Yes
No
★ How often should your significant other buy you gifts, jewelry, or other things more expensive than, say, dinner, cards, or flowers?
Very frequently.
From time to time.
On special occasions (birthdays, Christmas, etc)
Never.
Just be mindful that consumerism has been unnecessarily driven to be at the center of any holiday, anniversary, or romantic courtship. An action or something baked or hand-made is more appreciated than gold shoes.
Would you prefer to be a financial success or to remain true to your principles?
Financial success, please.
I’ll stick with my principles, thanks.
Do you believe that regular sex is necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship?
Yes
No
Do you think physical love is necessary for happiness in life?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy outdoor activities such as camping, hiking or fishing?
Yes
No
★ Which is closest to your reaction to foul language?
It doesn’t bother me at all.
It’s ok as long as it isn’t every other word.
Especially when I’m in Britain: Bloody fucking hell blah blah blah blah.
It bothers me a little.
It bothers me a lot.
Not including Halloween, do you enjoy dressing up in costumes?
Yes – Every chance I get.
Yes – On occasion.
I think that I might, but I do not.
No.
Could you date someone who already has children from a previous relationship?
Yes
No
Which of the following learning approaches would you prefer?
Doing and figuring it out myself.
Watching someone else do it.
Listening to someone explain how it’s done.
Reading about how it should be done.
★ Imagine that you have to move somewhere far away. You’ll need to pack all of your stuff and take it with you. All your things could fit nicely inside…
a couple of suitcases.
a car.
a big moving truck.
the Black Sea.
A date invites you to their home for the first time. You find their decor to be extremely tacky. How much would this bother you?
A lot.
A little.
Not at all.
Before people find out your real age, what do they usually assume? 20
That I’m younger than I really am.
That I’m older than I really am.
They are usually very close.
I haven’t noticed a pattern.
Have you ever ridden a horse?
Yes, and I enjoyed it.
Yes, but I did not like it.
No, but I would like to some day.
No, and I do not want to.
If you were to die, would whoever goes through your personal belongings be shocked by what they find?
Yes.
No.
I don’t think porn or abstract poetry is very shocking.
Maybe a little bit.
Have instant ramen noodles ever been your nutritional mainstay for more than 2 weeks?
Yes
No
If everyone on Earth stopped drinking alcohol, would this make the world a better place?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Overhearing a sexual encounter would make you feel…
Aroused
Annoyed
Lonely
Indifferent
Would you like to receive pain during sex?
Yes, lots and lots
Yes, some
No
Would you date a single parent?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy it when someone uses refrigerated items or ice cubes on you during sex?
Yes.
No.
I don’t know.
The fastest way to piss me off is to…
disagree with a strong opinion of mine
ignore me
interrupt me
indicate you dislike my friends
What is more important to humanity:
Establishing a Mars Colony
Uniting all governments into one
Curing most known diseases
Eliminating poverty
Which cause is most important to you?
The environment
World peace
The economy
Eradicating all diseases from the Earth
When are you most creative?
In the morning
In the afternoon.
In the evening.
In the middle of the night.
Does it bother you when someone regularly speaks in a loud voice?
Yes
No
Should cigarettes be illegal?
Yes
No
Do you space out or daydream a lot?
All the time
Rarely / never
Sometimes
Which is the smallest amount of money you would stop to pick up if you saw it laying in the street?
Penny
Nickel
Dime
A quarter or more.
Could you date someone who doesn’t speak your language very well?
Yes
No
What makes a better friend?
Quick wit and a mischievous smile
Compassionate nature and a shoulder to support you
Do you make an effort to appear intimidating to others?
Yes, always.
No, never.
Sometimes.
Have you ever brought a stray animal home?
Yes
No
Do you think head games are unavoidable, even in the healthiest of relationships?
Yes
No
★ Do you like to go to museums?
Yes, a lot
Yes, a little
No
Do you believe in karma?
Yes
No
Which is more important for a good match?
Having similar political beliefs
Having good sex
Would you prefer someone extremely mellow or extremely hyper?
Hyper
Mellow
I would rather be….
Unemployed, broke, but busy doing things I love
Working 60 hours a week at a job I like
Working regular hours at a job I hate
Would you and your ideal match eventually feel comfortable farting around each other?
Yes
No
Have you ever randomly followed a stranger because you found them attractive?
Yes
No
If you took nude photos of your lover, would you give them the prints and negatives (or destroy them) if you broke up?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you rather know everything about your mate, or be regularly surprised?
Surprised
All-knowing
★ If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?
Love
Wealth
Expression
Knowledge
When you are at the movies with your date or your friends, how much talking does it take to make you upset?
No talking allowed upon the start of the film
Talking during and usually about the trailers
Little comments during the movie.
Constant chatter, to you, others, or a cell phone
Do you consider yourself an artist of any kind? (Music, painting, poetry, etc. all count.)
Yes
No
Do you typically feel better or worse after a social gathering?
Better.
Worse.
No different.
It depends.
Manners are:
Important
Not very important
I fart on this question
Who do you think was smartest on this list?
Einstein
Shakespeare
Mozart
Jesus
Which makes for a better relationship?
Passion
Dedication
How would learning that a potential match has served in the military affect your interest in him or her?
I’d be more interested.
I’d be less interested.
It wouldn’t matter at all.
How important are your political beliefs to you?
Very important
Somewhat important
A little important
Not at all important
★ How into gay politics are you?
Very
Somewhat
Not at all
★ Are you attracted to dangerous situations?
Yes
No
Do you think you can tell how good someone is at sex by how they move on the dance floor?
Yes
No
Imagine your view on a controversial topic is very strong. You suspect it to be in direct opposition to that of your date’s parents, who you are just getting to know. Would you argue the issues with them?
Yes, at my first opportunity.
Yes, but only if they brought the topic up.
Yes, but only if my opinion was asked.
No, I would avoid the topic altogether.
Is it possible to agree to disagree on religious practices in a relationship?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ If you were going to have a child, would you want the other parent to be of the same ethnicity as you?
Yes.
No.
This would not be an important factor to me.
Do you enjoy being naked?
Yes
No
Are you still in love with one or more of your former partners?
Yes – One of them.
Yes – More than one.
No.
No – I’ve never been in love with a partner.
You go on a date with someone, and during the date you say you would like to go out again. The next day you change your mind. How do you let them know?
Call them and tell them you’ve changed your mind
Wait for them to call you, and then tell them
Ignore all of their calls/e-mails/faxes to you
Keep seeing them, but half-heartedly
Should people be allowed to use otherwise illegal drugs where doing so is consistent with their spiritual and/or religious beliefs?
Yes
No
★ If you could take only one of the following on a road trip, which would it be?
A map.
A camera.
A companion.
A journal to write in.
Imagine you’re having the perfect conversation with your ideal partner. What are you doing?
Telling stories
Debating
Agreeing
Making plans
★ Would you be willing to adopt a child?
Yes
No
I only want adopted children.
I don’t want children.
Generally, in life, what makes you happier?
Quality
Variety
Of the following, which do you find more fascinating?
The planets, stars, galaxies, etc.
High tech advancements.
Ancient civilizations.
The natural world, nature, wildlife.
Who would you prefer as a partner?
Someone just like me.
Someone who is very different from me.
Someone who complements me.
★ How’s your English vocabulary?
OK: bar, beer, party, & various cuss words
High-brow: harlot, pertinent, polyglot, imbibe
Copious: pulchritude, corvine, laconic, inveigh
Choate: flavid, callipygian, tonitruous, fremitus
Can anything be made the subject of a joke?
Yes, anything can be funny in the right light.
No, some subjects should not be joked about.
★ How important is religion/God in your life?
Extremely important
Somewhat important
Not very important
Not important at all
Should pharmacies be allowed to sell preparations that you can take to commit painless and effective suicide?
Yes, without restrictions.
Yes, but only if certain criteria are met.
No, of course not.
I’m not sure.
Do spelling mistakes annoy you?
Yes
No
★ Have you smoked a cigarette in the last 6 months?
Yes
No
How often do you wash your bath towel(s)?
After every use
Every couple uses
Occasionally / When it starts smelling
Rarely
Would you rather date someone extremely hot or extremely honest?
Extremely hot
Extremely honest
What do you usually wear when you sleep?
Pajamas.
Underwear.
Nothing.
Something else.
If a method were available that would cause the extinction of all mosquitoes on Earth, should it be used?
Yes
No
Which do you prefer in a significant other, generally speaking?
Dominance/Aggression
Submission/Shyness
A little of both, depending on the situation
Are you a Buddhist?
Yes
No
How many people would describe you as one of their ‘best’ friends, and really mean it?
0-1
2-4
5-7
8+
★ Immediately after having sex with a partner, which of the following sounds most appealing?
Cuddling with them.
Doing my own thing.
Sleeping.
Masturbating or having sex again.
A difficult, somewhat trying relationship where your opinions on many subjects are more often than not divergent, versus an easy relationship where you agree on nearly everything all the time.
Hard – life is defined by difficulty
Easy – why argue with the one you love?
I’m Not Sure
Life isn’t that black and white, bub!
How do you think your sex drive compares to what is typical for other people of your age and gender?
My sex drive is higher than average.
My sex drive is about average.
I consider an average sex drive to be one’s need for a release (whether through sex or masturbation) once every 18-30 hours, or about once a day. A ‘need’ for a release denotes chronic horniness until orgasm.
My sex drive is below average.
I’m insatiable.
Are you annoyed by tardiness?
Yes
No
I’m the one who’s always running late.
★ Would you consider dating someone who does not know how to drive a car?
Yes
…and people who know how to drive but choose not to.
No
Do you consider yourself to be a picky eater?
Yes
No
Would you date someone who was already in a committed relationship with someone else?
Yes, even in secret.
Yes, but only if everybody knew.
No, but I don’t think it’s inherently wrong.
No, it’s wrong.
Do you know what a ‘safeword’ is, in a sexual context?
Yes
No
Imagine a child is in hospital and needs life-saving treatment, but the child’s parents withold permission for the treatment for reasons based on their faith. Which do you think is better?
The parents wishes must be respected.
The state should intervene to save the child.
Have you ever camped out overnight more than a mile from civilization?
Yes, and I loved it
Yes, and I hated it.
I’ve never tried it, but I’d like to.
No camping, ever! I prefer civilization, thanks.
Are you generally able to forgive and forget?
Yes.
No.
It really depends on the circumstances.
I can forgive, but I never forget.
Is being “in-style” with regards to fashion important to you?
Yes, Extremely
Yeah, sometimes
Not really
No Way!
Do you think most people would prefer to be a lot more like you?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who is already involved in an open or polyamorous relationship?
Yes
No
Not date.
Have you been faithful in all of your past relationships?
Yes.
No.
I haven’t had a past relationship.
★ Do you like to leave music on while you sleep?
Yes. I can’t sleep without it.
Yes, but I don’t need it to fall asleep.
No, but I can deal with it if my partner does.
No. I can’t sleep with music on.
Would you want a partner to spend some time and effort toward improving their appearance?
Yes
No
BDSM: Without looking it up, do you know exactly what it stands for?
Yes
No
Two people both like you. One is more fun, the other is more stable.
I’d play my nights and days away – FUN!
I’m looking for something a serious – STABLE
Would you consider dating someone who is completely nocturnal?
Yes
No
★ Should evolution and creationism be taught side-by-side in school?
Yes, students should hear both sides
No, creationism has no place in schools
Maybe creationism has its use as a topic for a comparative essay assignment on greek mythology in a high school lit class.
No, evolution has no place in schools
Could you fall in love with someone that you had no initial physical interest in, if you got to know them and they had an amazing personality?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ Could you have respect for someone after having sex with them on the first meeting/date?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, depending upon the circumstances.
★ What type of email or IM approach is most likely to make you respond?
Yo BaBy u bE hOt!
It looks like we have a lot of common interests.
Can we meet up tonight for sex?
I’m bored, what are you up to?
Is love overrated?
Yes, absolutely.
Yes, a bit.
No, it’s fine.
No, it’s underrated.
Would it be easier for you to make a list of things you want in a relationship or a list of things you want to avoid in a relationship?
Things I want.
Things I want to avoid.
How important is it for you to make physical contact when showing affection for someone?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not important.
★ Which of the following would you most expect to determine from a first date?
Sexual compatibility.
Emotional compatibility.
Spiritual compatibility.
Financial compatibility.
★ Is smoking disgusting?
Yes
Smoking is for melancholic people who smell bad.
No
When in social situations with a significant other, would you feel it is necessary to somehow signal to others that you are a couple?
Yes
No
Does the idea of actively participating in the reenactment of historical events interest you?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
★ Which is your preferred method of learning?
Traditional classroom
Computer-based instruction
Self study / reading
Other
★ Have you ever yelled at the TV while watching sports?
Yes
No
Have you ever been cruel to another person?
Yes
No
Did you ever take a class in school just because you heard the person you liked was taking it?
Yes
No
Once you realize that something will be almost impossible to attain, does it become MORE or LESS attractive to you?
More
Less
More, at first.
No effect / I’m not sure
Are you smarter than all your friends?
Yes
No
Could you date someone who has radically different musical preferences than you?
Yes, variety is the spice of life
No, I don’t want to hear it
I’m not sure, depends on the music
I’d insist they like my music
If your partner made a lot of noise while enjoying sex, would this be a turn-on or turn-off for you?
Turn on.
Turn off.
Either, depending upon how they sound.
It would make no difference.
Personally, is sex in a public place hotter than indoor sex?
Yes
No
I’m not sure / Wouldn’t know
Have you ever had a true one-night stand? (You met someone, had sex that night, and never contacted each other again.)
Yes
No
How big is your porn collection?
Small
Medium
LARGE
I don’t have one
Is there such a thing as having had too many sex partners?
Yes
No
Which aspect of the salmon life cycle best corresponds with your current state in life?I’m a(n)…
fry; eating in the stream where I was born.
smolt; moving on to life in the big ocean.
adult; fully developed, living in salt water.
spawner; with young, dead.
Would you consider dating a divorced person?
Yes, definitely
I’d prefer not
Definitely no
Can you name your two closest neighbours?
Yes
No
Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you?
Yes
No
Lolita?
Brilliant
Overrated
Don’t know
You send a message or a picture to somebody on line and they reply: “thnx” What do you think this response actually means?
A genuine thank you.
The minimum possible acknowledgment.
A curt dismissal.
Both minimum acknowledgment & curt dismissal
★ Do you prefer to date a non-believer?
yes
no
Not sure
If you could have one of the following psychic powers, which would you choose:
Telepathy (thought-reading).
Telekinesis (move objects without touching them).
Precognition (predict the future).
Mind Control (control other people’s minds).
Which would you rather master?
art
science
How does owning pets compare to raising children?
Pets and kids are one in the same.
Different species but universal techniques.
They’re similar. Pets can prepare you for kids.
The two are nothing alike.
Would you be willing to dress up as a member of the opposite sex if it would turn your partner on?
If it excites them, I’d even do it in public.
Yes, but only in private.
No.
I do it already!
How often do you do laundry?
Once a week
Every 2-3 weeks
I wait until I’m out of clean underwear!
You are more romantic than most people you know.
True
False
How do you feel about age differences in relationships?
I prefer someone close to my own age
I prefer someone older
I prefer someone younger
Doesn’t matter to me
Are you naturally a lot better at games than most people?
Yes
No
Do you usually carry a concealed weapon other than a gun?
Yes
No
Would it bother you if a partner insisted you were perfect and refused to acknowledge your shortcomings?
Yes
No
Would you date someone who wore a hearing aid?
Yes
No
Perhaps if it were small and difficult to notice.
Do you pee in the shower?
Yes
No
Of the following, which do you spend the most time doing while taking a bath or shower?
Washing and/or conditioning.
Shaving.
Relaxing.
Masturbating.
★ How does having sex with someone usually affect your emotional attachment to them?
I become more attached.
I become less attached.
I told you. I’m a virgin.
It stays about the same.
The best days of my life are:
In my future.
In my past.
Right now.
Do you stop to enjoy simple things in nature?
Often.
Sometimes.
Rarely.
Never.
★ What style of online writing annoys you most?
It gt 2 b dis typ: cuz it showz dat dey is fik
ThIs TyPe: It JuSt LoOkS sTuPiD..
ALL CAPITALS: THE STYLE OF THE ATTENTION SEEKER!
Consistent proper English: We are not at school!
What is worse, being poor or alone?
Poor
Alone
How important is it to be able to ‘agree to disagree’?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not important.
In a relationship, who do you prefer to be taller?
I like to be taller.
I like my partner to be taller.
I like us to be about the same height.
It doesn’t matter to me.
★ Do you think tall, skinny guys/gals are attractive?
Tall and skinny can be super sexy!
I guess, but I’d prefer a little meat on the bones
I don’t really have a preference either way
I’ve never been attracted to skinny
Do you get angry when you lose a game?
Usually
Sometimes
Never
Do you like hickies?
Yes
No
Would you ever use paper plates just to avoid doing dishes?
Yes
No
You’re in a serious, monogamous relationship when your partner gets offered their dream job overseas for three years. They have decided that it’s a chance they just can’t pass up. Which of these choices is most appealing to you?
Trying to arrange it so you can go with
Maintaining a long-distance relationship
Staying friends, dating around til they return
Breaking up and moving on
Of the following, which is your preferred method for expressing love to a partner?
Physical touch.
Talking, words of affirmation.
Gifts and meaningful gestures.
Acts of service/devotion.
★ Protesting for civil rights issues is…
… just for pretentious snobs who want attention
… necessary, but it’s just not for me
… somewhat important, but not for all issues
… something that I actively participate in
How good is your singing voice?
Really awesome, actually
Very good
Okay
Crappy
I have absolutely no talent in music. I can’t even clap and sing at the same time. I am turned on by those who can!
If an otherwise perfect match gave you an ultimatum to become a vegetarian, what would you do?
Comply – Become a vegetarian.
Rebel – This would be a deal breaker.
I actually am vegan, but I probably wouldn’t smile if someone insisted that I change my lifestyle, regardless of how I lived it.
Smile – I’m already a vegetarian.
★ Would you be willing to date someone who plays video games almost every day, for at least 2 hours?
Yes, I’d be playing with them.
Yes, but I would not play that much.
Yes, but I don’t like video games.
No.
If someone asked you, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” would you know the answer right away?
Yes
No
Most people seem to answer yes on this. Now I feel like I’m the only person who’s never secretly murdered anyone.
Would you like to “live hard, die fast, and leave a beautiful corpse”?
Yes
No
If given the choice of a lifelong relationship with someone you would love but never have a lustful “spark” for or a few years of intense passion with someone you would love intensely, which would you choose?
A lifetime in a comfortable relationship.
A few years of intense love.
Could you date someone who has terrible taste when it comes to music?
Yes
No
When looking for a mate, do you feel that it’s the other person’s job to prove himself or herself to you?
Yes
No
On average, do you think people of the world are too sexually repressed, not repressed enough, or just about right?
People are too sexually repressed.
People are too promiscuous.
People are just about right.
★ Do you prefer sex rough or gentle?
Rough
Gentle
I enjoy both equally
Foot fetish?
Yes, I have a foot fetish!
No, I don’t have a foot fetish
Do you imagine you’re louder than average (for someone your gender) during sex?
Yes, I’m louder
No
Have you ever gotten, or would you ever get, a piercing below the belt?
I have.
I would.
I wouldn’t.
Do you see a pattern in the type of people you usually end up in relationships with?
Yes
Three: tall and blond(e), letters of first and last names match, or pretty and destructive.
No
How do you feel about government-subsidized food programs (free lunch, food stamps, etc.)?
No problem
People on all levels of society abuse the system, but especially those who are rewarded ridiculously high tax benefits at the very top. The cliche of a poor family who qualifies for food stamps and also buys a large flat screen tv, or whatever the form of escapism is – I’d feel bad for, tv sucks. I just have little hope that besides surviving, anyone on the bottom who skims from the government is benefitting at all to the extent that those who save thousands and thousands from loopholes do at the very top.
It’s okay, if it is not abused
Okay for short amounts of time
Never – Get a job
Have you ever used a fake ID to do or acquire something you were legally barred from as a result of your age?
Yes
No
Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Cats
Dogs
Both
Neither
Would you ever consider having a friendship based primarily on sex, with no intentions for love, romance, or long-term commitment?
Yes
No
A person you have no special feelings for sends you a loveletter confessing he/she has a crush on you. What would your reaction be?
Share it with your friends for a good laugh
Throw it away or ignore it
If you want to pursue me, be more bold. Stalk me. See how I’d react. Don’t be a wuss about it.
Write back, telling him/her you’re not interested
Date him/her, maybe you’ll change your mind
Do you like to spend time with your friends and partner together or only separately?
I like for us all to hang out together.
I like to keep the two separated.
I’m not sure/I don’t care.
I like to do both more or less equally.
Do you believe that morality is completely relative?
Yes
No
A little / I’m not sure
If your partner needed lovemaking to always be gentle, would you be fine with this?
Yes
No
If a significant other told you that they had two-way communication with the spirit of a dead relative, would you believe them?
Yes
No
Have you ever cybered (had cybersex)?
Yes
No
Have you ever quit a job without giving at least a week notice?
Yes
No
Have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
Yes
No
Do you like to wear sexy underwear?
Yes
No
Do you ever feel socially awkward?
Yes
No
Someone has deep feelings for you. Might you abuse this love purely for sex?
Yes
No
Imagine you are on a first date and accidentally discover your date is packing condoms. Which would be closest to your reaction?
I’d tease them about it.
I’d acknowledge it, but politely.
I’d pretend I didn’t see it.
I’d end the date.
Can just one person significantly change the world?
Yes
No
Genital piercings?
Make me hot.
Ouch, no thanks.
No opinion.
Does silence make you uncomfortable?
Yes
No
Depends on the situation
If given the chance, would you rather learn to play a musical instrument or learn to speak another language?
Play a musical instrument.
Speak another language.
Neither.
Would you date someone who has served considerable time in prison?
Yes
No
Would you date someone purely on the fact that they were well endowed?
Yes
No
Depends on how ‘well’ we are talking!
Do you like the idea of having a partner bathe you?
Do superficial people, who place a high emphasis on physical appearance, annoy you?
Yes
No
Sometimes
Do you think that a person’s musical preferences are a good indicator of intelligence?
Yes
No
Do you care about other people’s suffering?
Yes, solidarity is important
No, everyone has their own responsibility
It depends on the kind of suffering
Do you have a dark and morbid sense of humor?
Yes
No
Occasionally
Is it possible to love someone you don’t even like?
Yes
No
When you get take-out food, do you usually eat out of the provided containers or transfer the food to dishes?
I usually eat out of the take-out containers.
I usually put the food in appropriate dishes.
It depends upon the specifics.
I don’t eat take-out.
Have you ever given out a wrong phone number to politely reject someone?
Yes
No
★ On average, which best describes how often you GET WICKED DRUNK?
Twice a week or more
Weekly / Bi-Weekly
Once every month or three.
Seldom or never.
Are you Jewish?
Yes
No
★ Do you enjoy intellectual debates on topics like politics, religion, science, or philosophy?
I love to argue!
Sometimes.
It’s usually boring or annoying.
I’m not smart enough.
Would you prefer to have one true love forever, or lots of fun and meaningful relationships?
One true love
Lots of relationships
How often do you use profane language?
Never
Once in a while
Often
Almost always
How long do you believe people need to be in a relationship before getting married?
At least 2 years
At least 1 year
At least 6 months
Less than 6 months / no requirement
Do you usually feel the need to shower or bathe after having sex?
Yes.
No.
I’ve never had sex.
Do you store any of your physical possessions alphabetically?
Yes
No
Could you easily obtain illegal drugs through your social network?
Yes.
No.
Only marijuana.
Are you really into Anime (Japanese Animation) movies?
Yes
No
Have you ever faked an orgasm during sex?
Yes
No
Which do you prefer?
Shower
Bath
It depends
Would you date someone who was currently in a relationship, knowing that you would “be a secret”?
Sure, why not?
Depends on the person.
Absolutely not.
How do you feel about Comic Sans?
Comic Sans is Awesome!
Comic Sans is okay, I guess.
Comic Sans is the worst font ever.
Don’t know/Don’t care.
Do you have any “extreme” piercings (this includes anything other than ears, nose, or navel)?
Yes
No
Which is more respectable, a sense of responsibility towards others, or a willful sense of individualism?
Responsibility
Individualism
Imagine you have a regular sex partner, but you cannot seem to help them achieve orgasm. Would this bother you?
Yes
No
If you could kill all the mosquitoes in the world in an instant, would you do it?
Yes!
No
I’m not sure
Do you enjoy all-you-can-eat buffets?
Yes
No
Are you a morning person?
Yes
No
If you had to choose between spending a weekend hiking and camping or going to Broadway shows with the same friends, which would you choose?
Camping.
Broadway.
I would be happy with either.
I would rather stay home.
How ticklish are you?
Extremely.
Somewhat.
Just a little bit.
Not at all.
★ Do you believe there is some unique human quality that separates us from animals?
Yes, and it was given to us by God
Yes, but it has nothing to do with God
No, we are just animals
I dont know
Is there a point in a relationship where it can get “too serious”?
Yes
No
If you were to receive one month’s salary as a gift, which of the following would come to mind first?
Save it.
Spend it.
Pay off debt.
Would you consider dating someone whose religion or spirituality is the primary focus in their life?
Yes
No
How would you feel if a significant other forgot your birthday, nameday, anniversary, or something else similarly important to you?
Indifferent.
Disappointed.
Annoyed.
Angry.
Do you laugh when somebody trips and falls?
Yes, almost always
No, almost never
Occasionally
Do you blush easily?
Yes
No
No way I’m tough.
★ You’re early in a relationship and your significant other begins crying. You have no idea what prompted it. What do you do?
Gently prompt them to talk with me.
Remain quiet and open to discussion if requested.
Begin edging slowly toward the door.
Sigh exasperatedly. Why me?
Have you shaved your head anytime in the last 5 years?
Yes
No
Your significant other is traveling and has the opportunity to stay with a good friend that you know they find to be very attractive. What’s your stance on the situation?
It would be totally unacceptable.
It might be ok, but I’d want to discuss it first.
It’s fine – I don’t see any problem.
It sounds sexy – Hopefully they’ll hook up.
Setting random things (non-living) on fire just to watch them burn is:
Amazing amounts of fun
Worth doing when bored
Unsafe and stupid
Wasteful and stupid
Do you believe you could eventually fall in love with someone whom you have no initial physical attraction to?
Yes
No
How often are you open with your feelings?
Always
Usually
Rarely
Never
Would you radically alter your appearance (hair, clothes, body modifications) for your significant other?
Yes
No way!
I’m not sure, it depends…
You have plans to hang out with some friends, but a person you have recently begun dating calls and asks you to do something for the night. Assuming you are still interested in this person, what do you say?
Yes. I’ll see my friends another time.
No, I’m busy. How about another time?
Sure, but let’s hang out with my friends.
I’ll do both somehow, but keep them separated.
Do people who frequently use lol annoy you?
Yes!
No.
It’s a little annoying, but I try to get past it.
I don’t know.
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Yes
No
A college-level education is…
Necessary
Nice, but not mandatory
Unnecessary
★ If you had to choose one for the rest of your life, which would you pick?
Monogamy
An open relationship
Polyamory
Playing the field
If you’re in a relationship you expect will last for the rest of your life, is it important to you that it be the most satisfying sexual relationship you have ever had?
Yes
No
About how long do you want your next relationship to last?
One night
A few months to a year
Several years
The rest of my life
★ How important is a potential match’s sense of humor to you?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not important.
Would you consider dating a High School dropout?
Yes
Yes, if they are doing well
No
Do you think it is important to verbally ask a partner’s permission each time before physically touching them?
Yes
No
If you were buying a house or apartment to live in, how important would quiet be to you?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not important.
How much do other people’s opinions of you influence your decisions?
A lot
Some
Very little
Not at all
What is too big of an age gap between you and a partner?
5 years
10 years
15 years
Age is just a number
With respect to sex drive, which of the following has created problems in your prior relationships?
Having a partner with a greater sex drive.
Having a partner with a weaker sex drive.
Both of the above.
Neither of the above.
When someone speaks with a noticable accent, does that influence your opinion of their intelligence?
Yes.
No.
It depends upon the accent.
Which pubic hair style do you prefer for a partner?
Natural.
Neatly trimmed.
Completely shaven.
It doesn’t matter.
Would you consider connecting with someone whose relationship status is ‘seeing someone’ or ‘married’?
Yes to both
No to both
Yes to ‘seeing someone’ only
Yes to ‘married’ only
Imagine you have a partner who is able to provide financially for you and any children. Would you consider taking a stay-at-home role?
Yes
No
Do you ever make up stories to tell people, just for laughs?
All the time
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
Have you ever seen a ghost?
Yes
No
Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes
No
If you found a valuable item that you knew was lost by someone you dislike, would you return it to them?
Yes.
No, I’d take it for myself.
No, but I wouldn’t take it for myself.
Could you date someone who was very funny, but could never take anything seriously?
Yes
No
Would you be comfortable being poor for the rest of your life?
Yes
No
Does the idea of childbirth disgust you?
Yes
No
How often do you ‘take it out’ on other people when you’re having a bad day?
Always.
Frequently.
Occasionally.
Never.
Do you ever spit on the ground in public?
Yes
Sometimes things collect in my mouth while bikeriding…
No
Would you prefer to live in an old house with character and history or a brand spanking new one?
Old
New
If it were possible to change your gender instantly, painlessly, reversibly, and for free, would you?
Yes
No
Would you ever date someone who depended on their parents’ money?
Yes
No
Which is more effective, militant action or peaceful protest?
Militant action.
Peaceful protest.
It depends upon the situation.
Is just be yourself good advice?
Absolutely.
It’s vacuous. Who else can I be?
Not quite. I mind how I come off.
No. I misrepresent myself as needed.
Would you ever consider cutting a partner (who asked for it) in sexual play?
Yes
Maybe
No
I just don’t like the thought of getting in contact with someone’s blood or pus during sex, assuming the cutting or play comes before actual intercourse, which it usually does. If you want pain during a sex romp with your partner, why not drizzle chili sauce (or powder) on them and lick?
How much does physical attractiveness matter to you in a match?
A lot
A little
Not at all
★ Should a woman be allowed to remove her shirt (so that her breasts are bare) in a public area like a beach or park if men are allowed to do so?
Yes, women & men should have the same freedoms
Yes, so long as children aren’t present.
No, that is vulgar.
I’m not sure.
How important to you is being with family during holidays?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not important.
I have no family.
Do you find arrogance to be a turn-on?
Yes
No
Are you okay with people who grow marijuana for their own personal use?
Yes
No
Some friends invite you to go camping where there are no showers, no toilets, and no services. The only luxuries would be those you could carry in a pack on your back. Do you go?
Yes
No
★ Have you learned more about what you like sexually through long-lasting committed relationships or through casual intimacy with different people?
Long lasting committed relationships.
Casual intimacy with different people.
I’m not sexually experienced.
★ Which of the following would you be most disturbed to find in a 13-year-old child’s room?
Condoms.
Illegal drugs.
Pornography.
Weapons.
Do you think you could ever enjoy being humiliated as part of a sexual experience?
Yes
No
★ Regardless of where you grew up or now live, which of the following best describes the way you see yourself at heart?
I am an urban or city person.
I am a suburbanite.
I am small town or country person.
★ Do you laugh out loud at television shows or movies even when you are alone?
Yes, of course.
No.
Have you ever blacked out from drunkenness?
Yes
No
If someone you barely knew asked you how many people you’d had sex with, would you answer?
Yes
No
Which of the following character flaws would you be least tolerant of in a potential partner?
Moodiness.
Dependency.
Jealousy.
Apathy.
Do you Google someone before a first date?
Yes. Knowledge is power!
No. Why spoil the mystery?
Imagine that you come home to find a partner pouring red wine all over a stranger’s naked body and then licking it off. Which, if any of the following, would bother you most?
The spilled wine.
The cheating.
The fact that I was not invited to join in.
Actually, this would not bother me.
When your partner does something that hurts your feelings, which of the following choices most closely resembles your reaction, most often?
Whatever it is, I do it silently.
I bring it to their attention immediately.
I will let it stew inside me for while, then talk.
I become passive aggressive or take revenge.
If you were to fall in love with someone who had a child, do you think you would be willing to love the child as your own?
Yes
No
Are you too lazy to go to the kitchen and make some real food?
Yes
No
Would you continue dating someone who openly found your friends disgusting?
Yes
No
Do you need to know about your partner’s previous sexual exploits?
Yes, because it reflects on them as a person.
No, the past is the past.
If your significant other actively participates in an activity that you are not really interested in, would you go to offer support if they wanted you to?
Yes, as often as I could.
Yes, I’d go occasionally.
Maybe once or twice, to say I did.
No, I would not.
★ Do you have any tattoos?
Yes, I have more than one tattoo.
Yes, I have one tattoo.
No, but I want to get a tattoo.
No, and I have no interest in getting a tattoo.
Have you ever lived in a commune?
Yes, and I liked it.
Yes, but I did not like it.
No, and I’d never want to.
No, but I’d like to.
Would you ever engage in a sexual activity you didn’t enjoy, just because your partner did?
Yes
No
Do you think reptiles are cool?
Yes
No
★ How many countries have you visited?
I have never left the country I live in now.
Between 2 and 5 countries.
Between 6 and 10 countries.
More than 10 countries.
You’re talking to an attractive person in a bar and almost everything they say is in some way connected to television or films. What does that make them?
Major geek. Bye.
Cool – I’m just the same
Doesn’t bother me
Do you have conversations with your pets?
Yes.
No.
I don’t have any pets.
In the sentencing of a convicted murderer, which of the following sentences would you be most likely to recommend?
Exile
Life in prison without the possibility of parole
Loss of limb
Death penalty
Would you date someone who used to have a problem with cutting themselves and have scars to prove it?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Which do you like more? Be honest.
Giving massages
Receiving massages
All else the same, would you rather date someone rich or hot?
Rich
Hot
How would you act if you were MUCH better than a match at something he/she is passionate about?
I’d openly flaunt my superior skill
I’d downplay my skill to avoid upsetting him/her
I’d be enthusiastic about our shared interest
It depends on how secure or insecure he/she seems
Do you more easily fall in love or fall out of love?
I find it easier to fall in love.
I find it easier to fall out of love.
They’re about the same.
I don’t know.
★ What do you think of the game of Rugby?
A game for savage barbarians
Cool, but not for me..
Can’t get enough of it!
I don’t know anything about it/I don’t care
Do you like going to amusement parks?
Yes
No
If your significant other has not reached the same educational level as you, is this a turn off?
Yes
No
★ When men show extra courtesy toward women (opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc.), this is:
Admirable and desirable. Chivalry’s not dead
Unnecessary but appreciated
Sexist and insulting; women are perfectly capable
‘Extra’ courtesy for opening a door specifically for a woman implies sexism, and is very different than holding a door open for anyone. Those who find this difference to be desirable seem to also be conceding that standards for treatment and behavior should be sustained according to someone’s gender, which promotes discrimination.
Do you snort when you laugh?
Yes / sometimes
No / never
Would you cheat on your taxes, if you were absolutely 100% sure you could get away with it?
Yes
No
Do you ever date to avoid being alone?
Yes
No
Which of the following would you rather discuss with someone you just met?
Musical preferences.
Political beliefs.
Philosophical beliefs.
Sports.
Which would you rather lose?
the right to bear arms
the right to vote
Could you date someone who has strong political opinions that are the exact opposite of yours?
Yes
No
A billionaire falls in love with you and proposes marriage. You like them as a friend, but are neither in love nor attracted to them. Would you accept?
Definitely yes.
Probably yes.
Probably not.
Definitely not.
Have you had a girlfriend before?
Yes
No
As a kid, who did you like more, Bert or Ernie?
Bert
Ernie
I hated that show
I don’t know what you’re talking about
If you got married, would you change your name?
Yes
No
How important are academic achievements to you?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not important.
Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Open.
Closed.
It depends.
Have you ever had sex with a person within the first hour of meeting them?
Yes
No
Would you ever date someone who’s had cosmetic surgery?
Yes
No
How would you feel about dating someone who left their long-time partner heartbroken and ruined to be with you?
What’s the problem?
I’d accept it, but not trust them fully.
No way!
I don’t know
It’s your first date with someone you recently met. At the end they say “I think I love you.”
Scary
Sweet
I’d get goosebumps and my eyes would roll behind my lids.
Would you date someone just for the sex?
Yes
No
Dating, to me, implies romance. I am too bad at feigning romance just to have sex with someone.
Do you like sex toys?
Yes
No
Does showering or bathing with your partner appeal to you?
Yes
No
Only bathing
Only showering
Do you believe a couple should live together before considering marriage?
Yes
No
Have you ever made a booty call (invited over or visited someone you were not actively in a relationship with, just for sexual activity)?
Yes, and I still do.
Yes, I have done it, but don’t any more.
No, and I never will.
No, but I suppose I might.
How do you feel about internet sex, also known as “cybering”?
It arouses me very much.
I don’t have an opinion.
I think it’s stupid.
Have you ever had to sleep on the streets, even for just one night?
Yes
No
I slept in the bed of my truck in Vegas once; I didn’t ‘have’ to.
Teasing:
Fantastic, make me a sexual martyr
Good in moderation, only if something comes of it
Not so fun
Horrible, the work of evildoers
Your significant other is perfectly content with their minimum wage job and has no plans to look for more challenging/better paying work. Is this a problem?
Yes, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate that.
Somewhat, but it’s their life.
No, I don’t mind.
Do you believe you’ve lived past lives?
Yes, I am confident I have.
No, I do not believe this is possible.
Maybe, but there is no way to really know.
I’ve done past-life hypnosis; I was a boxer, a seamstress, a priest, a warrior, a mesoamerican boy riding a pig, and a mammy who made gumbo.
★ Are you more polite to strangers or friends?
Strangers.
Friends.
It’s not that I’d yell at someone but when I get a gratuitous comment directed towards me, and don’t know the person, I would more likely ignore it.
I’m equally polite to both.
I’m generally rude to both.
Do you often find yourself worrying about things that you have no control over?
Yes
No
How much body hair do you have?
A lot
Average
Very little / none
Do you think video or computer games are childish?
Yes
No
★ Once you take a moral position, can anything be said or done to change your mind?
Yes, life is a big gray area anyway.
No, some things are just right or wrong.
Maybe. It depends on the issue.
Maybe, but it would take a lot.
How open are you to trying new things in bed?
Very open. I’ll try anything once.
I’m open, but I don’t get too crazy.
Hesitant, but it might happen.
Not at all.
Are open to the use of a strap-on?
Yes
No
Only with a female
Only with a male
★ When you first talk online with someone, which of the following would you prefer to talk about?
Sex.
Politics or current events.
Activities.
Personal history or experiences.
Not as in whips and chains, but in general, do you prefer your partner to be…
Dominant
Submissive
Balanced
Are you at all attracted to people who are less intellectually or professionally motivated than you?
Yes, sure
No
I talk about my previous relationships:
All the time
Occasionally
Almost never, unless explicitly asked about them.
Never, even if explicitly asked about them.
Does it bother you when people say “PIN number” or “ATM machine”?
Yes!
Well, a little
Nope, but I see why you’re asking
Why would it?
Do you like kissing in public?
Yes
No
Would you describe yourself as sexy?
Yes
No
Do you try to draw attention to your body by wearing seductive clothing?
Yes
No
Which of the following types of toys did you generally like best when you were about eight years old?
Creative / building toys.
Action figures, dolls, or model vehicles.
Stuffed animals.
Balls, frisbees, or other sporting goods.
★ What is your position on hunting?
I approve of hunting for food and sport.
I approve of hunting for food only.
I do not approve of hunting at all.
★ Who are you more worried about disappointing?
God
My family or friends
Myself
I don’t worry about such things
Would you consider flirting with a traffic cop to avoid getting a ticket?
Yes
No
★ Do you like to play drinking games?
Yes, they’re awesome!
No, I think they’re lame
Not really, but I will on occasion
No, I don’t drink
Do you like cats? Would you consider owning a cat as a pet?
Yes, I would love (or do own) a cat.
I’m not too into them, but I wouldn’t mind one.
No, I dislike cats.
I like them, but I’m allergic.
Do you flake out on social invitations?
Sometimes
Rarely / Never
It’s okay to be arrogant and snobbish if you know you’re right.
Yes
No
Sometimes
I don’t know
Have you ever had sex in a place where there was a high risk of being caught?
Yes
No, but it sounds like fun
No, I don’t think I could do it
Would you consider inviting someone to bed with you for clearly-stated non-sexual purposes (e.g., cuddle and sleep only) on a first date?
Yes
No
Could you date someone who was really messy?
Yes
No
Are you an aspiring actor/artist/writer or other creative type?
Yes
No
Would you need to know the sexual history, beyond 6 months back, of someone you dated?
Yes
No
Would you consider having a relationship with someone who is very serious about a religion that is not mainstream?
Yes
No
Biting?
No
Yes
Let’s break skin
Say you’re with someone you really care about, and they reveal their deepest, darkest secret. Which of the following would be most likely to scare you away?
A sexual fetish.
A bad temper.
A mild mental illness.
A history of bad credit.
How well do you sleep when you’re in unfamiliar surroundings?
Better than usual.
The same as usual.
Worse than usual.
★ Is intelligence a turn on?
Yes!
Somewhat.
Intelligence does nothing for me either way.
Intelligence turns me off.
Does violence ever solve anything?
Yes, everything
No, violence solves nothing
Most of the time
Almost never, but sometimes
Would you date someone who kept a gun in the house?
Yes
No
Would you have a sexual relationship with a friend even if you both knew you were romantically incompatible?
Yes
No
If your partner were to provide you with a meal, which would you appreciate more?
My partner cooking my favourite meal.
My partner taking me to my favorite restaurant.
Neither – I would appreciate both equally.
★ How are you most likely to show your partner you care?
Words: Tell them how much you appreciate them
Actions: Do something nice
Gifts: Buy them flowers, jewelry or a new gadget
Touch: Give them a hug, massage or kiss
Upon first meeting, would you be most attracted to a person who:
Exudes overt sexuality
Is witty and charming
Is mysterious and elusive
Is the smartest duck in the room
Would you run into a burning building to rescue your pet?
Yes, without a doubt
No, it’s only an animal
I’m not sure/Depends on the conflagration
I don’t have a pet
Imagine that after becoming romantically involved with someone, they reveal that they formerly earned a living as a prostitute. How would you react to this new information?
Positively.
Negatively.
Indifferently.
If you were going to throw a party, which of the following sounds most appealing?
Wine and cheese.
Cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.
Beer and barbeque.
Anything without alcohol.
What is the most exciting thing about getting to know someone new?
Discovering your shared interests
Discovering their body
★ Imagine that you have a particular sexual desire you would like to satisfy with a significant other, but they are unwilling to help you fulfill it. How would this affect your relationship?
It would end the relationship.
I would continue only if satisfied elsewhere.
I would manage without it if all else is good.
It wouldn’t; sex just isn’t that important to me.
Would you consider dating someone who plans to remain celibate indefinitely?
Yes
No
Do you believe in an energy field that surrounds us that we can manipulate through reiki, acupuncture, chakra balancing, yoga, or some other system?
Yes, and I practice one/some of these.
Yes, but I don’t practice any of these.
No, but I do practice one/some of these.
No, and I would never practice any of these.
Imagine that you are in an uncommitted relationship with someone you have grown to deeply care about. They begin to date someone else who seems to make them happier than you do. Which would you do?
Bow out.
Try harder to win their love.
Continue as before.
Did you join OkCupid just so you could find people to have sex with?
Yes
No
★ Would you date someone who doesn’t own a car?
Yes
I don’t own one and prefer not to be in one either!
No
When having sex, do you like to have your hair pulled?
Yes, and hard!
Yes, but gently.
No way.
Not sure.
Are you out to your coworkers and/or other random acquaintances?
Completely
Partially
Not at all
How does the idea of being slapped hard in the face during sex make you feel?
Horrified
Aroused
Nostalgic
Indifferent
Could you live without the Internet?
Yes
No
When you’re not in a serious relationship, what do you prefer?
Dating multiple people at once
Dating one person at a time
I only have serious relationships; I don’t ‘date’
★ Do you keep your sexual exploits private?
Yes, always.
No, I am an open book.
Sometimes.
How do you handle a first date that is going horribly wrong?
Get up and leave.
Grin and bear it, counting the seconds.
Try to make it as pleasant as possible.
Say something to make your date get up and leave.
Do you believe in second chances when it comes to romantic relationships?
Yes, it may work out in another time/place.
No, it didn’t work the first time, it never will
Depends on the relationship
★ Do you wear a helmet when riding a bicycle?
Yes, all the time
Yes, some of the time
Rarely or never
I don’t ride bicycles
What type of humor do you enjoy most?
Ribald, crude, debasing
Witty, tongue-in-cheek
Slapstick, physical, farce
Sarcastic
Are you totally anti-war?
Yes
No
Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?
Yes
No
★ Would you date somebody who was a virgin at the age of 25?
Yes, definitely
Only if they were willing to give it up
No
★ When you are angry or frustrated do you ever throw, smash, kick, or hit inanimate objects?
Yes, frequently
Sometimes
Used to, but not any more
Never
★ How do you feel about women openly displaying tattoos?
I Like It
I Don’t Mind
I Dislike It
How interested would you be in knowing the details of a partner’s sexual history?
Very interested.
Somewhat interested.
Not interested.
★ Would you consider using drugs prescribed by a psychiatrist to improve your personality?
Yes
No
Should recreational drugs be legalized, regulated, and taxed?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
★ If mind-altering drugs were proven to be good for your body and still got you high, would you take them?
Yes
No
Maybe
★ Could you date someone who does drugs?
No
Yes, but only soft stuff like marijuana
Yes
★ What’s your deal with harder drugs (stuff beyond pot)?
I do drugs regularly.
I do drugs occasionally.
I’ve done drugs in the past, but no longer.
I never do drugs.
During what console generation did you enjoy video games the most?
NES – SNES, Genesis
N64, Playstation 1
Playstation 2, Xbox, Gamecube
PS3, Xbox 360, Wii
★ Have you had a boyfriend before?
Yes
No
A difference of opinion over which of the following topics would most likely make you think twice about dating someone?
Abortion
Politics
Death Penalty
None of these would.
Would you date someone who was always optimistic?
Yes
No
★ Should governments control population by placing legal limits on childbearing?
Yes.
No, that violates human rights.
No, that is against my spiritual beliefs.
No, for other reasons.
★ Could you date someone who loved you with all their heart, and whom you liked a lot, but who was terrible in bed?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ Would you rather play Scrabble, go out dancing, or get drunk?
Scrabble
Dancing
Booze
★ What’s more important to you?
Your world
Your country
Have you ever dated a woman?
Yes
No
Divide your age by 2. Have you had sex with at least that many people?
Yes
No
Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve ever had sex with?
Yes.
No.
I’ve never had sex with anyone.
★ Could you date someone who was really quiet?
Yes
No
★ Would you pay for porn?
Yes.
No.
Only if I couldn’t get it for free.
I’m not interested in porn.
Do you ever want to punch people you don’t know, right in the face, for superficial reasons (the way they grin, their clothes, their voice, etc.)?
Every day
It happens, but not often
Never
★ Ideally, what portion of your total hobbies and other recreational activities would you like to share as common with a partner?
All.
None.
Up to one-half.
More than one-half.
Board games?
What are board games?
I love boardgames, let’s go play.
Boardgames are okay, I guess.
I’d rather do something else.
Do you know the first name of every person you’ve ever made out with?
Yes
No
★ What is the worst personality trait someone can have?
Arrogance
Being boring
Immaturity
No sense of humor
You are interested in someone, and you discover that they were a nerd in high school. How does this affect your opinion of them?
Favorably.
Unfavorably.
It makes no difference.
Most people I’ve met, regardless of how many friends they have or sports they’ve played, consider themselves to be a nerd in high school.
Do you prefer a partner to be more masculine or more feminine?
More masculine.
More feminine.
Average.
It would vary depending upon their gender.
Do you think that people should be allowed to marry more than one person at a time?
Yes
No
I don’t know
Do you mind when people crack their knuckles?
Yes, it bothers me a lot.
Yes, but occasionally is fine.
No, I think it’s okay.
No, I crack mine all the time!
To you, which adjective best describes hopeless, unrequited love?
Romantic
Foolish
Creepy
Is it okay to answer your cell phone while out with a friend or on a date?
Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?
Friend, yes. Date, no.
No, that’s just rude.
★ You’re in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you?
Yes, and it makes me uncomfortable.
I guess, but It doesn’t change how I feel.
That seems like an average number.
No, that’s nothing.
Would you ever consider a relationship where you would take on an exclusive sexual role as master or slave?
Yes, as the master only.
Yes, as the slave only.
Yes, as the master or the slave.
No.
★ Which olfactory strategy would you prefer a partner take when on a date with you?
Perfume / aftershave / cologne.
Antiperspirant or subtle deodorant only.
Clean and natural.
Sweatiness is godliness.
★ Suppose a potential significant other is difficult or impossible for you to “read”, emotionally. You find this:
Mysterious and/or arousing.
Off-putting and/or creepy.
Frustrating and/or infuriating.
I’m not sure/I don’t care.
★ On your first visit to a friend’s home, which would bother you more, the open display of a religious altar or of a porn library?
The altar.
The porn library.
Neither would bother me at all.
★ If someone identifies as a feminist, does that raise or lower your opinion of them?
It raises my opinion.
It lowers my opinion.
It has no effect on my opinion.
★ Would you object to someone bringing a young child along on a first date?
Yes
No
★Your a bitch! What bothers you more about this sentence?
The profanity
The grammar
They both bother me equally
Neither one bothers me
★ What kind of rides do you like at amusement parks?
The biggest or most thrilling ones.
The more laid back, smaller, or classic rides.
I like them all, big and small.
I wouldn’t bother to do the rides.
★ Which of the following best describes your typical demeanor?
Cheerful! I have a positive outlook.
Meh. I have my ups and downs.
Annoyed. The world sucks.
★ How does finding out someone has served in their country’s military affect your respect for them?
It increases my respect for them.
It decreases my respect for them.
It does not affect my respect for them.
★ Is there at least one nude photo of you on the internet?
Yes
No
Yes, but my face isn’t visible
Not sure
Which of these is wrong?
The cat’s out of the bag.
The cat’s feet are out of the bag.
All the cat’s are out of the bag.
None of them! They’re all correct!
Would you date someone significantly (9 years or over) older than you?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ Is long hair on a guy inappropriate?
Yes
No
★ Is it possible for your partner to be too ambitious?
Yes
No
Imagine you are very interested in a long-term relationship with someone. Would it be worse if they wanted you only for casual sex or if they were not interested in sex with you at all?
Wanting me only for casual sex would be worse.
Wanting no sex with me at all would be worse.
★ Do you believe reason is more important than emotions in solving problems?
Yes
No
★ Are you out to your family?
Completely
Partially
Not at all
★ Which best describes your political beliefs?
Liberal / Left
Centrist
Conservative / Right
Other
★ Which is bigger?
The Earth
The Sun
★ Would you prefer to date someone way dumber than you, or way smarter?
Way smarter
Way dumber
★ Do you prefer the people in your life to be simple or complex?
Simple
Complex
★ Would you go out with a smoker?
Yes
Yes, but only an occasional/social smoker
No
★ Do you ever feel the need to get really drunk?
Often
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
★ Which of the following types of intelligence do you value most?
Logical / Mathematical
Social / Interpersonal
Visual / Artistic
Beards: cool or ugly?
Cool
Ugly
Depends
Do you believe morality is universal, or relative?
Universal
Relative
★ How willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person?
Totally willing!
Hesitant, but I’d certainly consider it.
I’m not interested in meeting in person.
★ Do you enjoy intense intellectual conversations?
Yes
No
What’s your take on “professional” wrestling?
I love it – Give me ringside seats.
It’s ok. If it’s on, I might watch.
I don’t care for it.
I think anyone who watches it is stupid.
If someone wrongs you do you exact revenge?
Yes
No
Do you usually pamper the person who you are with?
Yes
No
★ There are 3 wells: Beauty, Wealth, and Love. From which would you drink?
Beauty
Wealth
Love
Would you consider dating someone who wears a wig because of hair loss?
Yes
No
After sex do you clean up right away?
Yes.
No.
Sometimes, it depends upon how I feel.
Could you be with someone who would really rather die than get old?
Yes
No
Do you check to be certain all of the entry doors at your residence are locked before going to sleep?
Always.
Never.
Sometimes.
Do you enjoy doing silly things with your friends that may seem childish to others?
Yes
No
★ Would you walk up to a stranger and tell them you think they’re beautiful?
Yes / probably
No / probably not
You flush the toilet…
Always
Just sometimes
When you’re alone, do you talk to yourself out loud?
Yes, always.
Yes, sometimes.
Yes, but only rarely.
No, never.
Have you ever gone skydiving?
Yes, and I enjoyed it.
Yes, but I did not like it.
No, but I would like to some day.
No, and I do not want to.
Does the car someone drives say a lot about their character?
Yes
No
Were you in love with the first person you ever slept with?
Yes
No
I’m a virgin
Has anyone ever accused you of being too clingy?
Yes
No
★ Would you consider dating someone who’s never been in a relationship before?
Yes, that would be great
Yes, I think
I don’t know, I don’t think I could
No way!
If you really needed some cash, would you lie to get it?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Is it morally right for society to allow parents of children too young to make their own decisions to deny them the medical attention they require for survival for religious reasons?
Yes, it is their child after all
No, absolutely not
I’m Not Sure
Do you consider taxes a form of theft?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Does fashion matter to you?
A lot
A little
Not at all
Do you believe in miracles?
Yes
No
Homeschooling is…
Something I would do for my kids
Bad
Something I would consider
Would you date someone who has never been in any kind of relationship before?
Yes
No
How important is it that the interior furnishings in your living environment be of an up-to-date style?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
Would you be willing to date a musician?
Of course!
Possibly…depending on what they do.
I really don’t know.
Not a chance!
If you had a potentially harmful addiction such as smoking, drinking, or drugs, how do you think you would you feel if a significant other tried to get you to stop?
Grateful.
Annoyed.
Angry.
Indifferent.
Do you feel like a ‘complete’ person when you are not in a relationship?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
I never feel entirely complete
Which is more true for you?
A relationship is taking a break from being single
Being single is taking a break from relationships
I’m not sure / Neither
Would you consider naming a child after an unusually-named fictional character?
Yes
No
Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery if your partner requested you to do so?
Yes
No
Would you like to be the supreme ruler of all people on Earth?
Yes
No
As a parent, would you consider your own children to be more important than other children?
Yes
No
If your life as it stands right now were as good as it was ever going to get would you be okay with that?
Yes
No
If a clone was made of you, would you sleep with it?
Yes
No
I Don’t Know
How often do you (or would you) call in sick to work or school when you are not actually ill?
Never.
Once, twice, or three times per year.
Four to ten times per year.
More than ten times per year.
★ If you were dating somebody that you met online, would you be reluctant to tell your friends?
Yes, I would be reluctant.
No, not at all.
A little, but I would be honest with them.
Do animals have “souls” like humans do?
Yes
No
Would you cut off your own good hand, if you knew it would magically solve poverty in the world?
Yes
No
Would you consider going ‘off grid’ to live with someone who only had solar power, a wood stove, an outhouse, etc?
Yes
No
Have you ever attended — or would you attend — a Sci-Fi/Anime/etc convention?
Yes
No
The person you are dating has a different faith or religion than you. They ask you to go with them to a religious function. Do you go?
Yes
No
It depends on what kind of function it is
It depends on what religion it is
Assuming one existed whom you found sufficiently attractive, would you consider dating your cousin?
No.
Yes, but third cousin or more distant only.
Yes, I’d go as close as a second cousin.
Yes. In fact, I’d even date a first cousin.
Suppose you’re dating someone who seems to have long-term potential. You discover that they want to urinate on you during sex. Would you consider staying with this person?
Yes
No
If you saw an acquaintance acting incredibly silly when they thought nobody was watching, would you be more attracted or less attracted to them?
More attracted
Less attracted
My opinion of them would not change
Would you risk your life for an animal?
Yes
No
Hypothetically, do you think you would be good at being a porn star?
Yes
No
What’s your relationship with marijuana?
I smoke regularly.
I smoke occasionally.
I smoked in the past, but no longer.
Never.
Can you tell the difference between very good wine and pretty good wine, just from the taste?
Yes
No
Are you good at explaining things?
Yes
No
Do you feel that you’re usually at least one step ahead of most people you talk to?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy flowers?
Yes
No
Flowers are a waste of time
Is the idea of taking a long road trip with a partner appealing to you?
Yes
No
Been there, done that, twice. I prefer train, plane, boat, scooter, anything, but driving.
Do you consider yourself to be photogenic?
Yes
No
Do you have rhythm (at least enough to find the beat of a song)?
Yes
No
I think so, but people tell me otherwise
If you were forced to choose between saving the life of a beloved household pet or saving the life of a human stranger, which would you save?
My pet.
The stranger.
I’d let them both die before choosing.
Have you ever taken any pills hoping they would help you lose weight?
Yes
No
Is it okay to search your child’s room, to make sure they aren’t doing anything you don’t want them to do?
Yes.
Only with probable cause.
No, their right to privacy is too important.
Would you ever sleep with a porn star?
Yes
No
Are you better looking than most people?
Yes
No
Do you own any dice with more than six sides?
Yes
No
Would you rather spend the rest of your life with one lover, but no friends; or with many friends, but no lovers?
One lover, but no friends.
Many friends, but no lovers.
If you’re stranded on an island, with absolutely no food, and your companion dies, would you eat them to survive? Assume you have fire for cooking.
Yes
No
Do you have a checklist of mandatory traits that you absolutely require in any significant other?
Yes
No
Would you have sex with someone, if you were blindfolded and would never know who it was, only that it would be someone you had never met before?
Yes
No
★ Are you more horny or more lonely?
Horny
Lonely
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Under 18
18 or Over
I never have!
Would being in the same room with a couple of friends who are having sex bother you?
Yes
No
Do you think it is acceptable to smoke tobacco in front of children?
Yes
No
Would you ever seriously date someone twice your age?
Yes
No
Are you a virgin?
Yes
No
★ Ideally, who would you prefer be the main caretaker for your children when they are too young for school/preschool?
Me.
My spouse or partner.
Another family member.
A nanny.
★ Do you get depressed much?
Almost never, I’m happy!
Sometimes, when it’s a bad day
Yeah, despair is my life
★ Is a sinful or immoral thought just as bad as acting on that thought?
Yes, it’s just as bad.
No, it’s not as bad.
A thought can’t be sinful or immoral.
I’m not sure.
★ When you break up with someone, do you tell them the real reason(s) or do you try to let them down as easy as possible?
Tell the truth, no matter how much it hurts.
Go easy on them – they’ll hurt enough as it is.
I’ve never been the dump-er
Would you rather give a nice gift or receive one?
Give
Receive
How often were you picked on by other kids your age when you were growing up?
Very often.
Sometimes.
Rarely.
Never.
Do you put the shopping cart back at the grocery shop?
Yes
No, I just leave it in the parking lot
I don’t do this kind of grocery shopping
Do you have a nervous habit, like biting your nails?
Yes
No
★ When working in a group, you are most comfortable:
taking charge; no one can lead better than you
working together like a well-oiled machine
listening to anyone, as long as they’re in charge
doing youre own thing, groups are useless
Do you think taxes are justified?
Yes
No
Have you ever lied to a partner about your sexual history?
Yes
No
I’ve never discussed my sexual history like this
If you could triple your money by investing in a company whose business practices you disapproved of, would you invest?
Yes
No
★ If you found out that someone you were interested in has several other people interested in them too, how would this affect your behavior?
I’d work harder to attract them.
I’d be less likely to try with them.
It would not affect my behavior.
Are you comfortable with who you are?
Yes
No
Someone is staring at you, and you notice. Do you:
Stare back intensely until he/she looks away?
Look away first, or immediately?
Raise an eyebrow (or two)?
Say something lame? ‘Take a picture…’
When using a computer, at a desk, do you:
Sit painfully erect
Have good posture
Slouch a bit
Slump on the desk
While drinking in an out-of-the-way bar, you see a friend’s spouse having a romantic tC3AAte-C3A0-tC3AAte. Do you mention it to your friend?
Yes
No
★ As a rule of thumb, how many serious prior relationships should a person have had before they are experienced enough to make a marriage decision?
Four or more.
Two or three.
One.
Zero.
Anyone can be financially successful, if only they’re willing to try.
True
False
Pretend time! Say someone (who lives far away but somewhere you’ve wanted to go for a long time) messages you online. Having a great time talking for an hour or so, they offer to fly you there the next day to meet them. What do you do?
Yay! I’m there first thing tomorrow!
Let me think about it and get back to you.
Decline politely.
What the hell? Block list.
Choose a romantic three day weekend with your significant other.
A fancy hotel.
A road trip to visit friends.
A camping trip.
Let’s stay at home.
Are you concerned with your image and the way others perceive you?
Very much so
Often, yes
A little bit
Not at all
Do you have an ex that you would really like to date again?
Yes
No
If you could save the life of an obscure endangered creature, or make a multi-million dollar profit, which would you choose?
Endangered creature
Money
★ If you had an eighteen year old son or daughter who wanted to become an adult film star, how would you react?
I would encourage him or her.
I would discourage him or her.
I would encourage my son, but not my daughter.
I would encourage my daughter, but not my son.
Is it logically inconsistent to support the death penalty but oppose abortion?
Yes
No
Would you date someone who has cold-sores (oral herpes)?
Yes
No
Is evil necessary in the world?
Yes
No
If you had a one-night stand DURING a relationship, would you confess to your mate?
Yes
No
Do you believe that adults should be able to carry firearms in public?
Yes
No
Would you consider performing anilingus on a partner who asked you to?
Yes
No
Are you going to run away as soon as it is commitment time?
Yes
No
Have you ever seen your bestfriend naked?
Yes
No
★ Do you feel guilty or bad after having sex?
Always
Sometimes
Never
I’m still a virgin.
Animal testing is…
Wrong
Not wrong
Do you know how to use a darkroom to develop negatives and prints?
Yes
Do darkrooms even exist anymore? 🙁
No
Have you ever tried silent dating?
Yes, and it was fun!
Yes, but I didn’t like it.
No.
Are your birth parents divorced?
Yes
No
They were never married!
Have you ever initiated contact with a friend who you hadn’t talked to in over a year just to see how they are doing?
Yes
No
Were you born on a Zodiac cusp? In other words, do you have two alternating Zodiac signs?
Yes
Aries/Pisces… water to douse the flames… smoke
No
I’m Not Sure
Do you have a recording of yourself singing?
Yes
No
If you want to get to the top of the stairs sooner, do you:
Skip steps
Go faster without skipping
Did you ever study Latin, Ancient Greek, or any other dead language, for at least a year?
Yes
No
When you don’t know a word, do you look up its definition?
Yes
No
Can you read sheet music?
Yes
No
Do you have a photographic memory?
Yes
No
Do you own a record player?
Yes
No
Have you ever been a member of an organization like Girl Scouts, Girl Guides, Boy Scouts, or Campfire?
Yes
No
★ Are you comfortable with your sexual preference?
Yes
No
★ Do you chew tobacco?
Yes
No
Do you regularly paint or sculpt?
Yes
No
Do you have your own web page?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy crossword puzzles or jumbled word puzzles?
Yes
No
As an adult, have you ever been single for more than a year straight?
Yes
No
Have you ever written a book?
Yes
No
Has anyone ever written you a romantic poem?
Yes
No
Have you ever tried Yoga?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy learning about your heritage?
Yes
No
Do you wear a suit to work (or female equivalent)?
Yes
No
Have you ever skied, snowboarded, surfed, or wind-surfed?
Yes
No
Do you own any cookbooks?
Yes
No
Have you ever studied math BEYOND calculus?
Yes
No
If it was the 19th century and there was nothing better to do, I totally would, and be an amazing mathemetician at that.
Have you ever written a screenplay or stage play?
Yes, both.
No, neither.
Screenplay only.
Stage play only.
Do you know what the golden spiral is?
Yes
No
Did you ever receive any sort of non-athletic award during your years in school?
Yes
No
Do you know how to drive a stick shift (manual transmission)?
Yes
No
★ Have you ever had cosmetic plastic surgery?
Yes
No
I’d rather not say
Do you play any musical instruments?
Yes
No
Could you name 5 impressionists, and a painting by each?
Yes
No
Which are you better at remembering, names or faces?
Names.
Faces.
Are you really good at understanding people quickly?
Yes
No
Do you know any programming languages?
Yes
No
Have you ever cried during a movie?
Yes
No
Would you ever stop dating someone just because you discovered their parents were hideously ugly?
Yes
No
Have you ever worked in a customer service job?
Yes
No
Does the fact that you have never done something before, USUALLY increase or decrease its appeal?
Increase
Decrease
Have you ever started your own business?
Yes
No
Homemade/handmade gifts are more…
Thoughtful in a good way
Cheap in a bad way
Do you listen to podcasts?
Yes, frequently.
Yes, once in a while.
No.
Have you ever traveled around another country alone?
Yes
No
Do you currently grow any of your own food?
Yes
No
Is taking care of your body important to you?
Yes
No
Do you see a doctor for a yearly check-up?
Yes
No
Do you own shares in companies traded on a stock exchange?
Yes
No
Do you talk in your sleep?
Yes / Sometimes
No / Very Rarely
I’m Not Sure / Maybe
Do you keep a blog (online journal)?
Yes
No
Have you ever lived outside the country of your citizenship for a single period that exceeds three months?
Yes
No
Electric current is best described as:
Channelled fire
A stream of electrons
A controlled, focused beam of light
Polarized hydrogen atoms, moving in parallel
When was your favorite book written? If you have more than one favorite, pick your favorite period of literature.
Pre-1700 (Renaissance/medieval/classical/ancient)
1700-1900 (Elizabethan, Romantic, Victorian, et)
1900-1945ish (Modern)
1950s or later (Contemporary)
Do you know CPR?
Yes
No
Only the basics/never finished the course.
Have you performed in a theater setting as an adult?
Yes, as a professional.
Yes, as a student.
Yes, as a hobby.
No.
Have you ever seen a therapist?
Yes
No
Can you recite any written literary work from memory, including a favourite poem?
No
Yes
Have you performed any charity work in the last year? (We mean labor, not donating money)
Yes
No
Do you feel nauseated at the sight of blood?
Yes, if it’s someone else’s.
Yes, if it’s mine.
Yes to both above.
No
Have you ever intentionally left a book in a public place, hoping someone else would pick it up and read it?
Yes
I left 1000 Plateus by Deleuze and Guattari in a museum, hoping someone would enjoy that god-awful book more than I did.
No
If you discovered upon death that you must reincarnate into an animal, but are only allowed a broad choice as follows, which would you select?
An animal that lives on land.
An animal that lives in the water.
An animal that can fly.
Do you currently own a library card?
Yes
No
Do you wear dentures?
Yes, full.
Yes, partial.
No.
No, but I should.
Have you ever raised an animal for food?
Yes
No
Do you bite your toenails?
Yes
No
Have you ever written a song?
Yes
No
Do you have a really good relationship with both your parents?
Yes
No
Do you take pills when you have a headache?
Yes
No
Would you, or did you, go to your 10-year high school reunion?
Yes
No, but I wanted to
No
It’s this year and located half-way around the world. Wouldn’t go if it was half-way around the block.
Do people tend to turn to you for answers pertaining to subjects you know little about?
Yes
No
Have you ever been arrested, even if just for a small crime or misdemeanor?
Yes
No
★ Have you ever been outside of your own country?
Yes
No
Are you a highly skilled writer?
Yes
No
Do you have a current passport?
Yes
No
Do you say ‘Thank you’ to wait staff when served in a restaurant?
Always.
Most of the time.
Occasionally.
Never.
What kind of education did you have growing up?
Private school.
Public school.
Home school.
Some combination of the above.
Do you have dessert after dinner?
Yes, often
No
Sometimes
Do you know the square root of 256 off the top of your head?
Yes
No
Do you generally finish all of the food on your plate?
Yes
No
Do you pay your bills in full and on time, every month?
Yes
No
Do you know who wrote: “Was this the face that launched a thousand ships/And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?”
Yes
No
Do you like stand-up comedy?
Yes
No
★ Do you have any credit cards?
Yes
No
Do you currently own or have you ever owned a suit/dress that cost $1000 or more?
Yes
No
I still fit in the same suit I wore to prom in 2001. I wore it to my grandma’s funeral last year.
Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents?
Yes
No
Would you be turned on by your partner undressing you before sex?
Yes
No
Have you ever been barred from a bar for any reason other than being underaged?
Yes, permanently.
Yes, but only temporarily.
No.
★ Do you enjoy learning about other cultures?
Yes
No
★ What portion of your friends are citizens of a country other than your own?
All or most.
Many.
One, two or a few.
None.
Do you understand quantum physics?
Yes / Some
No
One of my biggest regrets (seriously) is taking Oceanography over Physics to fill the science requirement in college.
Have you ever had an abortion/requested a mate to get one?
Yes
No
These are two separate questions but no to both.
Can you name 5 operas, and their composers?
Yes
No
Do you know and enjoy chess?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy keeping up to date with the latest technology news?
Yes
No
Sensors and 3D are great and all… but I’m interested in mind control.
Break-ups. Which has happened more?
Usually I break up with them
Usually they break up with me
It’s been equal on both sides.
If possible, would you prefer to date someone a lot more attractive than you, or about the same?
A lot more attractive
About the same
Can you name 5 directors and a film that each made, from before 1980?
Yes
No
Do you like logic puzzles?
Yes
No
★ Do you own a fur coat?
Yes
No
★ Do you have a good imagination?
Yes
No
Do you iron your own clothes?
Yes
No
Do you crack your knuckles?
Yes
No
Would you rather a partner who:
Says I love you, but doesn’t seem to show it.
Shows they love you, but never says it.
Have you ever created a piece of art for a friend, just because you were thinking of them?
Yes
No
To your knowledge, do people have an unusual or humorous nickname for you?
Yes, and I like it.
Yes, but I don’t like it.
No.
Do you hold the door open for someone behind you?
Yes
No
Only if they look like they need help
Do you write poetry?
Yes
No
When cooking food in the microwave, do you often impatiently hit the cancel button within the last few seconds rather than waiting?
Yes
No
I don’t have/use a microwave
Do you like to listen to audiobooks?
Yes.
No.
I’ve never tried
Those ___ want ___ go, ___.
two, to, too
to, to, to
too, two, to
two, too, too
In high school, were you one of the “cool” kids?
Yes
No
Should children be taught self defense?
Yes
No
Do you hitchhike?
Yes
No
Could you sustain a serious relationship with someone who earns considerably less than you?
Yes
No
★ Do you often sing or whistle, just for fun?
Yes
No
★ Do you hang out with the same group of friends almost every time you go out?
Yes
No
Do you have a distinctive laugh?
Yes
No
Parlez-vous franC3A7ais?
Yes
No
What?
Oui, je fais
Have you created a ‘Things To Do Before I Die’ list?
Yes
No
When it comes to music, do you have a strong preference for male or female vocals?
Yes – male vocals.
Yes – female vocals.
No, not really.
I prefer instrumental or non-vocal-driven music.
Have you ever been described as “fidgety”?
Yes
No
Once or twice
Have ever performed CPR on a real person?
Yes.
No, but I’ve been trained to.
No, and I don’t know how to.
Do you have a car?
Yes
No
Have you ever tracked someone down just to apologize for something that you did years before?
Yes
No
Do you have a thing for foreign accents?
Yes
No
★ Are your decisions generally more pro-active or reactive?
Pro-active
Reactive
Were you born in the United States?
Yes
No
For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing?
Yes
No
Do most tough life problems have a solution?
Yes
No
How much time do you spend doing volunteer work each week?
None
Less than 5 hours
5 to 10 hours
More than 10 hours
★ Have you ever stood someone up on a date? (not shown up at the arranged time and didn’t call to cancel ahead of time)
Yes
No
Do you have a vanity license plate?
Yes
No, absolutely not
No, but I want one
Do you enjoy being photographed?
Yes
No
Who would you lie to first..
A Friend
A Parent
A Sibling
Have you made special efforts to keep any favorite toys from your childhood?
Yes
No
Have you ever fully read a book over 1000 pages?
Yes
No
Do you read in the bathroom?
Yes, usually.
No, never.
Sometimes.
Would you consider dating a widow or widower?
Yes
No
Other things being equal, would you prefer a job that requires you to be mostly on your feet or mostly sitting down?
Mostly on my feet.
Mostly sitting down.
Can you identify a French Manicure?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
What is a manicure?
★ If your friend had really bad breath, would you tell them?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy creating mathematical problems to solve by yourself?
Yes
No
Has any person or organization ever filed a restraining order against you?
Yes
No
★ Do you currently subscribe to any pay-for-play online games?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy improvisational comedy?
Yes
No
Would speaking in front of a large group make you nervous?
Yes
No
Are we ever going to have those flying cars they’ve been promising us?
Yes
No
Do you, or have you ever, read a text book or technical manual for fun/pleasure?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating a psychiatrist?
Yes
I tried for one who was one on OKCupid once; wanted to charge me for sessions!
No
Do you read fan fiction?
Yes.
No.
I don’t know.
Do you find people from different countries more interesting, on average?
Yes
Most of my friends are not American or British, interestingly.
No
★ Have you ever donated blood?
Yes, and I still do
Yes, but I don’t want to again/didn’t like it
I have but consistently getting tattooed now makes me ineligible.
No, I’m ineligible
No
★ Do you wear expensive designer clothes?
Yes
No
You wake up 20 minutes before your alarm is scheduled to go off. What do you do?
Get up
Go back to sleep till the alarm goes off
★ If you saw a really fantastic magic trick performed, would you want to know the secret behind how it was done?
Yes
No
Have you ever turned down a date, for any reason?
Yes
No
Do you have a survival kit prepared just in case a disaster occurs and normal services are disrupted for an extended period of time?
Yes
No
Have you ever had a precognitive dream?
Yes
No
Have you typically researched the policies of companies before you bought products from them?
Yes
GoodGuide iPhone app has a product scanner, makes knowing more about stuff easier!
No
★ Are you interested in learning to speak another language?
Yes
No
On average, how do your friends compare to you, age-wise?
They’re mostly older than I
But my past lovers are usually younger!
They’re mostly younger than I
They’re about the same age
I don’t have that many friends
Do you read the news most days?
Yes
No
Have you ever read Shakespeare, other than for a class?
Yes
No
If someone compliments you, aren’t they usually trying to get something from you?
Yes
No
What’s the gender distribution of the vocalists in your music collection?
Mostly female singers.
Nearly the same male and female.
Mostly male singers.
I have little or no music collection with vocals.
If while visiting a friend’s house, you notice a painting hanging slightly off kilter. Do you adjust it?
Yes
No
Do you know all the words of your national anthem?
Yes
No
Would you ever date someone who worked at a high-risk job? (Law Enforcement, Fire Dept, etc.)
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ Are you comfortable eating with chopsticks?
Yes
No
Would you say you have…
A green thumb
A black thumb
A modicum of success with vegetation
Absolutely no interest in plants
Do you like word games like Scrabble or Boggle?
Yes
No
★ When taking a cab, do you like talking to the driver?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you think most people your age would guess what kinds of music you listen to or don’t listen to just by looking at you?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy gardening?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Can you name five current world leaders?
Yes
No
★ Do you enjoy taking pictures of yourself?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
★ Have you ever recited a poem that you did not write to someone as a means of expressing your mood or feelings?
Yes
No
★ Do you like to surround yourself with pictures of loved ones?
Yes
No
Ugh, irritating when someone has their ENTIRE family plastered all over their walls.
★ Would you be able to tell a Manet painting from a Monet painting?
Yes
No
What?
During conversation, do you gesticulate?
Yes. Often.
No. Never.
Perhaps occasionally.
I’m not sure.
Do you like to interpret your own dreams?
Yes
No
Have you ever purposely pretended to be ignorant about something you have knowledge of because you wanted to hear someone else explain it?
Yes
No
Do you more often get angry with yourself or with other people?
Myself
Others
If you’re wrong, do you have a hard time apologizing?
Yes
No
★ Where do you spend the majority of your time not including work or sleep?
At home.
Away from home.
Do you think most people are lonely?
Yes
No
I think taking this question in the context of the world and not just westernized societies that prize individualism, probably not.
You’re dating someone new. You discover that they have a housemate the same gender as you. This:
Makes you feel uncomfortable
Doesn’t faze you one bit
★ Are you more of a fast or careful talker?
Fast
Careful
★ Would you consider attending the wedding of a relative you haven’t seen since childhood?
Yes, no matter what.
No, they’re not a part of my life anymore.
Depends on the circumstances. Distance, time, etc
Are you likely to make long, friendly conversation with strangers?
Yes
No
Think of when you were a little kid and choose the most appropriate answer.
I got in trouble all the time
I never got in trouble
I never got in trouble because I never got caught
★ Do you enjoy chatting on the phone with your friends?
Yes
No
Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before actually having them?
Yes
No
★ Do you stay updated on world events?
Yes
No
★ How many hours a day do you prefer to sleep?
Around 8 hours
A lot less than 8 hours
More than 8 hours
★ Receiving anal sex?
I like it / I think I might like it
I don’t like it / I don’t think I would like it
Do you tend to be attracted to people who remind you of old loves?
Yes
No
I’ve never loved
Do you routinely find yourself picking up on the logical fallacies in things people say?
Yes
No
I can spot bs, but failed Logic, so no.
Would you rather have complete mastery of one skill or be good at many?
Complete mastery of one.
Good at many.
Have you ever stolen a glass from a bar?
Yes
No
When buying groceries, do you usually bring reusable bags to carry your food in?
Yes
No
★ When purchasing groceries, do you help bag your own items?
Yes.
I made this question. This is primarily for the Americans to answer. Nothing annoys me more than when someone stands there and doesn’t help the cashier/bagger with bagging their own stuff!
No.
Sometimes/It depends.
A photographer approaches you on the street and asks to take your picture. What do you do?
Pose for them
Politely refuse
Does the idea of time travel appeal to you?
Yes
No
Which of these four planets in our solarsystem would be closest to your own characteristics?
Mars; cold, aggressive and/or inhospitable
Pluto; distant, mysterious and/or hard-to-get
Venus; warm, embracing and/or passive
Jupiter; impressive, bright and/or active
Have you ever arranged to have a friend call you while you were on a date to provide an excuse in the event that you might want to end it early?
Yes
No
Do you have any close friends who are more than ten years older or younger than you?
Yes, they are more than ten years older than I.
Yes, they are more than ten years younger than I.
Yes, both of the above.
No.
Would you be interested in running for any public office? (Mayor, Governor, Senate, President, etc.)
Yes
No
Do you believe that mind and body are separate entities (Dualism) or do you believe that they are in a state of unity? (Monism)
Monism
Dualism
A bit of both
Uncertain
Do you wear a lot of black?
Yes
No
Would you buy cigarettes for a fifteen year old who asked you to?
Yes
No
Is your alarm clock :
Your best friend.
The bane of your existence.
Useful, unless I’m hungover.
Useless; I have an internal clock.
When you see something on sale that’s buy one, get one free, does it make you want to buy it even if you don’t need it?
Yes
No
★ Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Yes
No
Have you ever dyed your hair a real crazy, unnatural color?
Yes
crimson red, orange, black, blonde/black
No
Have you ever taken free furniture somebody else left at the side of the road for use in your home?
Yes
No
Have you made plans to survive a natural or man-made disaster where you live?
Yes
No
★ Do you feel that you have learned from past relationships?
Yes.
I fear people who don’t.
No.
I’m not sure.
★ How fast do you walk?
I walk quickly.
I’m in the middle.
I walk slowly.
★ Are you very close to your family?
Yes
No
Is it okay to recycle other people’s jokes and use them as your own?
Yes
No
★ Would you ever ask your parent(s) for love advice?
Yes
No
Is there something you do that you are one of the best in the world at?
Yes
No
Does SCUBA diving interest you?
Yes, and I am a diver.
Yes, but I am not a diver.
No, but I used to dive.
No, and I don’t want to dive.
Have you ever been ashamed of being in love with someone?
Yes
No
Have you ever skinny-dipped?
Yes
No
If you had first pick one of three desks, which one would you choose?
Conventional (spacious and most functional)
Artistic (eg. shaped like a lion)
Family Heirloom (five generations)
Have you ever gone white water rafting?
Yes, I love it
I didn’t love it but I would do it again.
No, never
Yes, but never again
No, but I’d like to
Do your parents have strong opinions about what kind of person you should marry?
Yes
No
When you get home, do you usually want to tell someone about your day?
Yes
No
★ Would you swim in a natural body of water without being able to see or touch the bottom?
Yes.
No.
I can’t swim.
Are some of your best friends people you met or know online?
Yes
No
Do you hit the snooze button more than once on a typical morning?
Yes
No
If you could only keep one sense, what would it be?
Sight
Hearing
Touch
Smell
Other than for costumes, do you purchase and wear second hand/vintage clothes?
Yes
No
★ Do you enjoy visiting libraries?
Yes
No
Can most babysitters be trusted with children?
Yes
No
If you had to guess, do you think humans will go extinct in the next 1000 years?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating a deaf person?
Yes
No
Do you like reggae music a lot?
Yes
No
Do you find it easy to talk to members of the opposite sex?
Yes, almost always
No, often not
Did you have childhood heroes? If so, were they real people or fictional characters?
No, I did not have a childhood hero.
Real people.
Fictional characters.
Both.
Would a partner with big hands and feet (bigger than average) turn you off?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Have you ever broken up with someone without being face-to-face?
Yes, I wrote them a letter.
Yes, I did it over the phone.
Yes, I did it online.
No.
Have you ever stolen anything from a partner?
Yes
No
★ Would you rather have:
A thoughtful and personal gift
A cash gift of twice the value
★ Are you almost always on time?
Yes
No
★ Do you make impulse purchases a lot, like gadgets you don’t need, or clothes that are too expensive?
Yes
No
You realize after about two minutes that you’ve accidentally given a stranger incorrect directions. You are both traveling on foot. You:
Try to catch up and remedy this
Let somebody else worry about it
★ How organized are the files on your computer?
Very – Many Folders and Subfolders
Somewhat – I can find most things
Scattered – Everything thrown together
Do you own anything “lucky,” a charm, religious symbol, an item of clothing, or a keepsake that you think helps things turn out your way?
Yes
No
★ When you’re around new people, are you more of a leader, or are you more cooperative?
More of a leader
More cooperative
Do you ever give money to street performers?
Yes
No
Have you ever formed an opinion about a stranger in a grocery store, based primarily on the items he or she is buying?
Yes
No
Have you ever entered into a relationship out of desperation?
Yes
No
Have you ever considered taking some sort of official position in an organized religion?
Yes
No
★ When it comes to travel, which do you prefer, trains, planes, or automobiles?
Trains.
Planes.
Automobiles.
I don’t have a favorite.
Do you feel you were born in the correct era/time period?
Yes, I love the current times!
No, I should’ve been born in the future.
No, I should’ve been born in the recent past.
No, I should’ve been born in the distant past.
Do you like to play contact sports?
Yes
I do, but I don’t play much anymore.
No
★ If you walked in on your partner masturbating, what would best describe your reaction?
Disgust / Horror
Anger
Arousal
Have you ever feigned interest in a person you were not interested in just for the attention?
Yes
No
Imagine you are part of an expedition into a dark and foreboding forest. Where in relation to the group would you prefer to walk?
Scouting alone in front of the group.
Near the front.
Near the rear.
In the middle.
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes
No
Might you laugh at someone who asked you out, if you were not interested?
Yes
No
Is it easy for you to throw away things that you don’t really use anymore?
Yes
No
How often do you walk around barefoot?
Always
Often
Rarely
Never
Imagine you are put on hold while making a call. A song you like comes on while you wait. Would you sing along?
Yes, definitely.
Probably.
Probably not.
No, defintely not.
For a pet, would you prefer:
one from the pound
one from a champion breeder
Do people tend to take you seriously, or usually think you’re being sarcastic?
Serious
Sarcastic
How many fortnights are in a year?
52
14
26
365
★ Is it ok for a woman to ask a man out on a date?
Yes, it’s perfectly ok
Yes, but it comes across as desperate
No
Do you write creatively (novels, plays, poetry, and so forth)?
Call me Shakespeare
Yes; only for assignments, though
Not really / no
Do most politicians really want to make the world a better place?
Yes
No
If you found yourself falling in love with someone but weren’t sure if they fully returned the feeling would you:
Keep things going and see what happens.
Distance yourself from them to prevent heartache.
Have you ever donated your money or your time to a political campaign or political organization?
Yes
No
★ Are bookstores fun?
Yes
No
Do you use hand sanitizer?
Yes
No
Have you ever scolded another adult in public for their bad behavior?
Yes
90% of the time it’s smoking
No
Do you have strong feelings about what kind of computer you use? (Apple, PC, or UNIX, for example)
Yes
No
Which of these is likely to make you more nervous?
A promising first date
An important interview
Have you ever dated someone you didn’t even like out of sheer loneliness?
Yes
No
Would you rather be famous and hated, or slip through the cracks?
Famous and hated
Slip through the cracks
Do you like going to the movies alone?
Yes
No
Is it *really* ok for men to cry?
Yes
No
Is it easy for you to apologize when you know you have made a mistake?
Yes
No
Are carbohydrates something you think about?
Yes
No
If there were a political candidate who you really liked, how would you offer support in terms of time or money?
I’d devote time to work on the campaign.
I’d donate money or other tangible resources.
I’d do both of the above.
I’d do none of the above.
What’s the best way to handle a bad kisser?
Ignore it
Teach them
Dump them
Excluding childhood fights, have you ever punched someone in the face?
Yes
No
When a date is coming to your house do you strategically place things (for example: books, CDs, DVDs, gadgets, etc.) to project a certain image?
Yes
No
If you could read minds, would you tell anyone?
Yes
No
Which are you MORE of?
Talented
Hardworking
Do you like to watch the Olympic Games?
Yes, as much as possible.
No, they do not interest me.
I only watch certain events.
I only watch athletes from my country.
If a close friend doesn’t call you for a week, do you start worrying that he hates you?
Yes
No
Are you registered or have you otherwise signed up as an organ donor?
Yes
No
★ Would you rather stay in an unhealthy relationship, or be single?
Stay
Be single
Have you kept any old love letters from ex-lovers?
Yes
No
I’ve never gotten any to keep.
If you had a partner who was cheating on you, would you want to know?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you have a problem with people who wear leather clothing?
Yes
No
★ Do you tend to blow off your responsibilities?
Yes
No
★ Do you have any gay, bisexual, or transgender friends?
Yes
No
In nice restaurants, do you always put your napkin in your lap?
Yes
No
Do you have any irrational fears?
Yes
No
Are you totally comfortable being naked around your partner, not just during sex?
Yes
No
Would you prefer to climb three floors of stairs, or wait five minutes for the elevator?
Climb three floors!
I’ll wait, thanks!
Would it be a problem for you if you discovered your partner is a terrible dancer?
Yes
No
When in a relationship is it ok to start saying “I love you”?
As soon as you think you feel it.
After one month if you feel it.
After several months if you feel it.
After at least a year if you feel it.
Is it acceptable for someone over the age of 20 to watch cartoons/read comic books?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Woo cartoons!
Your partner is an advocate for the GLBT community, would to support him/her by attending a GLBT meetings or gay pride celebrations?
Yes
No
Are you romantic?
Yes
No
Yes,but in a more intimate,close way
Are you, or have you ever been, in a band? (A solo act is fine, too. Don’t count school bands.)
Yes
No
Are nudity and pornography the same thing?
Yes
No
Would you ever wait beside the red carpet at an opening night or awards ceremony, just to catch a glimpse of your favourite celebrity?
Yes
No
Are you more likely to hold a grudge or forgive someone?
Hold a grudge
Forgive
Have you made fun of anyone recently, knowing that it probably upset them?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy any of the following cards games: Cribbage, Canasta, Gin, Euchre, Hearts, Spades, Pinochle?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
★ Which of the following is MORE important to you:
Finding someone I love and want to be with
Having children
Do you think most people who are happy in relationships are just lying to themselves?
Yes
No
It’s important that I smell good.
True
False
Would you like to go birdwatching with your partner?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you go to LAN parties?
Yes
No
What’s a ‘LAN party’?
Do people that you’ve dated/tried to date ever tell you that you’re just too “nice”?
Yes
No
Are you quietly angry a lot of the time?
Yes
No
Are you an insomniac?
Yes
No
Occasionally
If you dislike your food in a restaurant, do you typically send it back?
Yes
No
Is it easy for you to dispose of things that you really don’t use anymore?
Yes
No
Would you prefer it if fashion models were the same size and bodytype as the average citizen?
Yes
No
In general, how relaxed are you on a first date?
First dates make me nervous.
Maybe a few butterflies.
No worries.
Do you read erotic fiction?
Yes
No
Can you accept a mate’s limitations without judgment?
Yes
No
★ Has anyone ever accused you of being “high maintenance”?
Yes
No
Is it wrong to date someone in your workplace?
Yes
No
If you turn a left-handed glove inside out, it fits…
On my left hand
On my right hand
Would you want to be the leader of your country?
Yes.
No, I don’t think I’d be best for the job.
No, I wouldn’t want that much responsibility.
I’m not sure.
When you ride an (uncrowded) escalator, do you…
Take steps up
Enjoy the ride
I’m afraid of escalators
After a date, have you ever told someone that you are going to call them, but not done it?
Yes
No
How much does the sound of a person’s voice affect their attractiveness to you?
A lot
A little
Not at all
You are at a restaurant and there is something very minor wrong with your food. It won’t kill you to eat it or around it. What do do you do?
Send it back.
Ignore it and don’t complain.
Mention it to the server but eat it anyways.
Do you have good posture?
Yes
No
Sometimes, when the situation calls for it
Would you honestly answer any question concerning your sexual history that a partner might ask?
Yes
No
Reflect back upon yourself of five years past. How much have you changed as a person?
I am exactly the same person I was then.
I’ve changed a little.
I’ve changed a lot.
I am a completely different person.
Suppose your match confessed that he/she practices a martial art (such as kung fu, boxing, karate, etc), how would you react?
Turned on
Turned off
Doesn’t matter
Not sure
If you were to have children, would breast-feeding be something that you would prefer for them?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Have you kept something about yourself secret, most of your life, because you were afraid of others rejecting you?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
You are offered a choice of free training in Martial Arts or Cooking. Which do you take?
Martial Arts
Cooking
★ Do you try to eat healthy, or do you just eat whatever you feel like?
Healthy
Give me the junk food
★ Do you believe that there should be laws to explicitly protect freedom of religion?
Yes
No
Do you like coffee?
Yes. I need it to function.
Yes, but I can do without it.
No.
Who most often does your laundry?
I do it myself.
A friend, relative, or spouse does it.
A laundry service does it.
My clothes are never washed.
Would you like to be famous?
Yes
No
Have you ever hired a prostitute for yourself?
Yes
No
Are you better at dealing with details or the big picture?
I tend to look at the big picture.
I am more detail oriented.
I handle both equally well.
Are you intimidated by a partner who is more sexually experienced than you?
Yes
No
Have you ever intentionally failed at a task you knew you could do well, just so you would never be asked to do it again?
Yes
No
After you make a decision, is it usually final?
Yes
No
★ Do you live with your parent(s)?
Yes
No
Do you think most people tell at least one lie most days?
Yes
No
Do you find that extremely intelligent people are intimidating?
Yes
No
Do you think it would be interesting to watch a tornado in person?
Yes
No
How important is it for you to see movies on opening night?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
I don’t go to the cinema.
Would you like to fast-forward to a different stage in your life?
Yes
No
Are you a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA)?
No
No, but sounds interesting.
Yes
Do you find freckles attractive?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
It depends
Have you ever fired a real gun? For this question, pellet/BB/Nerf/paintball weapons do not qualify. If so, which most closely describes the deadliest type you have fired?
No.
Rifle / carbine / pistol / shotgun.
Machine gun / fully automatic / assault weapon.
Tank gun / naval gun / anti-tank / other cannon.
Have you ever considered joining the Peace Corps or another similar “intensive” volunteer program?
Yes
No way
If you had the opportunity to drink from the fountain of youth and revert to a younger age, would you?
Yes
No
Would you like to eventually become the oldest living person?
Yes
No
Which is more difficult for you?
Confronting people I’m close to.
Confronting people I don’t know well.
Both are equally difficult.
Neither, I will confront anyone with ease.
Would you turn down a potential date because one of your friends thought the person was ugly?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
You’re shopping for something and have three versions to choose from. Which do you pick?
The one with the most style.
The one with the most features.
The one with the lowest price.
If someone you were interested in told you that they don’t have many friends, would this affect your opinion of them?
Yes
No
What kind of movie would you be most likely to play a leading part in?
Action
Drama
Comedy
Horror
Imagine that you let a friend borrow your car. They call you and say they’ve just been in an accident. Which would be closest to your reaction?
Are you ok?
How bad is my car?
Whose fault was it?
How could you let this happen?
What is more important for you? To gain new things or to keep what you already have?
Gain new things
Keep what I already have
★ Should sex education be taught in schools?
Yes
No
I don’t know
Do you need to improve yourself?
Yes
No
Do you consider something candle-lit (dinner, bed, whatever) to be more romantic, or more tacky?
More romantic
More tacky
Not sure
As an adult, have you ever cried just to get what you wanted?
Yes
No
Which of these options most closely describes what you’re looking for in your next relationship?
Someone to come home to
Someone to go out with
Someone for tonight
★ Do you like traveling?
Yes
No
Do you talk to and or have conversations with yourself, either outloud or in your head?
Yes, outloud
Yes, in my head
Yes, both
No, neither
Would you like to serve as a juror in a murder trial?
Yes
No
When playing games with friends, which is more important to you?
Winning.
Having fun.
Neither, I do not play games with my friends.
I don’t have any friends.
Is it difficult for you to fall asleep next to someone new for the first time?
Yes.
No.
Sometimes.
I’m not sure.
Have you ever led someone on romantically just for fun?
Yes
No
Would you date someone who is (or was) in a fraternity or sorority?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ Do you like old black-and-white movies?
Yes, they’re great!
No, they’re boring!
I don’t know/I haven’t seen any
Is it better to live by your own moral standards and allow others to live by theirs, or is it better to press your moral standards upon other people?
Live and let live
Press those morals!
★ Is owning a distinctive car important to you?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who is a full-time student?
Yes
No
Do you feel that it is acceptable for people to celebrate festivals that are associated with religions other than their own?
Yes
No
Do you borrow books from public libraries?
Regularly.
Occasionally.
Never.
Would you change your ethnicity if you could?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, if it was temporary.
When you see a person who is the picture of elegance and beauty, how do you feel?
Annoyed
Intimidated
Attracted
Indifferent
If you gave a friend a copy of your favorite book and found out months later that they still had not even started reading it, would you be upset?
Yes.
No.
Not applicable. I would not give someone a book.
Do you feel that your values or priorities vary wildly from those of your peers?
Yes
No
Long walks on the beach…
So romantic!
So cheesy!
How many instruments do you play?
None, and I don’t care
None, but I’d like to
1 or 2
3 or more
Can you tell a lot about a person from their taste in literature?
Yes
No
Would you consider going on a television show to get a date or meet a mate?
Yes
No
Do you think that if had you been born in another part of the world, your religious beliefs would likely be significantly different?
Yes
No
Has anyone ever told you that you are intimidating?
Yes
No
Would you ever consider taking a vow of silence for a month?
Yes
No
If you were driving and suddenly noticed that the car behind you was a police car, how would you feel?
Comforted.
Uneasy.
Indifferent.
I don’t drive.
When telling stories, do you like to exaggerate?
Yes
No
Which of the following do you most look forward to as you get older?
More privileges.
More experience.
Better health.
More money.
Do you enjoy reading religious texts that do not match your own religious beliefs?
Yes
No
Which would you prefer to wear to work?
Something more formal, like a suit.
Something more or less business casual.
Something very casual, like jeans and a t-shirt.
Have you ever started a fist fight in public?
Yes
Yes, but I regret it.
No
Would you ever or have you ever gone out on a “pity” date?!
Yes, I would
No
Yes, I have
A what?
★ Are you more your own biggest fan or your own toughest critic?
Biggest fan.
Toughest critic.
Neither.
Would you be able to date someone who stuttered?
Yes
Maybe
No
Have you ever helped to give birth to a human or an animal?
Yes, I’m a doctor.
Yes, I have assisted in the birthing process.
No, but I’m not afraid if the chance arises.
Gross
When ordering food at a new restaurant, you:
Order something safe and familiar
Try something you’ve never tried before
Ask someone else to decide
It depends on the restaurant and my mood
★ What was the duration of your longest close-friendship?
More than five years.
One to five years.
Less than one year.
I’ve never had a close friend.
Of the following, who do you most often go to for advice?
A friend.
A family member.
A professional.
I don’t get advice from any of the above.
★ Do you listen to conservative talk radio?
Yes
No
When sick, do you prefer the company of others or to be left alone?
I prefer company.
I prefer to be left alone.
Would you consider dating someone who is prone to seizures?
Yes
No
Have you ever been to a sex shop?
Yes
No
Do you mind getting really dirty working or playing outside?
No – I’m never clean!
No – I clean up well.
Yes – I hate dirt!
Do you care about the plight of aboriginal people whose land has been taken away from them?
Yes
No
Do scars turn you on?
Yes
No
Do you have strong intuition?
Yes.
No.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Which one of these comic book archetypes do you most closely identify with?
Superhero.
Villain.
Vigilante.
Sidekick.
How often do creative thoughts keep you from sleeping?
Constantly.
Occasionally.
Rarely.
Never.
Would you consider dating someone who frequently gambles with large sums of money?
Yes
No
You’re having an involved, but friendly, argument with a close friend. Suddenly, you realize you’re wrong for a reason that you are sure no one else has considered. What do you do?
Continue arguing – Win at all costs
Continue arguing, discreetly changing the subject
Stop the argument without explanation
Concede and explain why
★ Is it important to you to have the last word in an argument?
Yes
No
Do you believe dreams have hidden meanings to them?
Yes
No
If you were telling someone a story that you had told them before, how would you prefer that they react?
Like they hadn’t heard it before
Interrupt and let me know they’ve heard it already
Let me finish and then tell me it is a repeat
How spicy do you like your spicy food?
I like it extremely spicy.
I like it hot.
I like it a little spicy.
I prefer it be mild.
★ Is your car important to you?
Yes
No
Not applicable
Have you ever had an undeniably supernatural experience?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone a LOT more sexually experienced than you?
Yes
No
Do you find flamboyantly dressed folk attractive?
Yes
No
Depends on the person
To what extent is your mood affected by the appearance of your surroundings?
Completely.
Moderately.
Slightly.
Not at all.
Other than when going to bed for the night, how often do you fall asleep while watching TV?
Frequently.
Occasionally.
Never.
★ Have you stayed friends with most of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends?
I’m friends with all/most of them.
I’m friends with a few of them.
I’m not friends with any of them.
I don’t have any ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.
When in charge of others, how do you tend to be?
Firm and demanding
Helpful and understanding
If you were on the phone with the customer service department of a large company and not getting what you want, what sort of tone would you be most likely to take with the representative?
Angry.
Calm.
Sad.
Sexy.
Do you believe it is important to stay informed about political issues affecting your nation?
Yes
No
When buying new clothing, do you usually consider whether or not it was produced under safe and fair working conditions?
Yes.
No.
I don’t buy new clothing.
Do you ever wear undergarments generally associated with the opposite sex?
Yes
No
★ How good are you at fixing things around the house?
I’m extremely handy – I can repair most anything.
I’m somewhat handy – I can fix many things.
I’m not very handy, but I can fix a some things.
I’m not at all handy.
Are you aware of the existence of any nude photos of yourself on the Internet?
Yes
No
★ Imagine you are having sex with a partner, who begins to give you specific instructions on how to best provide satisfaction. Assuming there is no danger, would you follow these instructions?
No. That would be the end of that encounter.
No. I’d continue doing it my way.
Yes, but I would be offended.
Yes. I’d be grateful for the communication.
When it comes to coordinating with friends to get together, do you typically inititate contact or wait for friends to contact you?
I typically initiate contact.
I typically wait to be contacted.
It’s about equal.
★ Which biological parent should have legal decision-making power in abortion decisions?
The mother.
The father.
Both.
Neither.
When hanging out with your friend(s), what’s the ideal group size counting yourself?
2
3-4
5-9
10+
Do you think that being smart is better than being effective?
Yes
No
When it comes to sports, do you usually prefer to play those that are individual- or team-oriented?
Team.
Individual.
Both.
Neither.
When something upsets you, what do you become more of?
Talkative and outreaching
Quiet and withdrawn
Do you wear different or special underwear when you go out on dates?
Yes
No
Which has shaped the course of world events more, love or hate?
Love
Hate
When you read a book or watch a movie, do you mind knowing the ending in advance?
Yes, this would spoil my enjoyment.
No, it wouldn’t bother me.
No, in fact, I prefer to know the ending first.
Do you believe that intelligence is a big factor in how long it takes a person to get angry or frustrated with something or someone?
People of higher intelligence are quick to anger
People of lower intelligence are quick to anger
Intelligence has nothing to do with it
Do you ever intentionally seek out reading material that fundamentally disagrees with your beliefs?
Yes
No
Do you prefer listening to studio recordings or recordings of live music?
Studio.
Live.
Neither.
★ Would you consider dating someone who was regularly seeing a therapist?
Yes
No
How often do you use euphemisms?
Often.
Sometimes.
Rarely/Never.
What are you talking about?
How do you refer to people in your age group?
boys and girls
men and women
chicks and dudes
it depends on individual maturity
The only available spot in the entire parking lot is reserved for the handicapped. You’re in a hurry and won’t be very long. Do you park there?
Yes, I am handicapped.
Yes, even though I am not handicapped.
No.
If given the opportunity, would you take lessons on how to swing-dance?
Yes
No
I already know how.
If your partner asked, would you take ballroom dancing lessons with them?
Yes, I’d like to.
Yes, but I would not enjoy it.
No, I would not.
Have you ever served or are you serving in your country’s military?
Yes
No, but I would consider it
No, I haven’t
Could you go out with someone you saw as “posh” or “preppy”?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Of these four educational subject areas, which is your favorite?
Language
Mathematics
Science
History
Would you donate one of your kidneys (assume you have 2) to save a child you didn’t know?
Yes
No
Do you get teary-eyed when when you watch a sad movie?
Yes, always.
Yes, often.
Yes, but only rarely.
No, never.
Do you believe that studying literature is beneficial?
Yes
No
A little grade 10 science. Ideal Gas Law?
PV 3D nRT
G + V 3D 1/T
y3Dmx+b
Not sure
Do you think it’s impolite for people who are not customers to use a store’s restroom?
Yes
No
★ Do you feel guilty when you masturbate?
Yes
No
Your friend is throwing a wine tasting party and you’re supposed to bring a wine to share. Which do you take?
An impressive wine that has won many awards.
My favorite wine, little known but awesome.
Whatever was on sale.
I wouldn’t bring any.
Would you date someone from another country?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
When it comes to activities and hobbies, do you more often participate in those which are traditionally thought of as male or female?
Mostly male.
Mostly female.
Equally male and female.
Neither male nor female.
Are you respectful of views that you disagree with?
Yes
No
Would you ever get on a motorcycle?
Yes
No
If your partner is sick, will you still kiss them?
Yes
No
Are you absent-minded?
Very
A bit
No
Do you know how to ride a bicycle?
Yes, I am very skilled.
Yes, I have the basics down.
No.
Do you feel Art has heavily influenced who you are?
Yes
No
Do you give in easily when pressured?
Yes
No
Do you think that someone’s choice of footwear can really say a lot about them?
Yes
No
Can two completely opposite statements both be true?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who believes that government should be as small as possible?
Yes
No
Do you own a proper tuxedo or evening gown that would be passable for a formal event?
Yes
No
Yes, but it’s a bit out of date
No, I refuse to dress up
Do you provide constructive critism to close friends even when you expect their initial reaction to be negative?
Yes
No
Your friends are:
mostly dudes
mostly ladies
a bit of both
Which of these cuisines is most appealing?
Thai
Indian
Italian
Mexican
Imagine that a friend of yours gives up a lucrative career as an executive of a multinational corporation to train as a a chef, claiming it as their true calling. What is your first reaction?
Good decision.
Are they crazy?
Would the world work better by your rules?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Do you like to play pranks on strangers?
Yes
No
Do you have any hobbies or activities that you enjoy totally alone, which would be ruined if anyone else tried to join in?
Yes
No
Can you tell a lot about a person from their handshake?
Yes
No
If you could take a pill—with no side effects—to make yourself smarter, faster, or stronger, would you?
Yes
No
Do you think sensuality and sexuality are two different things?
Yes
No
If a friend were telling a story about the two of you and misquoted you to make the story funnier, would you feel the need to correct the inaccuracy?
Yes.
No.
Only if the misquote reflected negatively on me.
Do you engage in intellectual foreplay?
Yes
No
Do you snore?
Yes
No
I don’t know / Maybe once in a while
Would you be interested in someone who is highly involved with their large, extended family?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Have you ever told someone that you loved them when you didn’t?
Yes
No
Do you prefer that people take their shoes off when coming into your home?
Yes
No
What should be done with your body after you die?
Bury me.
Cremate me.
By all means, please find a good taxidermist.
Something else.
Which of these is your most frequent partner in sexual fantasies?
Persons I’m currently obsessed or in love with.
Persons I’ve had sex with before, but don’t now.
Persons from the media (celebrities etc.).
A fantasy partner totally unrelated to reality.
Does music have a big influence on your life?
Yes
No
Would you date someone with a noticable physical disability?
Yes
No
★ Do you hunt animals for sport?
Yes
No
What’s most important to you?
Impressing people
Feeling good
Just making it through the day
have you ever tried singing karaoke in public?
Yes. I liked it!
Yes, but never again.
No, but I’d like to try.
No. I’d never do that!
Do you consider yourself a perfectionist?
Yes
No
★ Would you date someone whose family has an extensive history of divorce?
Yes, it’s not their fault
Yes, but I would be hesitant
No, I would be too concerned
I’m not sure
Which is your favorite sort of place to see a musical performance?
A huge arena or stadium
A symphony hall or a big assigned-seating venue
A small local club
A tiny dive bar
Would you consider yourself child like (not to be confused with childish), that is having an aura of innocence, a playful attitude, and an expression/feeling of awe at new things.
Yes
No
Are you patient?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
With whom would you rather enjoy a good movie?
Just me
A friend
A relative
A significant other
Have you ever had a period of your adult life when you were mostly just slacking?
Yes.
No.
In fact, I’m in one of those periods right now.
Which of the following most closely describes your demeanor in high stress situations?
Timid.
Panicked.
Short-tempered.
Considerate.
When it comes to outward expressions of emotion, would you say that you do this more or less than the average person?
More.
Less.
About the same as average.
Would you shave something you usually don’t because your partner asked you to?
Yes
No
★ Is there any aspect of your sexuality that you would be too embarrassed to ever share with a match?
Yes
No
★ Do you think safe sex should be taught in schools?
Yes
No
Have you ever had a sexual relationship with someone you met online?
Yes
No
Have you ever gone mountain climbing?
Yes, and I enjoyed it.
Yes, but I did not like it.
No, but I would like to some day.
No, and I do not want to.
Is it possible for a person to fall in love with the first person they ever date, get married, and live happily ever after, even though they never dated anyone else much less “played the field”?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
How many porn stars can you name off the top of your head?
None
Fewer than five
More than five
A LOT more than five
Do you loathe or tremendously dislike most of the people you encounter?
Yes
No
Have you ever taken a shower with a partner?
Yes
No
★ If you had to choose only one, how would you prefer to meet potential partners?
By random encounter / chance.
By arrangement through mutual friends.
By arrangement through family connections.
Through dating / matching services.
You climb into a large hot tub at your local gym and it is only then that you notice the couple opposite you are making out. Do you stay?
Yes
No
Is it more difficult to look into someone’s eyes when you are telling them how you feel or when they are telling you how they feel?
When I am telling them how I feel.
When they telling me how they feel.
Both are equally difficult for me.
Both are easy for me.
How often in conversation are you likely to use an exact quote from a movie, play, or TV show?
Once a day or more.
Every few days or so.
Once a week or less.
I never do this.
If you accidently hit a parked car while driving, would you leave a note with your contact information?
Yes
No
★ Would you rather:
be beautiful?
or create beautiful things?
If you were at a concert, would you sing along with the band if you knew the lyrics?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Do you feel that technology has lead to people being more aware or less aware of the natural world around them?
More aware.
Less aware.
No impact.
Do you have any deep dark fantasies that you would not share with anyone, even a trusted partner?
Yes
No
Which is more desirable in a mate? Someone who:
Rarely makes mistakes- never apologizes when wrong
Makes mistakes often but always admits faults
Do you think extraterrestrials are watching us?
Yes
No
Which are you prouder of?
Your accomplishments
Your personality
Would you consider dating someone who has extensive facial tattoos?
Yes
No
★ Would you be jealous if your partner thought a fictional character was really hot?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Do you usually vote in presidential (or applicable) elections?
Yes
No
Which of the following would you consider most important when in comes to enjoying art?
Aesthetics.
Craftsmanship.
Emotional impact.
Historical, political, or social significance.
The person you consider your best friend is:
Someone I look up to.
Someone who looks up to me.
My equal.
I don’t have a ‘best’ friend.
Do you believe most of your problems relate to an event that happened when you were a child?
Yes
No
Well, some of them
Have you ever gone on a rampant sex spree while depressed, shortly after losing a love?
Yes
No
Which would you appreciate more, being complimented on your appearance or on your intelligence?
Appearance.
Intelligence.
Do you ever feel the need to pick at other people’s blemishes?
Yes
No
★ Do you masturbate?
Yes
No
Would you date someone from another continent?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
If a child were to ask you a question that you do not know the answer to, how might you respond?
I’d make an educated guess.
I’d admit I don’t know.
I’d pretend I know, but ‘Figure it out yourself.’
Do you ever find yourself avoiding doing things just because they are popular?
Yes
No
Which is more valuable to you, time or money?
Time.
Money.
How obsessive/compulsive are you?
Clinically OCD
Pretty obsessive about some things
Pretty compulsive about some things
Not much of either.
Do you enjoy fantasy books or movies? (e.g. The Lord of the Rings)
Yes
No
Do you believe that the desire to perform good deeds is a part of human nature?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you tend to think of people as belonging to certain categories, such as ‘Jocks’, ‘Nerds’, ‘Geeks’, etc?
Yes, usually.
Sometimes.
No, never.
You see a yellow light and aren’t sure whether or not you can pass it before it turns red. What do you do?
Speed up
Slow down
★ Would it bother you if your significant other wanted their body donated to science when they die?
Yes
No
Are you generally nice to people who really annoy you?
Yes
No
Do you brush your tongue?
Yes
No
Sometimes
Do you ever ignore/avoid/dismiss somebody because you think they are simply too good-looking to be interested in you?
Often
Sometimes
Rarely
Never!
Imagine that you have finally met the “perfect match” in person, but there was no immediate romantic spark. Would you pursue the relationship?
Yes
No
Can you be trusted with a long-term project and no one watching you?
Yes
No
Maybe!
Do you prefer to acquire generic or name brand groceries?
Generic.
Name brand.
Some of each.
It makes no difference.
Are military uniforms a turn on?
Yes
No
I wear one to work
Would you pay a premium to buy something American-made?
Yes
No
Do you think there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you ever get jealous when one or more of your friends are in a relationship and you aren’t?
Yes
No
Sometimes
Not Sure
Would it bother you to live in a place where you cannot see the stars at night?
Yes
No
Do you shop in second-hand stores for clothing?
Yes, for most or all clothes.
Yes, about half of the time.
Yes, but only for a few select things.
No.
Do you often have strong opinions about the government?
Yes
No
Professional athletes often demand large salaries, often one hundred or more times that of an average person. Do you think that such large salaries are appropriate?
Yes
No
When you discover there is something you do not like about yourself, what do you do?
Change it immediately, why waste time?
Get around to it when it starts to bother another
Nothing
Stick it out & see if the quirk changes naturally
Would you date someone who had an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), such as hair pulling, excessive counting, excessive hand washing, etc.
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Which is more appealing to you?
A rollercoaster
A cab ride
Are you ashamed of any of your sexual desires?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who had a previous relationship with a close relative of yours?
Yes
No
Have you ever told someone you were dating that you hated them?
Yes, and I meant it.
Yes, but I didn’t mean it.
No, never.
Do you like jazz?
Yes, in fact it’s my favorite.
Yes, but I like other music as well or more.
It’s okay, but I’m really not that into it.
No, not at all.
You answer the phone and it’s somebody trying to sell you something. What are you more likely to do?
Hang up immediately.
Say you’re not interested when they let you talk.
Listen politely to the whole spiel.
Say something clever and cutting.
Do you judge people solely by their musical preferences?
Yes
No
Have you ever asked a stranger if you could have a cigarette?
Yes
No
One of your friends flirts with your ex, what do you feel?
Jealous
Happy for them
It doesn’t make any difference
Not sure
Do you practice any methods of divination?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone whose dietary choices (e.g., meat, vegetables, junk food, etc.) differ drastically from your own?
Yes
No
Do wild places such as mountains, rivers and forests call out to you?
Yes
No
If you could be seven years old again for one whole day, would you want to?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Which of the following senses do you find sexiest?
Sight.
Smell or taste.
Hearing.
Touch.
Do you think it’s possible to get a good job without going to college?
Yes
No
Is it a breach of etiquette to pet a stranger’s dog without permission?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
If you had to name as many famous scientists as you could remember, and as many famous writers as you could remember, which list would be longer?
Scientists
Writers
This question is boring me already
Do you tend to over analyze things your partner might say?
Yes
No
It depends
I’m not sure/Maybe
If you were about to kiss someone you recently started dating and discovered that they had putridly foul breath, would you tell them about their problem?
Yes
No
★ Would you consider a relationship with someone who was sterile?
Yes
No
Are you capable of being faithful even if your lover is away from home for long periods of time?
Yes
No
Which of the following best facilitates concentration for you?
Music playing or TV in the background.
Constant background or white noise.
Mostly quiet surroundings.
Absolute silence.
Is leaving your mark on the world important to you?
Yes
No
Does language fascinate you (how different languages are related, the development of language over time, dialects, etc.)?
Yes
No
On occasion, but not usually.
Do you care whether or not humanity survives beyond your own lifetime?
Yes. I hope it does.
Yes. I hope it does not.
No.
Would you date someone on an odd work or school schedule (e.g., midnight shift, rotating shift, etc.)?
Yes
Maybe
No
When planning activities with your partner do you generally like to take the lead?
Yes, most of the time
Share equally
No, I’m not a planner. Help!
★ How much do you procrastinate?
Lots
Some
Not so much
Never
Have you ever thrown away something that belonged to someone else because you thought they didn’t need it?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who regularly works a night shift and sleeps during daylight hours?
Yes
No
When talking to somebody, do you touch them a lot?
Yes / I’m extra touchy
No / not more than most people
If you were on a date with a photographer and they pointed their camera at you, what would be your response?
Put up my hand to block the shot.
Look away, but tolerate it.
Do something really silly and unpredictable.
Vogue baby… The camera loves me!
Is it okay for a married person to play around with someone with the permission of their spouse?
Yes
No
Does it typically take you a little while to get to know people, before you become yourself around them?
Yes
No
What’s more important in a relationship, disliking similar things or liking similar things?
Disliking
Liking
I’m not sure
Could you easily select 5 or fewer friends to be your only friends for the rest of your life?
Yes
No
★ Which is more important to the human race:
Preserving our environment
Producing needed goods and materials at any cost
Would you rather live in a country where your religion was the official religion, or in a country where all religions were treated the same?
I’d prefer my religion was the official religion
I’d prefer all religions were treated the same
Do you flirt with people you find attractive, even if you know it can’t lead anywhere?
Yes
No
If you were staying in a hotel with maid service, what condition would you leave the room in?
Neater than I would at my own home.
The same as I would at my own home.
Messier than I would at my own home.
If you found someone’s wallet in a public restroom, which is closest to what you would do?
Attempt to return wallet and contents to owner.
Take cash for myself and dispose of the wallet.
Take cash for myself and return wallet to owner.
Take wallet and all contents for myself.
Are you prone to fits of jealousy without just cause?
Yes
No
Would you go out with a person who has a medical disorder that’s not life threatening, but has to be thought of constantly? (e.g. Diabetes, Vision, etc.)
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you ever picket a business that you do not approve of?
Yes
No
Is someone who speaks several languages fluently more attractive to you than someone who does not?
Yes
No
Does your happiness in life stem primarily from your career or chosen profession?
Yes, it is based mostly on career achievement.
Yes, it is based mostly on job satisfaction.
Yes, it is based mostly on earnings.
No, my happiness come from other things.
Would it bother you to see someone eating in a public place where No Eating or Drinking signs are clearly posted?
Yes
No
How would not eating all of the food on their plate affect your opinion of someone?
Positively.
Negatively.
It depends upon the food left over.
It does not affect my opinion of them at all.
Have you ever been married?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who has severe food allergies and cannot eat out in restaurants?
Yes
No
Which would you prefer?
Cooking dinner.
Cleaning up after dinner.
★ Do you consider the act of leaving cigarette butts on the ground to be littering?
Yes
No
Which of the following would you put more effort into your appearance for?
A first date.
A job interview.
Are you afraid of death?
Yes
No
Do you feel the urge to correct people who say stupid things?
Yes
No
Sometimes
Do you chew gum?
Yes
No
Would you date someone who worked a minimum wage job?
Yes
No
How often do you read your horoscope?
Daily.
Weekly.
Occasionally.
Never.
Do you ever dream of running away from your current life and starting over, in a new place where no one knows you?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy watching B movies or so-called “cult classics”?
Yes
No
What are B movies/cult classics?
Have you ever broken up with someone for no reason other than it just didn’t “feel right”?
Yes
No
★ Imagine your partner has suggested trying something new for dinner. Which of the following choices sounds most appealing?
Something totally different at a new restaurant.
A familiar dish at a new restaurant.
A new dish at a familiar restaurant.
None of the above – I’ll have my usual.
Would you consider starting a relationship with someone who seems very promising even if they have a life-threatening illness?
Yes
No
Do you get annoyed if someone uses a word or phrase incorrectly, even if you still understand the speaker’s meaning?
Yes, and I’d correct them
Yes, but I wouldn’t correct them
No, and I wouldn’t correct them
No, but I’d still correct them
Would you prefer to date someone who is open-minded and disagrees with you often; or someone who is close-minded but rarely disagrees with you?
Open-minded and disagrees with me often.
Close-minded but rarely disagrees with me.
If you found a nice watch in the back of a taxi, would you keep it?
Yes
No
Tight clothing on men is:
Cool
Tacky
Offensive
Beneath my notice
Would you consider dating a law enforcement officer?
Yes
No
After ending a serious relationship, what do you do with any gifts/mementos your now-ex gave you?
Give them back to my ex
Keep them
Destroy them or throw them away
I’m not sure/Depends on the situation
Have you ever failed a charisma check?
Yes
No
Yes, with a natural 20.
Your date suggests attending a party that involves everyone making music together, either by playing instruments or singing. Would you like to go?
Yes
No
Would you find it annoying if a friend told you they were going to be busy celebrating their seven month anniversary?
Yes
No
Would you or have you ever been best/good friends with someone you used to date?
Yes
No
Do you play the lottery?
Constantly
Sometimes
Never
There is no lottery in my area
If you were going away for two weeks, how far in advance would you start packing?
I would pack at least two days before I leave.
I would pack on the day before I leave.
I would pack on the same day I leave.
I would not pack at all.
You’re in a budding relationship. Who would you want your significant other to meet first, your friends or your parents?
The parents
The friends
I’m Not Sure
Neither
Are you afraid of dying alone?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
When you’re looking for entertainment, what usually draws you the most?
Escapism or romance.
Special effects and thrills.
Intellectual stimulation and inventiveness.
Something else.
Do you have a favorite sports team that you really like to follow?
Yes
No
Did America really put a man on the moon?
Yes
No
While watching a movie at home, I prefer the lights in the room to be:
On.
Off.
Dimmed.
It doesn’t matter.
Could you date a person who had a large imperfection (ex: mole, birthmark, etc.)?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Imagine one night you go out alone to get some food. You bump into your ex and their new partner. They invite you to join them for dinner. Would you accept?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Would you be excited to ride the world’s tallest and fastest roller coaster?
Yes
No
★ You’ve been asked to make something that will be seen or otherwise experienced by millions of people. If you had to choose one, which of the following qualities would you most strive for?
Originality
Comprehensibility
Marketability
Imagine you accidentally drop five dollars in a public restroom toilet. The toilet shows no obvious signs of filth or disease. Which of the following would you do?
Flush it down.
Leave it for the next person.
Retrieve it.
Should the study of philosophy be required in school?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
What do you think is the best way to for the government to balance the budget?
Cut services and keep taxes at the same level.
Raise taxes and keep services at the same level.
Do you work to live or live to work?
Work to live.
Live to work.
Are you quick to trust until proven wrong or more slow to trust until worth is proven?
Quick to trust, until proven wrong.
Slow to trust, until worth is proven.
I don’t know.
Do you monitor your diet?
No, I eat whatever I like, whenever I like
Yes, I am trying to lose / gain weight
Yes, I always eat balanced and avoid junk food
If you were to die tomorrow, would you be satisfied with the outcome of your life?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Is it important to pay ongoing respect to family and friends who have died (for example, visiting burial places or displaying urns)?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you like small rodents?
No, small rodents scare me.
No, but they don’t scare me.
Yes, I like small rodents.
★ Riddle me this, my // fellow OkCupider: // haiku. What say you?
My lifeblood flows in 5-7-5
That’s Japanese right? I like anything from Japan
Whatever. It’s okay
Shut up.
Everything changes. This is:
More exciting than scary.
More scary than exciting.
Less true than people think.
Do you think your partner is with you to serve you with cooking and cleaning up after you?
Yes
No
Have you ever, when you are alone, secretly tried to move stuff with your mind?
Yes
No
YES! And it Worked!
Do you consider telling someone, “I love you,” for the first to be a momentous event?
Yes
No
If you dropped a piece of solid food on the floor, might you pick it up and eat it?
Yes
No
★ Do you think it is important to know exactly what is in the food you eat?
Yes
No
Do you ever eat in bed?
Yes
No
Do you think that as people become more sexually experienced they necessarily become better lovers?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
How often do you feel the need to add to your wardrobe?
More than twenty times a year.
Five to twenty times a year.
One to four times a year.
Less than once a year.
Would you prefer to live where there is a variety of weather or where you could experience your favorite kind of weather almost all the time?
A variety.
My favorite.
Would you consider trying food without being told what it is?
Yes
No
Do you think someone’s imperfections generally make them more attractive?
Yes
No
Is it a turn on for you to be with someone mysterious?
Yes
No
If the technology to freeze your age and not get any older was available, but the trade off was that you had to act that way forever, which age range would you stop at?
18 – 25
25 – 35
35 – 45
45 – 60
Would you ever consider setting up someone you’re dating, in order to test their fidelity?
Yes
No
Do you believe in the accuracy of horoscopes?
Yes
No
When dating new people, is there a certain prior partner who you inevitably compare them to?
Yes.
No.
I don’t date.
Could you date someone who was really short?
Yes
No
Would you consider moving to a place far from where you currently reside?
Yes
No
“Four score and seven years ago” refers to how many years ago?
XI.
XLVII.
LXXXVII.
CDVII.
Which would you rather have more of?
Imagination
Knowledge
If you suspected that your partner was stealing from you or your house, would it be crazy or reasonable to set up a trap for them?
Crazy
Reasonable
What do you think your government would do if they really knew what went on inside your head?
They would hire me.
They would ignore me.
They would kill or jail me.
They would yield to my revolutionary plans.
Suppose you were asked to solve a critical world problem. Would you take a practical approach that’s easy to implement or an idealistic approach that’s a challenge?
Practical.
Idealistic.
Would you ever date an attractive, talented, homeless person?
Yes
No
When you are cooking, do you closely follow recipes or do you operate more on intuition?
I closely follow recipes.
I let my intuition guide me.
Some of each – It depends…
I don’t cook.
When you are alone, how often do your own actions make you laugh?
Frequently.
Occasionally.
Rarely.
Never.
When would you prefer to spend time with a significant other?
Day.
Night.
It makes no difference.
Would you consider having a relationship with someone whose life is under continuous public scrutiny, to the point where you would have no reasonable expectation of going out in public without the press on your trail?
Yes
No
If you were given the opportunity to to wake up tomorrow morning as your 6 or 7 year old self, having all the knowledge you have now, would you?
Yes
No
Have you ever considered suicide?
Yes
No
Your grandmother gives you something really hideous and ceramic for your birthday. She is going to expect to see it when she comes over. What do you do?
Tell her the gift is tacky/ask to exchange it.
Put it in the closet and bring it out for visits.
Accept it and display it for the world to see.
I don’t know.
★ What is your opinion on freckles?
They turn me on. The more the merrier!
They turn me off. Give me flawless skin, please.
I could take them or leave them.
A light dusting can be cute.
Have you ever called in sick just to have a day to yourself?
Yes
No
If someone you like ignored you, how would that affect how much you like them?
It would make me like them even more.
It would make me like them less.
It would not affect how much I like them.
How often do you find yourself lost in thought in public places, unaware of your surroundings or the passage of time?
Frequently.
Sometimes.
Rarely.
Never.
Would you rather be 10 minutes late, or an hour early?
10 minutes late
An hour early
If you were romantically interested in a friend of your best friend, would you go for it?
Yes
No
Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?
Yes
No
You are sleeping with your significant other and it is very cold in the room, what do you do?
Steal the covers and warm up
Snuggle closer to your sweetie under the blankets
Get up and turn down the air/up the heater
Nothing, I like it cold
Do you read the dedications and introductions when you’re reading a book?
Yes, always or almost always
Occasionally, if I’m interested
No, I just get right to it
I don’t read / don’t read books with intros
Could you date someone with a learning disability of any kind?
Yes
No
Do you eat food with your fingers even if it’s messy or something many/most other people you know use silverware for?
All the time!
Only when nobody else is around.
Once in a while.
Yuck! No, never.
Would you rather work for your money or have it given to you?
Work for it.
Thanks, Uncle Trump.
How often do you correct your friends when they make grammatical mistakes in casual conversation?
Any time I notice.
Frequently.
Occasionally.
Never.
Are you bitter?
Yes
No
For a million dollars, would you end any relationship, no matter how good it was?
Yes
No
Which is better: failing with style, or succeeding dully?
It’s not how well you do, it’s how well you do it
Winning is winning
Do you enjoy political satire?
Yes
No
Imagine you are at a party at friend’s house. You drop a piece of food on the floor. From where you are standing, the floor and the food both look clean. Which would you most likely do?
Pick it up and eat it.
Pick it up and throw it away.
Pick it up and put it back for another to eat.
Ignore it.
If during the course of your first few dates you noticed your date taking prescription medications, would you inquire about them?
Yes
No
Do you often find yourself doing things just to say you did them?
Often
Occasionally
No
What is the approximate circumference of planet Earth at the equator?
7,926 miles/12,752 km
24,901 miles/40,065 km
238,856 miles/384,319 km
don’t know/care/not my home planet
★ Would you rather find “the one” the first time you date someone, or after many attempts?
The first time
Many attempts
Do you regularly go out partying on weeknights?
Yes
No
If you had to live through an entire year of either darkness or daylight, which would you chose?
Darkness.
Daylight.
After a sexual encounter, would you ever tell your partner that they were “the best you’d ever had” if it was not true?
Yes
No
If your partner wanted to cut their hair way shorter than you like it, what would you do?
Give them an ultimatum. Keep it long or it’s over
Argue vehemently to keep it long
Express my opinion that it looks better long
I’d keep my opinion to myself
When people seek advice from you, what do they usually get?
Good advice.
Average advice (or some good and some bad).
Bad advice.
I do not give advice.
★ Would you consider dating a person who chews tobacco?
Yes
No
Over time, have you become more or less picky about potential partners?
More picky.
Less picky.
No difference.
Would you ever tease someone you are interested in as a way to show affection?
Yes
No
Would you travel around a third world country, alone?
Yes
No
Have you ever attended a political demonstration or convention?
Yes
No
As a personality, are you more passive or more active?
More passive
More active
Exactly balanced
When all is said and done, which would you rather be?
Infamous.
Unknown.
Have you ever cut off contact with someone after seeing their pic?
Yes
No
No, but I would if they were very unattractive
Are you currently on the path towards the job you want in ten years?
Yes, I believe so
No, not yet / temporarily sidetracked
I already have that job
I don’t plan to work in ten years
If you get lost without a map while traveling in a new place for the first time, would you:
Ask for directions
Buy a map and figure it out yourself
Call a friend for help
Stumble your way through with no help
Would you still work if you won the lottery?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
★ Do you think Christians are persecuted in the U.S.?
Yes
No
Would you date someone that you’d had a one night stand with?
Yes, but only if the sex had been good.
Yes, but only if I liked that person.
No.
If someone described themselves as ‘just an average guy/gal’, how would this most likely affect your opinion of them?
Positively.
Negatively.
It would depend on other factors.
How often do you interrupt people?
Never.
Rarely.
Often.
Always.
How often do you find yourself criticizing movies, music, or other forms of artistic expression as “pretentious” or”highbrow” and use that as a reason to dismiss them?
Very often.
Occasionally.
Rarely.
Never.
How was your childhood?
Wonderful!
It was okay.
Not great, but I’m no worse for the wear.
Awful, and I have emotional issues as a result.
If you worked as a waiter/waitress, would you flirt with customers just to make more tips?
No, that would be wrong.
Sure!
What portion of your life, not including sleep, is spent doing things that you do not like to do?
Less than 25%.
25% to 50%.
50% to 75%.
More than 75%.
When would you prefer to settle a disagreement?
Now.
Later.
Never.
Do you feel out of place in society or time?
Yes
No
Occasionally
Are tears arousing?
Yes
No
How do you like your social plans?
Settled and decided
Tentative
Do you listen to music when you are trying to fall asleep?
Yes, music helps me fall asleep.
Yes, I enjoy music but it doesn’t help me sleep.
No, but music wouldn’t bother me.
No, music makes falling asleep difficult.
Would you consider dating someone who, while serving in the military, has killed an enemy in direct armed combat?
Yes
No
Can two people who are very different in terms of how they show affection be right for each other?
Yes
No
Where would you prefer to work?
A big corporation
A small company
I’d prefer not to work
Have you ever thrown an object in anger during an argument?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who acquires most of their food from garbage dumpsters?
Yes
No
Would you consider having a relationship with someone whose profession requires them to be regularly ‘on call’? Imagine that their job would require them to leave at random times with little notice.
Yes
No
If you had to choose, would you rather spend a year totally isolated from others or a year without ever being alone?
A year of total isolation.
A year of never being alone.
How many people do you know who you could share anything with, no matter how private?
None.
One.
Two or Three.
Four or more.
What would you choose: having dessert or having an alcoholic beverage?
Sweet and/or chocolate and surely calorie ridden
Barkeep – another over here, please!
Hmm… That’s a tough one
Which describes you better?
Warm-hearted
Cool-headed
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
True
False
How often is your behavior motivated by the need to be different?
All the time. Who wants to be normal?
Sometimes
Never. I strive to fit in.
Do you think that personal cars should be banned from all major metropolitan areas?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Would the idea of a quiet evening sitting together reading books ever appeal to you?
Yes
No
If given the opportunity, would you swim with Sharks?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, if there were enough safety precautions.
Do you subscribe to polytheistic beliefs?
Yes
No
Do you like wearing formal attire?
Yes, I love dressing up.
Occasionally, when I need to.
No / It makes me uncomfortable.
No opinion/Never had to
Are you a fan of professional wrestling?
Yes
No
If you came across a word you didn’t know while reading, would you stop to look up its definition?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Would you like to live abroad for a long period of time (2+ years)?
Yes
No
Your significant other’s family speaks a different language, and will accept you more easily if you speak it. Do you:
Learn it by taking classes
Try to pick it up along the way
Do nothing
Do you like the idea of living alone?
Yes
No
“It’s better to burn out than to fade away!” Do you agree?
Yes
No
★ For people who are in exclusive relationships, is masturbation a form of infidelity?
Yes
No
Which of the following factors most in defining your eating habits?
Taste.
Price.
Time and schedule.
Nutrition and health.
Would you consider dating someone who has a tattoo with an ex’s name?
Yes.
No.
It would depend upon the name.
Do you think any person is truly selfless?
Yes
No
Which do you regret more?
The mistakes you’ve made
The chances you haven’t taken
Do you feel a need to own the most up-to-date electronic gadgets?
Always.
Sometimes.
Never.
Is the world weird enough for you?
Yes.
No.
Actually, it’s too weird.
★ Would you date a recovering (non-drinking) alcoholic?
Yes
No
Did you ever have a “goth” phase?
No.
Yes, and I’m a little embarassed about it.
Yes, and I’m proud of it.
It wasn’t a ‘phase’!
Would you let your kids watch as much t.v. as they wanted, as long as they said their homework was done?
Yes
No
Some things are free. Some things are expensive. Some things are simply great deals. Which of these do you generally value the most?
The expensive things.
The bargains.
The free stuff.
It makes no difference.
People who are really bad at dancing should:
Stay clear of the dance floor.
Dance and enjoy themselves.
If a potential partner has children living in their home, would it be important for you to meet them before you commited yourself to a relationship?
Yes
No
Would you be afraid if you were walking alone on a city sidewalk after dark?
Yes. I’d be scared for sure.
Yes, if the location is considered dangerous.
No. No city street scares me.
No, but people should fear me.
Are you too embarrassed to sing along to the radio in the car when there’s someone with you?
Yes.
No.
It depends on who is with me.
★ Do you think that masturbation is an acceptable practice?
Yes.
No, it is unhealthy.
No, it is against my beliefs.
No, it is both unhealthy and against my beliefs.
Would you prefer a short and exciting life or a long and boring one?
Short and exciting.
Long and boring.
In general, are you a competitive person?
Very often
Sometimes / rarely
Never / not really
Are you smarter than most people?
Yes
No
Which do you prefer?
The predictable
The unpredictable
Which do you cause more of?
Order
Chaos
How much would you dress up for a first date with someone you met on OkCupid?
I’d go all out.
I’d try to look nice.
I wouldn’t wear anything special.
It would vary, depending upon their profile.
When trying to express something difficult or painful, which style of communication do you feel most comfortable and natural using?
Face to Face.
Phone.
Text / email / letter.
What would be your honest reaction if a loved one made a charitable donation in your name instead of buying you a gift at the holidays?
Positive.
Negative.
★ Honestly, which do you do more of?
Watch television
Read
Has the human race done more to create or to destroy beauty in the world?
Create.
Destroy.
They balance out.
I’m not sure.
Have you ever given up your bus, subway, or train seat for a stranger who seemed to need it more?
Yes.
No.
I’ve never been in this situation.
Do you think the basic instinct to survive and reproduce fundamentally drives every decision a person makes?
Yes
No
Would you date a nudist?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Only if they were attractive
Do you usually wear cologne or perfume?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy riding roller coasters?
Yes.
No.
I’ve never ridden a roller coaster before!
Do you think you are still evolving or are you pretty much the way you are always going to be?
Still evolving
The way I’ll always be
How often do you find yourself becoming annoyed because other people just don’t seem to understand the obvious?
All of the time.
Frequently.
Once in a while.
Never.
Do you enjoy gossip?
Yes
No
To what extent do you believe that your purpose in life is to change the world for the better?
To a great extent.
To a lesser extent.
This is not my purpose at all.
Could you be happy if your significant other was an extremely restless sleeper?
Yes
No
Would you feel comfortable going away on a vacation by yourself?
Yes
No
What is your opinion of the practice of meditation?
Boring!
I could take it or leave it.
It’s something I’ve always wanted to try.
I meditate frequently.
Does the way people dress affect how you treat them?
Yes
No
Is VERY short hair on a woman necessarily unattractive?
Yes
No
Do you think tanned skin is attractive?
Yes / Usually
No / Not usually
It makes no difference
If money were not an issue, would you have major cosmetic surgery on any part of your face or body?
Yes
No
If a partner had a crush on a celebrity, would that bother you?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you enjoy being very close to extreme weather?
Yes
No
Do you believe people can fundamentally change their personalities?
Yes.
No, only certain aspects can be changed.
No, not at all.
Are you ultimately responsible for your own happiness?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Which of the following sounds most appealing for your next birthday?
A gathering with friends or loved ones.
A one-day escape from it all.
A day just like any other day.
A complete surprise.
If you were about to die, what would you want to do with your money?
Give it all to charities
Leave it with your family/friends
I’m not sure
Give some to family/friends, the rest to charity
Which is your favorite weather?
Sun
Rain
Snow
Cloudy
★ Do you think the world is overpopulated?
Yes
No
Do you play or have you ever played a Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game?
I enjoy playing them
I’m a recovering addict – never again
No, but I’d like to try one
Not my type of thing / NO IDEA
Do you think it is possible to start over, leaving everything behind and never looking back?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
A “shooting star” is a star that…
…burned out, and collapsed
…collided with Earth’s atmosphere
…got sucked into a black hole
…isn’t really a star
Are you a better conversationalist or listener?
Conversationalist
Listener
Do you like punk rock?
Yes
No
When I was younger
Have you ever seriously questioned your sexuality and whether it was different from what you first assumed?
Yes, and it changed.
Yes, but it did not change.
No.
Does someone’s appearance lose appeal to you if you find out it’s fake? (ie, implants, dyed hair, fake facial piercings)
Yes
No
Do smart people necessarily have greater potential to change the world?
Yes
No
Would you answer the phone if you were on the toilet? Assume this is a call you’d answer elsewhere.
Yes.
No.
It depends upon who is calling.
Would you allow either a partner’s pet cat or pet dog to share food off the same plate as you? Assume the pet would be offered the first bite straight off the plate.
Yes to both.
No to both.
A cat yes – A dog no.
A dog yes – A cat no.
If all of the professional sports leagues in the world ceased to exist, would you be upset?
Yes
No
Which is closer to perfection?
The male body
The female body
Would you consider dating a person who has the same first name as you?
Yes
No
Do you like to listen to music while having sex?
Yes.
No.
Sometimes.
I’m not sure.
Would you consider dating someone who chooses not to vote as an act of political protest?
Yes
No
Would you feel uncomfortable if a pet saw you masturbating?
Yes
No
Do you freak out when you get a little upset? (i.e. scream, yell and cry)
Yes
No
Only when no one is around
Only when someone is around
Would you consider dating someone who generally does not eat vegetables?
Yes
No
Do you think that the psychological differences between human males and females are better explained by nature or nurture?
Nature.
Nurture.
The two play a nearly equal role.
I’m not sure.
Think about the famous person you admire most. He or she is:
An entertainer.
A scientist or a philosopher.
An athlete.
Distinguished for some other reason.
Would it bother you if a platonic friend touched you casually during a conversation?
Yes, it probably would.
No, it probably would not.
Possibly, it would depend upon circumstances.
Would you ever correct your partner for seriously misusing or mispronouncing a word?
Yes
No
When it comes to relationship activities, I usually prefer:
To let my partner do most of the planning.
To come up with our plans myself.
That we take turns or share in the process.
That we don’t make plans in advance at all.
Do you find it difficult to trust a romantic partner completely?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy conversation during breakfast?
Yes.
No.
Sometimes.
How many hours of television do you watch per week?
None
1-7
8-20
My brain is fried
Do you believe that your vote makes a difference?
Yes
No
If you could choose to live forever, would you?
Yes
No
Only if I could be young forever.
Only if I could be young and beautiful forever.
Have you ever posed as a nude model while someone sketched/painted/photographed you?
Yes
No, but I’d like to.
No, and I would never do it.
Do you like the idea of dating someone who lives full time in a motor home and has no permanent address?
Yes. This sounds very appealing.
No. I could never live like that.
I’m not sure.
What percent of the population is NOT physically attractive enough for your taste?
0-25% (few) are not attractive enough
25-50% (some) are not attractive enough
50-75% (many) are not attractive enough
75-100% (most) are not attractive enough
Are you modest?
Yes
No
On average, how many fast food meals do you eat in a week.
1 or less.
2-4.
6-9.
10 or more.
Do you feel that animals are more important than humans?
Yes
No
★ If allowed only one of the following options, how would you choose to define your sex life?
Have ‘just okay’ sex at least every day
Have absolutely amazing sex, but only once a week
★ Is working for a non-profit organisation after you graduate a waste of a good university education?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Does your culture, ethnicity, or race play a large role in your identity?
It plays a crucial part in who I am
It’s interesting, but not really
Who I am is completely independent of my heritage
Would you consider buying a genetically engineered pet?
Yes
No
Are you attracted to things connected to sadness?
Yes
No
Maybe / Not sure
Would you consider trying a dish made from dog meat?
Yes
No
How in tune are you with your surroundings?
I’m very in-tune, I notice just about everything.
I’m pretty in-tune, but I miss some things.
I’m not that attentive, but I’m not blind.
Huh?
Would you consider dating someone who has an obsessive ex they are trying to get away from?
Yes
No
Do you like to be the center of attention?
Yes, always
Yes, sometimes
Not really, no
Do you believe that most police officers abide by the same laws they enforce?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Would you consider dating an animal rights activist?
Yes
No
How much do you like to be tickled during sex?
Tickle me until I cry. It really turns me on.
I like being tickled during sex.
I do not like being tickled during sex.
I don’t like to be tickled, ever.
Which is more deserving of respect: to never start a bad habit, or to have started a bad habit and then successfully ended it?
Never start
Ended it voluntarily
Would you ever consider marrying someone who you are not in love with?
Yes
No
Would you be interested in spending a set amount of time, say one day, as a member of the opposite sex?
Yes
No
What do you think of make-up?
Useful
People shouldn’t hide their natural beauty
Don’t know or care
Do you like to dance?
Yes
No
Does it bother you when someone frequently uses extraneous speech (e.g., uhh, umm, like, you know, etc.) in conversation with you?
Yes
No
Are you the person you want to be?
Yes.
No.
Almost!
Would you consider dating someone who was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
When a dog licks your face, what is your reaction?
Ugh. Nasty.
Awww, how cute!
I’m Not Sure
In relationships, would you try to encourage your partners to develop themselves to their full potential even where it would make them more independent of you?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Would you date someone who habitually needs to pop their back/neck?
Sure. I do that sometimes, too.
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Would you date someone you weren’t crazy about if they took you on cool dates?
Yes
No
Is astrological sign at all important in a match?
Yes
No
Which do you tend to be more of?
The manipulated
The manipulator
Neither
Which is more important to you, reality or fantasy?
Reality.
Fantasy.
If you saw someone being mugged in the street, would you step in and try to help?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
In regards to people who meet your sexual preferences, is there a difference between finding them sexy and wanting to have sex with them?
Yes
No
Which is more important: a person’s opinion or how they arrived at their opinion?
A person’s opinion.
How they arrived at their opinion.
Neither is important.
How often do you watch automobile racing?
Frequently.
Occasionally.
Never.
Would you consider being part of a committed polyamorous relationship (i.e., three or more people but no sex outside the group)?
Yes, I like that type of polyamory.
I could be convinced by the right people
I am commited to total monogamy
I have open relationships only
Is it inappropriate for a high school teacher to date a former student who just graduated?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone with autism?
Yes
No
Would you rather visit a country where everyone speaks your language, or go somewhere where you can’t understand anyone?
A place that speaks my language
A place with a foreign language
Either – I love to travel!
Do you ever lie to yourself?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure that is even possible.
If you really liked someone, would you make an effort to clean up before they saw your place for the first time?
Yes, I’d want to make a good first impression.
No, someone who really likes me won’t care.
I’d clean up a little, I guess.
Which word describes you better?
Carefree
Intense
Would you wear your partner’s underclothing if they wanted you to?
Yes
No
Trying anything at least once is..
A good idea.
Not for me.
People are inherently…
Good
Evil
When it comes to your pubic hair, do you make a regular effort to maintain its appearance (or lack thereof)?
Yes
No
Do you try to flirt with strangers in public places?
Frequently.
Sometimes.
Rarely.
Never.
Are you a genius?
Yes
No
How do you usually feel toward authority figures?
Grateful or appreciative
Aggressive or angry
Indifferent
Sexually attracted
Are you sexually fertile?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Imagine that one of your friends likes to sing but cannot carry a tune to save their life. Which of the following would you most likely do?
Make a friendly joke about how bad they are.
Politely inform them about how unpleasant it is.
Not say anything directly and hope they stop.
Encourage them to enjoy themselves and practice.
Given that celebrities are often role models to kids, do you think they have a moral obligation to act with that in mind?
Yes
No
Would you be willing to date someone with Attention Deficit Disorder?
Yes
No
I don’t know
What was the duration of your longest romantic relationship?
More than five years.
One to five years.
Less than one year.
I’ve never been in a romantic relationship.
★ Would you ever consider ending a relationship because a parent, family member, or close friend didn’t approve of your partner in terms of attractiveness, race, nationality, gender, age, or other factors beyond their control?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Have you ever felt so strongly about a social issue or cause that you have participated in a public demonstration?
Yes
No
Politics bore me
Do you believe people, as a whole, are capable of ruling themselves, or is government of some kind needed?
Anarchy; people can rule themselves
Government; someone needs to be in charge
Do you think a straight man and a straight woman can truly just be friends?
Yes
No
★ Do you like being in a car with someone else who’s driving extremely fast?
Yes
No
If you had to pick one of the following locations for a first date, which would be most appealing?
An amusement park.
A restaraunt.
A bar or lounge.
A city, state, or national park.
Do you think that shared experiences involving nonsexual things that you enjoy can be as intimate as having sex?
Yes
No
★ When you see someone litter, do you:
Barely notice/ it doesn’t bother you
Feel very upset, but do nothing
Pick up the trash and dispose of it properly
Try to make the litterbug pick up the trash
How often do you smoke cigars?
Frequently.
Occasionally.
Never.
You’re given one chance to travel through time. How do you use it?
Alter events in history for the greater good.
Use past/future info for personal gain.
Alter something you regret
Do nothing–time travel could invoke chaos
Over the course of your life, how often have the decisions you made resulted in increased happiness for yourself and those around you?
Most of the time.
Some of the time.
Rarely.
Never.
Would you want to be immortal if you could?
Yes
No
Do you feel comfortable being touched by someone you just met?
Yes
No
Not sure
Do you think that someone who cheats when playing games can be trusted in a relationship?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Would you be comfortable marrying a bisexual person?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Do you use racial slurs when you are around friends or family whom you trust?
Yes.
No.
I’d rather not say.
Is it cool for men to wear earrings?
Sure; it’s fine
No way
Which is worse: frank narcissism or false modesty?
Frank narcissism.
False modesty.
How important is it for you to have the same taste in movies or television programs as your partner?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
Actually, I don’t watch movies or TV.
Would you read a book just for fun?
Yeah, I like to read.
What, me read if I don’t have to?
If I have nothing better to do.
★ You are seeing someone new and are taking them to meet your friends for the first time. Is it more important to you that:
Your friends approve of them.
They approve of your friends.
Are you fond of late night walks to no place in particular?
Yes
No
Do you find intelligence sexier than looks?
Yes
No
Would you ever donate your sperm or eggs?
Yes
No
No, but I would consider it
In the line Wherefore art thou Romeo?, what does wherefore mean?
Why
Where
How
Who cares / wtf?
If you were forced to betray one of the following, which one would you choose?
Your friends
Your family
Your partner
Your country
In your opinion, is shock value a valid form of artistic expression?
All art is valid
Depends on the context
Not at all
Unsure
What causes Earth’s seasons?
Earth’s distance from the sun
Earth’s tilt in relation to the sun
Earth’s rotation on its axis
Don’t know / don’t care / not sure
When fooling around with someone, do you sometimes have sexual fantasies about other people?
Yes
No
How do you generally feel about people who tend to hug others whom they’ve just met?
More positive than negative.
More negative than positive.
Indifferent.
When judging someone’s actions, you usually base your judgement on:
Their intent
The end result
Both
I don’t judge people at all/not by these criteria
Do you think etiquette and table manner (fork left, knife right, etc.) still have value in modern society?
Yes
No
Men/women who are tall and lanky:
Love it!
Hate it!
Don’t particularly care
Do you feel comfortable in the passenger seat when someone else is driving?
Yes.
No.
It depends on the driver.
Once you have grown to love somebody, is it possible to stop loving them?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
What do you feel is the hardest part of a romantic relationship?
The first time you meet
Going from friends/dating to ‘relationship’
Dealing with the person day in day out for years
The end of the relationship (by whichever means)
Would you find it a turn on or a turn off if the person you are dating could sing very well?
A turn on.
A turn off.
It would not affect me either way.
Would you consider dating someone twenty years older than you if they were really interesting and looked really good?
Yes
No
Do you think really abstract art—like just splattered paint—can be truly brilliant?
Yes
No
Do you avoid exposure to sunlight?
Yes.
No, but I use sunscreen to minimize my exposure.
No. I like to sunbathe, but only in moderation.
No. I sunbathe as much as possible.
Other than as an end to suffering, have you ever truly hoped that another person would die?
Yes
No
Men who wax their chests are…
SEXY!
A little vain in my book.
Kinda creepy.
I don’t care.
Would you consider dating a person who is a single parent of a special needs child?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who has been divorced more than once?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who suffers from some sort of sexual dysfunction, but who still enjoys other sorts of sexual activity using hands/mouth/whatever?
Yes.
No.
Possibly, depending on the specifics.
Would you consider dating someone who wears dentures?
Yes
No
Do you need to know everything about someone’s past?
Yes
No
If you could have one of the following to take with you on a deserted island and you had to live there for five years, which would you take?
A computer with internet.
A phone.
An unlimited food supply.
A partner.
Would you risk your life to save a dying animal?
Yes
No
do you like punk rock
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you date someone who doesn’t drink alcohol?
Yes
No
★ Can you sleep in the same room as someone who snores?
Yes
No
Would you consider having a serious relationship with someone who works in job that is so secret that they will never be allowed to discuss even the smallest details of it with you?
Yes
No
Would you rather be indoors or outdoors?
Indoors
Outdoors
Depends on my mood
Depends on the weather
Which best describes the ideal indoor temperature for you?
Below 70F (21C)
70-75F (21-24C)
76-80F (25-27C)
Above 80F (27C)
When you fall in love with someone, do you go ahead and tell them, or do you wait for them to say they love you first?
I go ahead and tell them.
I wait until they say it.
I don’t really care.
Never been in love.
★ Do you feel that voting in all elections should be required by law?
Yes
No
Suppose that all traces of organized religion were instantly wiped from human knowledge. What would happen afterwards?
Religion would return to the world as it is now
New religions/religious groups would take shape
Organized religion would not return at all
God would never allow this to happen
★ Let’s say there are two people in a room with you; one is loud, flirty and attention getting, the other is shy and quiet. Which one are you attracted to more?
The loud flirty one
The shy and quiet one
Do you own a gun?
Yes
No
How do you feel about baseball?
It’s my life
I can take it or leave it
I think it’s dumb
Beauty is power. Power corrupts people. Therefore, beautiful people are corrupt.
I completely agree.
I agree to some extent.
I completely disagree.
★ Which comes first, family or friends?
Family
Friends
Do you think the government should limit big chain stores to give small businesses a chance?
Yes
No
Maybe
Don’t know/Don’t care
Do you tend toward resolving conflicts through confrontation or avoidance?
Confrontation.
Avoidance.
In a conversation someone says a word you don’t understand. What do you do?
Pretend to understand it.
Ask what it means.
Try to figure it out from context clues.
Remember it and look it up later.
Would you consider dating someone who adamantly believes that children should not be educated in traditional school settings?
Yes
No
I would rather vote for a candidate whose policies significantly:
Benefitted me more than the majority of society
Benefitted the majority of society more than me
If it were legal to do so, would you ever consider paying for sex?
Yes
No
Do you chew with your mouth open?
Yes
Sometimes
No
Would you rather live forever or die happy?
Live forever
Die happy
Should parents reward children with money for getting good grades?
Yes
No
Would you be able to date someone that was unwilling to share their family history with you?
Yes, I’d be dating them not their family.
No, What the heck are they hiding?
Dunno, depends.
Can you run a mile without stopping?
Yes
No
Yes – And More
Do you enjoy using refrigerated items or ice cubes on your partner during sex?
Yes.
No.
I don’t know.
Which is more important to you in choosing a place to live?
The place itself.
The people who live there.
Should laws that address nudity above the waist apply equally to males and females?
Yes
No
Would you be more tolerant of personality flaws in a partner who is more physically attractive?
Yes
No
Karaoke?
Absolutely!
I haven’t, but I might try it.
I’d be too embarrassed.
No way! How could that be any fun?
Should people be allowed to sell their body parts, organs, and tissues for profit?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
What do you think of reality television?
I love it!
It’s alright.
I dislike it.
I have no opinion on reality television
How long does it usually take for you to decide whether or not you like a new acquaintance?
I decide immediately on sight.
It takes a few minutes of conversation.
It takes a few hours of hanging out.
It takes multiple social experiences with them.
If you suffered minor injuries in a car accident, would you exaggerate the damage if you knew it could make you a LOT of money from an insurance company?
Yes
No
Do you think that western medicine is better than alternative medicine (such as chiropractic, massage, naturopathy, herbology)?
Yes
No, they are both valid.
No, Western medicine is too invasive
I don’t know
★ Have you ever attempted to convert another to your own religious beliefs?
Yes
No
Are you afraid of falling madly in love?
Yes
No
How often do you get upset during face-to-face conversations involving at least two other people?
Never.
Rarely.
Frequently.
Always.
★ Do you say grace before meals?
Yes
No
Have you ever sniffed your clothes to decide if you will wear them or not?
No, that’s disgusting!
Sometimes / Maybe
I have to… my clothes are mixed up on the floor
No need… I use the hamper and only wear once
Would you ever consider hiring a detective to find out if someone is cheating on you?
Yes
No
In long-term relationship, if you could have things go 100% your way in any one of the following areas, which area would you choose?
Family planning & relations with partner’s family
Monetary decisions
Sex
Leisure activities
You come home and discover that somebody’s broken into your house, and they’re still inside. You…
Find the handiest weapon and confront them
Call the police and let them handle it
Spy on them from up the street, see where they go
Hurry to a neighbor’s and get their help.
On the job, which of these is most important to you:
A sense of calling, vocation, or higher purpose
a reliable network of friends and coworkers
security, an ordered existence
stickin’ it to the Man
Do you think most human instincts can be attributed to evolution?
Yes
No
★ Fast food is:
Great!
Ok
Disgusting
How well do you handle criticism?
Really well
Not that well
Not at all
How easily are you offended?
Very easily.
Somewhat easily.
Not very easily.
Do you evaluate the people you see out in public for suitability as potential partners, based on their attractiveness?
Yes. I am very perceptive in this way.
No. Never.
I only ‘look’ when I am available.
Would you make a fool out of yourself in public if it meant you were making your partner laugh?
Yes
No
Maybe
★ In general, people who use long, multisyllablic words when short, simple ones would do just as well are more …
Pretentious and annoying.
Eloquent and attractive.
Do you like large dogs?
Yes
No
How important is it to you that your abdominal muscles be a visible six-pack, eight-pack, or some higher level of sculpting?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
Hide them with fat, please.
Is there a difference between telling the truth and not lying?
Yes
No
★ If you could erase any pain from your past and substitute those moments with happiness, would you?
Yes, I’d rather not have those memories.
No, the pain is part of who I am.
I’m not sure.
You find a mess left by someone you live with. You’d be likely to clean it up…
immediately, you like having a clean space.
only if they’d have done the same for you.
grudgingly, and then yell at them later.
when Hell freezes over.
Would you consider incorporating elements of computer or robotic technology into your body for purposes of augmentation?
Yes
No
I’m uncertain
I do not understand
Do you think it is necessary for a man to have (or have had) a good relationship with his father in order to be a good father?
Yes
No
★ Would you enjoy a 10 mile run with your partner?
Yes
Maybe less mileage
I am not a runner
What?! Get up off my couch?
A friend has become homeless. Would you let them stay with you until they are back on their feet?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Do you have an addictive personality?
Yes
No
Do you think politics have an impact on your everyday life?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Who cares?
★ Do you recycle?
Almost always
Sometimes
Rarely or not at all
★ Do you feel that a major reduction of the human population is necessary for the long-term survival of the Earth?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
If you had to choose one of the following for the remainder of your life, which would you choose with respect to sports?
Watching on TV at home, a bar or a friend’s house
Watching live at courts, stadiums, rinks, etc
Participating in my one favorite sport
Avoiding sports altogether
Communism, in concept:
Good
Bad
Same as capitalism
No idea / this question doesn’t interest me
Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?
Yes
I’m not sure
No
A first date has gone relatively well so far. You discover that your date has absolutely no awareness of any significant current affairs from the last month. How might this make you feel?
Disappointed.
Indifferent.
Pleased.
When it comes to getting what one deserves, which do you see as the bigger problem?
Someone not getting something they deserve.
Someone getting something they don’t deserve.
★ Are you married, engaged to be married, or in a relationship that you believe will lead to marriage?
Yes
No
★ When it comes to art, do you prefer works that are abstract or representational?
Abstract.
Representational.
I like both kinds equally.
I’m not a big fan of art.
Are you a snob about some things?
Yes
No
Is anything in life more important than your own self-interest?
Yes
No
Do you believe you can learn to love someone?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
★ Do you ever drink alcohol in order to lower your inhibitions with the opposite sex?
Yes
No
Would you pretend to share an interest with someone you really liked as a way to gain favour with them?
Yes
No
Could you date someone that has put off a relationship with someone else, with the intent of picking it up again later?
Yes
No
★ How wise do you think you are at this stage?
I am wise about most things in life
I am wise about a few things
Some wisdom, but I don’t feel wise
I don’t have much wisdom yet
You have a major crush on a good friend’s significant other. This friend is having trouble in the relationship and asks you for advice, do you:
Give your friend honest advice?
Seize the opportunity, suggesting a breakup?
Find a way around giving them any advice?
★ Do you ever get inspired to make something creative for no reason in particular?
Very Often
Rarely / Never
Sometimes
Imagine on your birthday you receive three books. One is a religious text. One is a scientific text. One is a novel. Which do you think you would enjoy the most?
The religious text.
The scientific text.
The novel.
I don’t think I would enjoy any of them.
Would you want to be there to take care of an ill partner?
Yes.
No.
It depends on the illness.
★ Do you think most people are too politically correct or too politically incorrect?
Most people are too politically correct.
Most people are too politically incorrect.
Most people are fine the way they are.
If a date were to give you a gift, which would you rather receive?
Flowers.
A box of chocolates.
A carton of cigarettes.
A creative item made by them.
★ Do you think the media, in general, is too conservative, too liberal, or actually pretty impartial?
Too conservative
Too liberal
Impartial
Would you rather have a great friend you could share everything with or a great lover you can’t really talk to?
Friend
Lover
★ Do you have a strong sense of self?
Yes, I am quite certain of who I am.
No, I’m still searching for my identity.
I’m on the verge of finding myself.
No, I have no clue who I am, I’m an empty shell.
Historically, have you gone through periods of “forgetting about your friends” as you have become involved in romantic relationships?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
I’ve never been in a romantic relationship.
If you saw someone shoplifting, would you turn them in?
Yes
No
Which would you rather win?
A Nobel Prize
A Grammy, Oscar, Tony, or Emmy
A sports championship
The Lottery
Is it ok for men to be “househusbands”?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you do a striptease for your mate?
Yes
No
Maybe
Do you kiss on the first date?
Under the right circumstance, Yes
Never
Always
Do you like the taste of blood?
Yes
No
Do you generally wash your hands before preparing food?
Yes.
No.
I do if I’m serving other people.
I do if I’m preparing it for myself.
Would you be willing to use deadly force to prevent an unwarranted search of your home by government officials?
Yes
No
How would you feel if a new dating partner believed that bizarre events are more likely to occur during a full moon?
I agree with them about such occurrences.
Maybe it’s true, maybe they’re just coincidences.
I don’t mind; it’s just a harmless superstition.
I’d be annoyed by their irrational thinking.
How energetic are you?
Hyper
Fairly active
Occasionally active
Sedentary
Do you believe the state of Earth’s climate is your personal responsibility?
Yes, we are all to blame if something goes wrong.
No, that’s the government’s job.
No, I don’t care.
Not sure.
Should young children be taught the proper words for their body parts instead of learning the kid-friendly versions?
Yes
No
Would you consider becoming involved in a serious relationship with someone who is divorced?
Yes
No
Do you think it is a good idea for a single person to try to create or adopt a child and raise it on his or her own?
Yes
No
You go to watch a movie at the cinema with a date. About half way through he/she becomes obviously bored with it, but you are really enjoying it and want to see the ending. What do you do?
Continue watching the movie.
Ask the date if they’d like to leave.
Insist on leaving.
Do you think that wealthy nations have a responsibility to assist developing nations?
Yes
No
Would it bother you if your partner had a hobby where they would occasionally seclude themselves for hours at a time?
Yes
No
A person you’re interested in attempts to cook a romantic meal for you. After tasting a bit of it, you notice it hasn’t been cooked completely. What do you do?
Smile and hope your gag reflex doesn’t kick in
Tell him/her the food needs to cook longer
Flat out refuse to eat it
I’m not sure
It is more worthwhile and satisfying to:
Improve the world.
Appreciate the world.
Do you think people who believe in some type of existence after death are more ethical than those who do not?
Yes.
No, I think the opposite is true.
No, I don’t think this makes any difference.
Would you ever consider an open marriage? That means you can sleep with other people.
Yes
No
Do you sleep with the television on?
Yes, always
No, never ever
Sometimes
Depends on what I’m watching
Do you enjoy Renaissance Faires or other Medieval re-enactment events?
I love them and go whenever I can
They’re fun once in a while
No, they don’t interest me
Never heard of it
Do you like loud concerts?
Yes
No
Have you made any wishes or cast any spells lately?
Yes
No
Are you fascinated with all things dark and macabre?
Yes
No
I used to be
What’s more important, happiness or safety in relationships?
Being happy
Being safe
Do you think the family of a murder victim should have any say in what punishment is given to the murderer?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Should people seeking to adopt children be required by law to pass a parenting course prior to being allowed to adopt?
Yes
No
Would you consider a long term relationship with the parent of a multiracial child who would clearly not be seen as your biological offspring?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating a person who rescues stray animals from the streets and brings them home?
Yes
No
It’s Friday night and you’re with a friend. Pick one:
A club or crowded party
A sporting event
A movie at the theater
A night at home chatting/gossiping
If you asked for time off of work to see your favorite band and it wasn’t granted, would you skip work to see the show anyway?
Yes
No
★ Wearing your nation’s flag on your clothing (t-shirt, lapel pin, on your backpack ect.) is:
A fine way to show national pride.
Ridiculous/Tacky.
Its ok, but not for me.
A poor substitute for true patriotism.
Hippies?
Them’s good people, man.
I don’t dig ’em.
I don’t care.
Do you prefer to sleep with the lights on or off?
I like it completely dark.
I like a little light.
I like it to be bright.
Would you consent to carry a device that tracked your location in real time so that your significant other could locate your position any time they wanted?
Yes
No
Have you experienced mental illness?
Yes – severely
Yes – low grade
No
I’m not sure
★ Should freedom of speech allow the expression of all viewpoints, even extreme and widely-offensive ones?
Yes
No
Imagine a law is passed that makes one of your favorite activities illegal. Assuming you believe the activity to be harmless, would you continue pursuing it if there exists a high probability of eventually being caught?
Yes
No
What do you think about people who watch movies purely for the point of making fun of them?
That’s so much fun
That sounds pretty lame
I don’t do it but I suppose it could be fun
I hate that. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it
Which are you closer to being?
A hippie
A yuppie
Would you date a comic book geek?
Yes
No
★ Do you ever feel that your behavior is inconsistent with your own notion of right and wrong?
Yes
No
Would you be comfortable having a partner whose job requires them to be physically close to very attractive people?
Yes
No
Would you adopt a baby from another country ?
Yes
No
I don’t know/ I’m not sure
Would you consider dating someone who had spent considerable time in a mental health facility? (i.e. mental hospital/institution.)
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ Roughly how many books have you read in the past year?
Less than five
Between five and fifteen
Between sixteen and fifty
Fifty or more
★ Which is more appealing?
A life of leisure
A life of accomplishment
★ Would you consider a serious relationship with someone who couldn’t have children?
Yes
No
In a certain light, couldn’t being homeless be exciting?
Yes
No
How soon would you meet your significant other’s parents?
Right Away!
After a few weeks of dating
After a few months of dating
After a few years of dating
Monty Python fans who recite lines back at the TV screen. Annoying or not?
Yes
No
Depends on the fan
This question is stupid
How important is it to you that other people dress in a manner consistent with their age?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not important.
How often do you visit the dentist to have your teeth (or tooth) cleaned?
I go at least twice a year
I go about once a year
I usually wait two years or longer between visits
I do not visit the dentist for cleanings
If a close friend asks you to come out to a club or bar that does not fit with your own sexual preferences, would you go along?
Yes
No
Would you be happy raising the kids while your spouse worked?
Yes
No
★ When you have no pressing obligations, at what time do you prefer to get up in the morning?
Early bird gets the worm! I’m up before the sun!
Pretty Early (6:00ish – 9:30ish AM)
I like to sleep in a bit. (9:30ish AM – Noonish)
Morning? Curse that AM light! (afternoon or dark)
If your partner shared their darkest secret with you and you eventually break up, would you tell other people this secret?
Yes.
No.
It would depend upon the nature of the break up.
How shy would you say you are?
Very shy
Kind of shy
Not really shy
Not at all shy
Do you go to the tanner?
Yes
No
For special occaisons
I get my tan naturally
How do you feel about genetically modified foods?
Fully approve
Hesitant / more controls needed
Opposed
No opinion/ don’t know
Would you ever consider marrying someone attractive, whom you’ve never met, if your friends or family thought that he or she would be good for you?
Yes
No
If I *had* to choose, for the rest of my life I would rather…
travel around the world but always be filthy poor
stay in one city/town, but always be filthy rich
If after having a nice chat with someone online, they seem to be ignoring you completely the next day. Which would be closest to your reaction?
I’d try to contact them repeatedly
I’d be hopeful that they would make the next move
I’d assume they’re busy and leave them alone
I’d ignore them from now on
Art Crimes such as grafitti and other public visual expressions are..
Unacceptable and should remain crimes
Art and the artists should not be punished
I don’t really care
Imagine that you’re taking a walk in the woods on a nice spring day. The path ahead looks interesting, but very muddy. Your shoes aren’t water proof. What do you do?
I’d keep going.
I’d turn back.
I’d remove my shoes and continue barefoot.
Me? In the woods? Never.
Overall, do you think that what you do (or plan to do) for a living makes the world a better or worse place?
Better.
Worse.
No impact.
I neither work nor plan to.
Would you prefer to reside in a country other than the one you actually do? Assume that you could choose any other nation and would have immediate citizenship.
Yes
No
Consider your skills. Based on these, would you be able to survive at least a year in a post-apocalyptic world? Imagine no electricity, no plumbing, no grocery stores, and so on.
Most definitely.
Probably.
Possibly.
No chance.
You’re in a serious relationship and your partner wants to know about your past relationships. The details are…
None of their business
Absolutely their business
Do you believe in aliens, Big Foot, Lochness, or any other extraordinary creatures?
Yes, all of them
One or two, yes
No
I don’t know
If a partner asked you to participate in a costumed event where you’d be required to role-play, would you do it?
Yes. This sounds very appealing.
Yes, but reluctantly.
No.
Maybe, depending on the specifics.
Do you go to great lengths to avoid conflict?
Yes
No
I talk _____.
Too much. I can’t shut up.
A lot
Only when there’s something important to say.
When spoken to.
Do you ever live vicariously through characters in the stories you read or watch?
Yes, often.
Yes, sometimes.
No, never.
I don’t understand what this means.
Would you prefer the lights on or off during sex?
On
Off
It’s exactly the same to me
Half of all policemen are thieves and half of all policemen are murderers. Does it follow logically that all policemen are criminals?
Yes
No
Is the following statement true? “You can only truly love another if you love yourself.”
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
How do you feel about germs?
Obsessed: I bleach anything I can’t trust!
Careful: I wash my hands and cover my sneezes.
Polite: I always wash up when someone’s watching.
Unconcerned: I don’t actively lick doorknobs.
Do you believe that dreams can be messages from a “higher level”?
Yes
No
When it comes to travel, which do you enjoy more?
The journey.
The destination.
Both.
Neither.
Is it wrong for two adopted siblings to date each other?
Yes
No
What kind of shape are you in?
Great
Average
Shitty
How do you feel about nuclear energy?
No. It is a danger to public safety.
Yes. It is efficient, safe, and clean.
I’m not sure, there are pros and cons.
I don’t care, whatever keeps my light bulbs lit.
Etymology is…
The study of culinary arts.
The study of insects.
The study of the origins of words.
I don’t know.
Would you consider permanently living in a country other than the one you currently think of as home?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who has horribly crooked teeth?
Yes
No
Is there anything that science will never be able to explain?
Yes
No
Do you have a problem with authority?
Yes
No
Would it bother you if someone you were dating let a dog lick their face?
Yes
No
Are you smarter than the majority of people on this planet?
Yes
No
Do you believe that women should be allowed to serve in the military in a front line capacity? (i.e. infantry, etc.)
Yes
No
They shouldn’t be in the military at all
★ What do you do with your money?
Spend it all and live paycheck to paycheck.
Save some for an emergency fund; spend the rest.
Save some/most of it, but not invest it.
Save some/most of it and invest it.
Do you condone free file sharing – even if it violates copyright policies?
Yes
No
Hypothetically, and if the lack of either wouldn’t affect your health, which would you give up?
Sex
Sleep
Sleeping under the stars:
Yes!
No!
Maybe!
Would you be willing to go shopping for sex toys?
Yes.
No.
Online only.
Do you like raves?
Yes.
No.
I’ve never been to one, but I’d like to someday.
I’ve never been to one, and don’t ever want to.
Which of these is more fascinating to you?
How big the universe is.
How small molecules are.
Both are fascinating to think about!
I don’t think about that kind of stuff.
Do you own your own country’s flag?
Yes
No
★ If your partner had a problem with gambling, drugs, or alcohol abuse, do you believe it would be your place to find them help, whether it would hurt or help your relationship?
Yes, it would be worth the risk to save them!
No, My partner can make his/her own decison
I wouldn’t risk hurting our relationship
I do not care
If you discovered that something you do is bad for the environment, would you be willing to sacrifice your time or money to correct the problem?
No.
I would sacrifice my time.
I would sacrifice my money.
I would sacrifice my time and money.
Do you drink milk and juice straight out of the carton and then put it back in the fridge?
Yes, I drink it straight from the carton.
Sometimes–if no one else around to see.
Yes. Only because I don’t live with anyone else.
Ewww. No, that’s gross. I pour it first.
★ Would you date someone with a facial piercing?
Yes
No
Would you take your top off while dancing in a nightclub? (If you’re a woman, assume you have a bikini top or bra on underneath)
Yes
No
Should machines that demonstrate human or higher levels of intelligence be granted legal rights?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Do you ever pick food off of other people’s plates?
Yes, without asking.
Yes, but only after asking.
No.
An ex wants you to come over and hang out: a situation that is likely to lead to hooking back up with him or her. Do you:
Go over: it’s not like you haven’t before
Go, making sure things stay at ‘friends only’
Don’t go: can’t risk it
Suggest you both go out with a group
Would you rather have more money or more freedom?
More money
More freedom
Your cell phone rings while you are having a conversation with a friend. You:
Take the call.
Ignore the call.
See who’s calling and decide if you’ll answer.
I don’t have a cell phone.
★ Your date for the evening surprises you with a pair of opera tickets. You
ask whether Domingo or Carreras is singing.
say ‘I’ve never been before, but fun!’
go along to avoid hurting your date’s feelings.
develop a sudden, severe case of the flu.
★ Do you make any special efforts to support small, independent businesses instead of the big chains?
Yes, I support the little guys whenever I can.
No, I prefer dealing with big business chains.
I support whoever has superior products/services.
This does not concern me at all.
After a breakup, should a couple try to continue their friendship?
Yes.
No.
It depends upon the situation.
Do you think advanced primates, like chimps and apes, should be afforded some degree of “human” rights?
Yes
No
Which of the following best describes Science, in your opinion?
A belief system, no better or worse than Religion
A method one can follow to make predictions
A post-hoc explanation of God’s miracles
Hello? Like totally boring, dude
Would you enjoy going fishing with your partner?
Yes
No
Which would you prefer in terms of distributing decision making power in an ‘ideal’ relationship?
I would make most of the decisions.
My partner would make most of the decisions.
Decisions made jointly through consensus.
Distribution based upon traditional gender roles.
Do you believe in the term “meant to be”? As in fate or destiny with another person?
Yes
No
★ Could you live a life full of traveling?
Yes
No
★ If you were going to name a child, which of the following sounds most appealing?
A traditional culture-based name.
A name to honor a family member or friend.
A name after someone famous.
A unique or original name.
★ How often are you influenced by peer pressure?
Often
Rarely
Sometimes
Do you wish things like vampires, fairies, werewolves, ghosts, or something along those lines were real?
Yes
No
What is your attitude toward service-industry/hospitality professionals (waitstaff, bellhops, valets, etc.)?
They deserve their tips
They need to get a real job
It’s a good way to start your career
They’re so beneath me
Would you pose nude for a magazine?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Which is more appealing?
Order.
Randomness.
★ Do you feel that having sex with someone you have known less than one year would be too soon?
Yes
No
Which is worse, being inquisitive at the risk of seeming unsure or being confident at the risk of seeming close-minded?
Inquisitive at the risk of seeming unsure.
Confident at the risk of seeming close-minded.
You are more likely to have an orgasm via
Intercourse
Oral sex
Masturbation
Sheer force of will
Are you in favor of age restrictions on drinking alcohol?
Yes, on purchase only.
Yes, on purchase and consumption.
No.
What is your opinion of people who speak baby-talk to their pets?
Endearing. It shows their sensitive side.
Annoying as hell.
I wuv my kitty-widdy-pookie-doo!!!
I’m indifferent.
Would you ever consider having sex in a church?
Yes
No
Which typically comes first for you?
Work
Play
Would you rather be greedy or cruel?
Greedy
Cruel
I honestly can’t decide.
Would you consider dating someone who restricts their diet based on religious beliefs?
Yes, to each their own.
Yes, but only if consistent with my beliefs.
No.
The most important question to ask yourself when making a decision is…
Will everyone be happy?
Is it the right thing to do?
Will I get what I want?
★ Would you really like to stay home and spend an entire day in bed with your significant other?
Yes
No
Staying in bed the entire day is for the morbidly obese or the old.
★ A holiday or a birthday is coming up, your partner begins the rundown, not on what he/she wants, but the rules for choosing a gift (books are tacky, flowers show lack of thought, never clothing, etc.) Is this good or bad?
Good
Bad
★ If your spouse asked you to get a small discreet matching tattoo with them, would you?
Yes, Most Likely
Maybe, I would think about it
No, what if we divorced?
No, I disagree with tatoos
For you, education is:
A means to an end.
An end in of itself.
Neither of the above.
Do you conform with society more, or go against it?
Conform
Rebel
Neither / Both / Unsure
Would you risk your life to protest against an unjust government?
Yes
No
How many dates does it take for a potential significant other to get a good sense of who you are as a person?
Less than five
More than five
On average, how much alone time do you need each day?
None.
Less than one hour.
One to three hours.
More than three hours.
Do you believe that some people can see a person’s soul, just by staring into their eyes for a few moments?
Yes
No
Would you be comfortable being a step mom or dad, if you thought the person you’re dating was marriage worthy at this time?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, depending on the children.
Are you annoying?
Yes
No
Do you consider yourself a truly honest person, in all aspects of your life?
Yes
No
If your partner liked to sing in public, but was often completely off-tune, how would you react?
I’d find it cute and offer encouragement
I’d be unaffected
I’d find a way to tolerate it
I’d demand that my partner stop singing in public
Are you more of a secretive person or an open book?
Secretive
Open Book
I’m Not Sure
Somewhere In Between
Would you consider inviting a previous sex partner to your own wedding, if you are only friends now?
Yes
No
Do you believe that it is your duty to educate people who don’t share your religious beliefs?
Yes
No
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Yes
No
You discover that a partner has a huge amount of financial debt and has been hiding it from you. Which is closest to how you would react?
Dump them for dishonesty.
Dump them for financial reasons.
Stay with them, but their debt is their problem.
Stay with them, and offer to help pay their debt.
If you were out to dinner and your date was a vegetarian would you still order meat?
Yes
No
I would ask them first
I’m vegetarian too
How do you consider yourself to be in terms of logic and emotion?
Mostly logical
Mostly emotional
Equally logical and emotional
Neither logical nor emotional
Would you consider having a relationship with an alcoholic who drinks regularly?
Yes
No
Do you condone speeding and/or racing on public roads (in a car or motorcycle)?
Yes
Yes, but only in certain situations
No
I don’t know
★ In which climate zone would you prefer to live?
Tropical – I love the heat!
Mediterranean – warm, but not too hot.
Temperate – everything in moderation.
Subarctic – love the cold and snow.
Do you believe that art and literature courses are important to students, even if they are majoring in other fields?
Yes, absolutely.
I like them, but don’t know if they’re important.
No, why waste their time?
If your partner wanted to name your first born child after some person significant to them, but you thought the name was the most horrid thing in the world, would you let them?
Yes
No
You walk out of your home first thing in the morning, late for work and in a serious hurry because you greatly enjoy your job and don’t want to lose it. At the same time, a bird with a broken wing is struggling in some bushes nearby. What do you do?
Keep moving – sorry bird, I gotta roll.
Stop and do what you can to help.
Kill it – put it out of its misery.
Keep moving, but feel bad about it.
After meeting somebody new, is it acceptable to search the internet to find information about them?
Yes, this would be completely normal.
No, this would be inappropriate.
It depends…
Do you (or would you) like to go hunting?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who, prior to meeting you, was regularly using an escort service?
Yes
No
What are your feelings when a friend shares news of something wonderful that has happened to them?
Only happiness for them.
Happy for them, but somewhat envious.
I’d be happier if they had not told me.
Your partner, out of nowhere without any warning, smacks your rear end (quite hard) while out in public… you feel mostly:
Aroused
Embarrassed
Shocked
Angry
Little white lies to make people feel better…
Are necessary
Are sometimes needed
Are wrong
While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you?
Absolutely.
No way.
The best? Maybe…
If I had to choose among the following for an ideal romantic partner, I’d choose:
Someone attractive and kind.
Someone smart and kind.
Someone attractive and smart.
What do you think of the government using cameras for surveillance in public areas?
I’m opposed to it.
I’m for it.
I’m unsure / undecided.
I don’t care.
Would you ever begin dating someone who has a habit you don’t approve of with the intention of eventually asking them to stop for you?
Yes
No
Would you be comfortable masturbating in front of a partner?
Yes.
No.
I don’t masturbate.
Have you ever changed a diaper?
Yes
No, and I wouldn’t
No, but I would
If you could use your internet service for only one of the following, which would you choose?
Playing online games.
Communicating.
Surfing the web for information.
Porn.
How would you feel if your significant other made more money than you?
Very comfortable
Somewhat comfortable
Somewhat uncomfortable
Very uncomfortable
Would you be interested in visiting an Intelligent-Design theme park, where dinosaurs and humans are portrayed as having coexisted?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who had a very shady, questionable past?
Yes
No
Would you watch a porno movie with your ideal match?
Yes
No
Let’s say you work for the government. You discover confidential documents proving that the organization you work for is misusing public funds. Which would you do?
Go to the media.
Go to the appropriate law enforcement agency.
Leverage the information to further my career.
Ignore it.
Do you ever use the word “gay” as an insult or pejorative?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who conducts important medical research, but the research causes pain to laboratory animals?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, depending upon the specifics.
What is your opinion of couples who frequently say “I love you” to one another?
It’s sweet.
It’s annoying.
I’m indifferent to this.
How important would it be for you to have a work schedule that is similar to your partner’s work schedule?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
If you were in an extremely unhappy marriage, without children, would you get a divorce?
Yes
No
Does spending Friday or Saturday night at home annoy you?
Yes
No
Why do you dress the way you do?
It’s a way of expressing who I am
I want to look good in the eyes of others
I don’t think about it much, I just wear whatever
Someone else buys/picks out what I wear
Do you believe that people need bad things to happen to them in life in order to truly appreciate the good things?
Yes
No
Could you date someone who never, ever, threw anything away?
Yes
No
I don’t know
Are you living a life that is in harmony with your beliefs?
Yes, completely.
Yes, to some extent.
No, not at all.
With respect to climate, I would prefer to live somewhere where:
It is hot and summer-like throughout the year.
There are four distinct seasons.
It is consistently and comfortably average.
There is a long, cold, and snowy winter.
Is it possible for something to hurt no one– physically, mentally, or in any other way– and for it still to be morally wrong?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Should women be just as likely to be drafted during a major war as men are?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you pick up a hitchhiker?
Yes.
No.
Maybe under special circumstances.
Do you think it is acceptable for a person to stand naked in their own window so that people outside can see them?
Yes.
No.
It depends on what they look like.
I’m not sure.
If you found out that your partner had lied to you about something significant in their life, would that be grounds to terminate the relationship?
Yes
No
While borrowing your friend’s new $500 digital camera… you drop it. It still seems to be working fine afterwards. Do you tell them what happened?
Yes: it could be my fault if it breaks later.
No: it could be my fault if it breaks later!
Depends: how close are we, exactly?
Do you typically speak and write in a clear, precise manner?
Yes, almost always.
Yes, but only for classes/work.
It depends on my mood.
Ha, my language is vague and messy.
How do you take care of household pests (cockroaches, spiders and the like)?
Squish!
Careful Relocation Outside
I’m Not Sure
Live and Let Live
Do you believe that money can buy happiness?
Yes
No
Which would you rather drive?
A fast sports car
An SUV
Something more environmentally friendly
Imagine you discover that your ‘happily married’ best friend has a profile on a dating site, listing them as single and looking. What would you do?
Inform his/her spouse.
Confront him/her privately.
Offer him/her support.
Nothing, it’s none of my business.
Should law enforcement be allowed to lie to suspects during interrogation?
Yes
No
★ The diamond dependent economy of West Africa causes civil wars and crimes against humanity. Should people consider this when purchasing or receiving an engagement ring?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
I don’t care
Which is the greatest compliment you could receive?
That you are beautiful
That you are intelligent
That you are talented
That you are fun
★ Could you date someone who is androgynous?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
★ Can a person change who they are without betraying who they are?
No, be true to yourself as you are.
Yes, it’s good to evolve
I’m not sure, but I think about it a lot.
I don’t know, and it’s not important.
During a romantic evening at your significant others’ house, he or she puts on a slow song and asks you to dance. How would you respond?
Very romantic! I’m up for it!
I think its corny, but I’ll do it anyway!
Not my kinda thing.
I’m not sure.
Would it bother you if someone you are dating has a lot of close friends of the opposite sex?
Yes
No
Which best describes your personal feelings about sports?
Sports are a very important part of my life.
I play or watch sports often.
I play or watch sports occasionally.
I don’t watch or play sports.
When you are feeling down or blue, which is most comforting to you?
Food.
Sex.
Exercise.
Music.
Do you often find yourself wanting to chuck it all and go to live on a sailboat?
Yes
No
Would you continue to date someone who you felt would always put their pet(s) before you?
Yes
No
Hypothetically, would you love and support your significant other’s children the same way you would love and support your own?
Yes.
No.
It would depend on the circumstances.
Would you consider becoming a foster parent?
Yes
No
★ While evaluating someone you are dating, do you find yourself placing much importance on how good of a parent you think they’ll make?
Yes.
No.
Just a little.
Should it be socially acceptable for women have the choice/right to be topless in any area where it is ok for men to be topless?
Yes
No
In general, how content are you with your own appearance?
Very content.
Somewhat content.
Not very content.
Which best describes your attitude toward dating?
Dating is something I enjoy for its own sake.
Dating can be fun, but it should lead to more.
I don’t like dating, but it’s a means to an end.
I do not like dating, period.
How do you feel about nations spending billions of dollars on space exploration?
It’s important for it’s own sake.
The new technologies developed benefit everybody.
Problems here on earth are more urgent.
I don’t care.
Would you be willing to engage in mutual masturbation with someone? You would be pleasing yourself and watching them do the same, but no touching each other.
Yes
No
You see someone at a party who isn’t talking to anyone. Do you
Introduce yourself. They look nervous.
Ignore them. They look snotty.
Hang back and see if anyone else talks to them.
Hit on them. They look lonely.
Would you give the police significantly more power, if it would lower crime rates?
Yes
No
Would you consider voting for a candidate from outside your own political party if they seemed superior to your party’s own candidate?
Yes
No
I’d vote, but have no political party affiliation
I would not vote at all
Are you able to make a decision and stick to it?
Always
Sometimes
Rarely
Never
How do you feel about zoos?
I think they’re lots of fun!
Sure, they’re fine.
Those poor, locked-up animals!
Zoos are boring.
Would you consider a serious long-term relationship with someone who insists on living alone, permanently?
Yes
No
If you had your own private hot tub, would you go nude in it?
Yes, always.
Yes, but only when alone or with someone special.
Yes, but only when alone.
No, never.
You are arguing with someone and they start to act agressively. You:
Back down – you don’t want violence
Ignore the signs and keep arguing
Get agressive right back at them
I’d have backed down way before that stage!
★ Would you be attracted to someone who agreed with everything you did or said?
Yes
No
Generally speaking, do you believe that violent revolution is a legitimate method of effecting fundamental social, political, and economic change?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
I don’t care about such matters
Do you think it is possible to have more than one soul mate in a single lifetime?
Yes
No
I don’t believe in soul mates
What volume level do you usually prefer when listening to music?
Loud or louder.
Somewhere in the middle.
Soft and in the background.
I prefer to not listen to music.
Is it possible to have a true relationship, friend or otherwise, with someone you’ve never met in person?
Yes
No
What do you think of voyeurism?
It turns me on.
It turns me off.
It is perverted.
I don’t care.
Would you date someone who had a serious drug addiction in the distant past?
Yes
No
Which of the following philosophies do you most closely follow?
Treat others as I would like to be treated.
Treat others as they treat me.
Treat others as best benefits me.
How much of your love life do you tell your friends?
They know every detail.
They know a lot.
They know the basics.
They know nothing.
★ Do you prefer to pursue a potential partner, or for them to pursue you?
I’d rather pursue.
I’d rather be pursued.
I prefer a little of both.
★ Which is more important to your life, passion or happiness?
Passion
Happiness
Looking toward the future, which of the following do you see as most important for you in ten years?
Being in a good relationship.
Having a good job.
Being wealthy.
Being healthy.
★ Should the government censor publicly broadcast television and radio shows for profane language?
Yes
No
★ Would you allow your partner to kiss you after performing oral sex on you?
Allow? I enjoy it.
Yes.
No.
It depends.
★ Do you believe that the global flood (Noah’s ark) actually happened?
Yes
No
Can someone who cheats on their partner be a fit parent?
Yes
No
★ Do you think the public should have access to any literature, regardless of its content?
Yes
No; some things should be censored
★ Are you an intellectual? In the context of this question, intellectual means someone who loves learning, often for its own sake.
Yes
No
I find learning boring
★ It’s your first date. Do you split the bill, pay the whole bill, have them pay the whole bill
Split the bill
Pay the whole bill
Have them pay the whole bill
It doesn’t matter to me
Which of the following would be the best birthday or anniversary date?
Blindfolded and taken somewhere special & new
Classic: movies and dinner
Something different: sky diving, hiking, etc.
★ Has Christianity made the world better or worse?
Better
Worse
No opinion / Not sure
Do you think it’s okay for males to wear makeup?
Yes
No
Imagine that you receive a document that absolutely proves whether or not God exists. Upon reading the document and finding the truth, you must decide whether or not to share the proof with the world. Which would you do?
Share the truth regardless of what it is
Keep the truth to myself regardless of what it is
Share only if it proves that God exists
Share only if it proves that God does not exist
Would you terminate a pregnancy if the baby was going to be mentally disabled?
Yes
No
It depends on the severity
★ If after years of being with a partner, you found out that they could not have children and would not be willing to adopt, would you want to stay with them?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Could Evolution and Intelligent Design both be right?
Yes
No
★ Do you litter?
Often
Rarely
Never
Would you get upset if your partner flirted in front of you?
Yes
No
Do you believe that heterosexual pornography is degrading to women?
Yes.
No.
Some is – Some isn’t.
I’m not sure.
Do you have a child or children?
Yes
No
Do you keep a budget of your finances?
Yes
No
Sometimes
Let’s say you are in line at a grocery store and have many items. The person behind you just has only one or two. Do you offer to let them go ahead of you?
Yes. Always.
Yes, unless I am otherwise in a hurry.
No. Never.
What’s the best conversation material for a first date?
Jobs, pets, hobbies
What you want out of a relationship
Goals, plans, wishes, hopes
Conversation?
★ Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own skin color / racial background?
Yes
No
Do you stand outside the bathroom door and talk to people while they’re taking care of business?
No, I would consider it bad manners.
Only if its urgent.
Sure, why not?
I just barge in!
Would you say that you’re the type of person who…
learns from their mistakes
sometimes continues bad habits
doesn’t see the point in learning from them
doesn’t make any mistakes
Do you believe that scientific investigation is the only effective method to gain meaningful knowledge about the universe?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Is it okay to live with someone you’re dating, even before you’re engaged or married?
Yes
No
Would you ever film a sexual encounter without your partner knowing?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ When texting with a potential partner, is use of proper grammar and spelling important to you?
Yes
No
Would you be okay with your significant other spending a lot of time with one of his/her exes (as a friend)?
Yes
No
Which is more important in a healthy relationship?
Maintaining privacy
Total openness
Would you dump someone simply because they weren’t good at sex?
Yes
No
★ Do you condone the wearing of fur for fashion?
Yes, why not?
No, those poor animals!
Sort of; faux fur only!
No opinion or don’t know/care.
If you could have one but NOT the other, would you rather:
Love someone
Be loved by someone
Do you normally treat other people as you’d like to be treated?
Yes
No
Maybe / not sure
In a relationship I like to discuss politics with my partner.
All the time!
Sure. I’m interested in sharing our beliefs.
Sometimes. It depends.
Hardly. Politics are boring or personal.
★ Which would you rather be?
Normal
Weird
★ What do you think of laws that make smoking illegal in bars and restaurants?
I support the laws
I oppose the laws
Would you continue in a relationship if you knew your partner was faking their enjoyment of sex just to make you happy?
Yes
No
At what age do children become old enough to spend several hours at home without the supervision of an adult or babysitter?
Seven years old or younger.
Eight to ten years old.
Eleven to thirteen years old.
Fourteen years old or older.
Imagine you have a significant other who reveals they have a video of a sexual encounter from a prior relationship and offers to show it to you. Would you want to see it?
Yes
No
★ Someone you are interested in sometimes becomes very emotional over forms of art (movies, music, poetry.) How does this make you feel?
They are a sissy
It’s cool / ok
I am the same way
For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy?
Yes
No
Would you prefer good things happened, or interesting things?
Good
Interesting
Do you believe that humans are the most important animal species on Earth?
Yes
No
I’m not sure
Some religions are more correct than others.
True
False
★ Do you spend more money on clothes or food?
Clothes
Food
Which type of education would you prefer for your children?
Public.
Private.
Religious.
Home.
★ Do you enjoy crude humor, dirty jokes, and the like?
Yes, and I often try to push the boundaries!
Usually, yes.
Not in most cases, no.
Absolutely not at all.
When people ask for things for themselves through prayer, this seems:
Good.
Evil.
Lazy.
Selfish.
★ Do you believe you have the right to forbid your significant other anything?
Yes
No
Do you think it is possible for two people to be just friends when one of them is romantically in love with the other?
Yes
No
Is it wrong to watch pornographic films if you’re in a relationship?
Yes
No
What’s more important?
Safety
Freedom
If you discovered a spider on the wall in your bedroom, which would you do?
Ignore it.
Kill it.
Catch it and put it outside.
Find someone else to deal with it.
Generally, do you enjoy being drunk?
Yes
No
I don’t know, because I’ve never been drunk.
★ Outside of work and school, how inclined are you to investigate something that interests you?
Very inclined
Somewhat inclined
Not inclined
★ Do you attempt to conserve water, energy or other resources during your everyday life?
Yes, almost always
Sometimes
No, I don’t care
No, it’s my right to waste as much as I want
If you were in a committed long-term relationship and met someone you feel an even stronger attraction to, which would you do?
Continue current relationship, ignore attraction.
Explore both relationships simultaneously.
End the old relationship and pursue the new one.
★ Would you rather live in the big city or a small town?
Big city
Small town
★ If a significant other decided they wanted to have or adopt six children with you, would this be okay?
Yes.
No.
Possibly, depending on the situation.
Is supporting the troops the same thing as supporting a war?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
How much would it bother you if someone spoiled the end of a novel you were reading?
I would be very annoyed.
I would be a little annoyed.
It would not bother me at all.
I don’t read novels.
Do you believe that when a soldier kills an enemy soldier in combat during a war it is murder?
Yes
No
★ How important is art in your daily life?
Very Important
Somewhat Important
Not Important
I don’t care
Should the recipient give back an engagement ring if the engagement is broken off?
Yes.
No.
Only if the recipient initiates the break up.
In terms of animal rights, do you believe that all species should be equally protected by law?
Yes.
No, some species have more rights than others.
No, animal rights should not be protected at all.
★ How do you feel about living with a signficant other before marriage?
Nothing wrong with that.
Maybe, depending on the situation.
I’m against that.
I’m not sure.
A growing friendship is turning into attraction for you, but you are pretty sure the other person just wants friendship. What do you do?
I’d discuss my feelings with them.
I’d show affection and see what happens.
I’d do nothing and avoid risking our friendship.
I’d avoid them alltogether.
If some men are doctors and some doctors are tall, does it follow that some men are tall?
Yes
No
I HATE LOGIC.
Imagine that a first date picks you up in a car. The car is old and run-down, but otherwise clean. How would the car affect your opinion of your date?
Positively – Any car is good.
Negatively – I don’t like riding in old jalopies.
Could go either way, depending on the make/model.
Not at all – It’s all about the driver.
★ Do humans and modern primates (apes, chimps, etc) share a common evolutionary ancestor?
Yes
No
Unsure
STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to…
89457
98547
89754
89547
Love conquers all.
True.
False.
Are you an adventurous eater? Do you like to try new foods and cuisines?
Yes, all the time.
Yes, if it’s not too strange.
On rare occasions/I don’t know.
No, yuck.
★ Are you happy with your life?
Yes
No
Do you like to watch sports on television?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who works in a job that involves animal testing for medical purposes?
Yes
No
Have you ever been in love?
Yes
No
In general, do you think people involved in relationships are better off than people who are single?
Yes
No
Should prostitution be legal?
Yes, absolutely
Yes, only if it were regulated
I don’t think so
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When you have plans to meet someone at a certain time, it’s best to be:
A little early.
A little late.
Precisely on time.
Whatever.
★ Consider the recent fictional movies you have watched. Which of the following aspects do you find most disturbing?
Sex.
Violence.
Racial or cultural stereotyping.
None of the above disturbs me.
Overall, has capitalism made the world a better place?
Yes
No
★ Do you believe in God?
Yes
No
Will you teach your children to believe in Santa?
Yes
No
As long as you both agreed that nobody else would ever see the video, would you let a partner film the two of you having sex?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, depending upon the partner.
★ In a conversation are you usually…
Listening
Waiting to speak
★ Do you think the standard of western morality has declined in the last thirty years?
Yes, I yearn for better values.
No, things are better now.
Can’t compare. Values are relative. / Don’t know
Are you careful with your money?
Yes
No
You have just been unfairly laid off from work. As you are leaving, you have an opportunity to steal something of value, and nobody would know. Would you take it?
Yes
No
If you like someone a lot, do you usually ask them out?
Yes
No
How many times would a person have to turn you down before you took the hint?
Just the once.
I like to try a few times just to make sure.
After the 10th time I call it quits.
I’m relentless!
★ How important is money/wealth for you in a match?
Very important
Somewhat important
Not important at all
How confident are you in your sexual abilities?
Super confident
Confident
Not really confident
Would you consider having an open relationship (i.e., one where you can see other people)?
Yes
No
If you received a virus warning by email, would you forward it to friends or family?
Yes
No
Would you be pleased if a partner expressed the desire to be sexually humiliated by you?
Yes
No
★ How does your maturity level compare with most people your age?
I’m more mature
I’m average
I’m less mature
Do you think angry or pornographic music lyrics should be kept, by law, away from kids?
Yes
No
★ Do you enjoy exercise?
Yes
No
★ If you don’t do anything at all for an entire day, how does that make you feel?
Good
Bad
Regardless of whether or not you smoke marijuana, do you think it should be legalized for adults?
Yes
No
Might you consider dating someone who confided to you that he/she had a sexually transmitted disease?
Yes
No
Let’s say you ask your partner a question and know with certaintly that their answer is a lie, what do you do about it?
Ignore it
Discreetly probe for more information
Call them out and see where it goes
Terminate the relationship, effective immediately
Do you find glasses attractive?
Yes
No
No Preference
Would you inform law enforcement agencies about a friend committing a serious crime?
Yes
Maybe
No
★ Would you consider dating someone who has undergone surgery to induce sterility?
Yes
No
How would you react if a partner bought you an outfit to be worn during sex?
Positively.
Negatively.
Indifferently.
It would depend upon the outfit.
★ What’s the highest level of education you’ve completed?
Graduate School
College
High School
Junior High
★ In a relationship, how important is it for you to be in control?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
★ Which is worse: starving children or abused animals?
Starving children.
Abused animals.
Neither, both are good.
Neither, they are equally bad.
The survival of another species should be…
Our responsibility.
Unimportant.
Determined exclusively by natural selection.
Determined by its usefulness to humanity.
Hypothetical: You are (romantically) interested in someone. After a few dates there is definitely chemistry. Since your last encounter, they’ve had a brief fling, but are still very interested in you. How do you feel?
I want nothing more to do with them…
I’m unimpressed, but will give them a chance…
It really doesn’t matter…
Let’s say you don’t agree with a law, one that won’t change. Which is your responsibility?
Breaking it when it suits you
Obeying it until it changes
★ Would you fight for your country in an unjust war?
Yes
No
For the right person, how long do you think that you could sustain a long-distance relationship?
I couldn’t do one, period.
One year or shorter.
More than one but less than three years.
Three years or longer.
★ Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other?
Yes
No
★ If an acquaintance mentioned something negative about a person you just met who otherwise seemed nice, how open would you be to give the person you just met a chance?
Very open.
Somewhat open, I’d be very cautious.
There would be no chance for this person.
Should the death penalty be abolished?
Yes
No
Right this minute, how clean is your main personal bathroom, (say the one you use every morning when you wake up in your own bed)?
Spotless, shiny, germ-free, clean clean clean.
Clean-ish but could use a quick touch-up.
Not awful, but it could use a good cleaning.
Disgusting! even I cringe when I have to use it!
Would you ever record a video of yourself having sex?
Yes
No
Which is the day before the day after yesterday?
Yesterday.
Today.
Tomorrow.
The life of one of your fellow citizens is more valuable than the lives of ten foreigners.
True
False
Would you date a transgender person?
Yes
No
★ Should burning your country’s flag be illegal?
Yes
No
★ Do you mock religion?
Yes, openly
Yes, to myself/with friends
No
Would you ever date someone that is HIV positive?
Yes
No
I don’t know
★ Do you think people who have entered the country illegally should be deported?
Yes, all of them
Some of them
No, none of them
★ Which of the following do you find to be the most liberating?
Travel.
Financial independence.
Art.
Sexuality.
Choose the better romantic activity:
Kissing in Paris
Kissing in a tent, in the woods
Imagine you are walking down the street at night and hear a cry for help. Which would you do?
Call the police.
Investigate.
Call the police and investigate.
Ignore it.
If a partner asked you to have sex in a sex shop booth with others watching, would you?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
How many times a week do you go out to eat?
0-2
3-4
5-6
7+
How comfortable would you be talking about your own personal body waste-removal experiences with someone you are interested in?
Very comfortable.
Somewhat comfortable.
Somewhat uncomfortable.
Very uncomfortable.
Do you enjoy provoking people just to get a response?
Often.
Sometimes.
Never.
Are you scared of commitment?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
★ On your days off, do you like to get out and make the most of the day, or do you prefer to sleep late and relax?
Get up and do something
Sleep late and relax
It varies
★ If a partner would not respond to your emotional needs unless you made them known verbally, would you have a problem with this?
Yes
No
★ Which would you rather lose:
the ability to reproduce
the ability to orgasm
How often are you tested for STDs?
Never
Before/After every new partner
Regularly
Only when I’m worried about specific one
Graffiti that is done without permission of the owner is:
Vandalism.
Art.
Both.
Neither.
★ Do you believe in dinosaurs?
Yes
No
Do you approve of public nudity?
Yes
No
What’s cooler?
Clothes that are too tight
Clothes that are too loose
In your ideal sexual encounter, do you take control, or do they?
I take control
They take control
How long can you go without sexual release?
A day or less.
More than a day, less than a week.
More than a week.
I have never had sexual release.
★ If you were visiting a new city, where would you be most excited to go?
Tourist attractions or entertainment venues.
Historically or culturally important places.
Places popular with the locals.
Home.
Rate your self-confidence:
Very, very high
Higher than average
Average
Below average
How often do you find yourself holding back your knowledge of a subject because of how it might affect your image?
Very often.
Sometimes.
Rarely.
Never.
Which of the following do you think would provide the biggest reduction in crime rates?
More and better trained police
More and better armed civilians
More and better implemented social programs
More severe punishment for convicted criminals
Which is longer?
A mile
A kilometer
I don’t know!
How long does it take to know truly and understand a person you’re dating?
Weeks
Months
Years
Who really knows anyone?
Is a welfare system a good idea? Or does taxing for it just take money away from hard-working people who earned it?
Welfare is mostly good
Welfare is mostly bad
Serious relationships?
Great!
Feel like jail.
What is your opinion on acts of spreading propaganda to vilify political candidates?
It’s never acceptable
It may be ok, but only if the information is true
It’s ok, as long as the spreaders believe it
It’s all acceptable – It goes with the territory
When a relationship ends, what’s the best thing to do?
Try and be friends with your ex
Go your separate ways
Could you ever date a person who was desperately unsure of themselves?
Yes
No
Maybe
Would you be concerned if your partner still masturbated, even though you were sexually active together?
Yes
No
Maybe / I don’t know
★ Were you ever addicted to an illicit substance?
Yes, I am still using
Yes, but I quit
No
★ Do you believe the government should be allowed to keep anything secret?
Never!
Some things, yes.
How trusting are you where it concerns your government?
Completely.
Somewhat.
Not at all.
★ Your significant other wants to move every few years, to experience different parts of the country or world. What’s your take on that?
My bags are packed, let’s go
Eh, as long as it’s not too often I guess it’s ok
As long as we’re not leaving the country
I’d prefer to stay put
Assuming you were in the position to do so and asked to make the final decision, would you launch nuclear weapons under any circumstance?
Yes
No
Do you find that arguing with your significant other is arousing to you?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Do you consider yourself to be an honorable person?
Yes, I always try to do the right thing.
Sometimes, it depends on the situation.
No, not really.
Are you kidding? I lie, cheat , AND steal.
Would you lie to keep your lover from going to jail?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you prefer a daughter or a son?
Daughter
Son
Indifferent
Neither
At the end of an artistic performance you are attending, most of the audience stands and applauds wildly. You found the performance to be mediocre at best. In this situation, you:
Give them the Standing O with everyone else
Stay seated but applaud politely.
Stay seated without applauding.
Do you enjoy long camping trips? (longer than 3 nights)
I don’t like to camp.
I’ve never camped, but would like to.
I like to camp, but not long trips.
I love long camping trips.
If a trusted partner asked you to submit to them sexually, would you? Assume that this would involve letting them collar you, command you, and have control over you during sex.
Yes
No
Should a country always need the UN’s approval before declaring war?
Yes
No
Are people who believe in the paranormal (IE: Ghosts, Vampires, Aliens, ESP, etc.) all crazy or suffering from some sort of mental disorder/delusion?
Yes, and they all need mental help, now.
Yes, but I couldn’t care less.
No, but I personally don’t believe
No, I’m a very big believer in the paranormal.
★ Would you consider being in a relationship with someone who has had homosexual sex?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure / Depends how serious it was
When you offer criticism, how is it most often received?
As constructive.
As destructive.
Some of both – It depends upon the situation.
I don’t offer criticism.
Are you a good liar?
Yes
No
Have you ever gotten back with someone who cheated on you?
Yes, people can change.
Yes, but I’ll never do it again!
No way.
Never been in that situation.
“I need you” or “I want you.” Which would you prefer to hear a partner say?
I need you.
I want you.
★ Should speech be…
Completely free
Have some censorship
Be very censored
Only say what the dictator wants!
How important is it to you that your partner smell good?
Very damn important
Important-ish
Less important than you think
I just don’t care at all
If you previously had a sexually transmitted disease of which you have been completely cured and can no longer pass on, would you disclose this information to partners before having sex with them?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
Is it important to you that your family approve of your relationships?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Imagine that a friend asks you to read a short story they wrote. Unfortunately, you find it to be very boring. Which is closest to how you might respond when they ask you what you think of it?
I’d pretend I like it.
I’d offer constructive suggestions.
I’d be very clear and honest.
I’d tell them I haven’t had time to read it yet.
Should adults be required by law to wear seatbelts when riding as passengers in automobiles?
Yes
No
Imagine that you win $10M. Which of the following would be closest to how you would handle the winnings?
Buy all those toys.
Invest for the future.
A balance of the above.
Give to family, friends, and/or charity.
Do you practice or believe in real magick, not to be confused with stage magic and parlor tricks?
Yes
No
How long would a relationship have to last before you would consider seeing a counselor to resolve problems?
Less than one year.
One to three years.
More than three years.
I would never submit to relationship counseling.
Do you find yourself affected more by movies than by real life?
Yes!
No…
I sure hope not
★ You witness your next door neighbors discreetly smoking marijuana on their own property. How do you respond?
I call the police immediately.
I warn them that next time I’ll call the police.
I ask them if I can join in.
I don’t. I’m as friendly (or not) as always.
Would you try to create a child if you understood there to be a 1-in-4 chance it would be born with a major defect?
Yes.
No.
I’m not sure.
★ I accept other people’s quirks:
Enthusiastically
Readily
Grudgingly
Not at all
How frequently do you go out of your way to make others feel appreciated?
Way more than average
About average
Less than average / Never
★ Are you the type of person to tell a homeless person to get a job?
Yes
No
★ Do you have a problem with people who wear fur clothing?
Yes
No
In the absense of major predators, do you support population control for large herbivores such as deer or buffalo?
Killing for any reason is wrong
In principle, but not by setting hunters loose
yes, it’s the natural order of things
If they are out of control kill them all
Do you want your partner to be kinkier than you?
Yes
No
Not possible
★ Would you date someone who is bisexual?
Yes
No
Would you like to have someone strap on a dildo and put it inside you?
Yes
No
Do you feel it is necessary to have a significant other at all times in your life?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you ever start a relationship with someone who was still living with an ex for financial reasons? Assume they slept in separate beds.
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you do something outrageous, stupid, or adventurous simply because it would make a good story to tell later?
Yes, whenever possible.
Yes, but nothing too crazy.
Maybe, depends on what and who with.
No, and please don’t run with scissors.
Do you believe that it is possible to experience romantic love for more than one person at a time without loving one less because of your love for the other?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Imagine that your partner enjoys smelling various parts of your body, especially after you had a long day or just exercised. Would you want them to do so?
Yes.
No.
Only after I have taken steps to be clean.
★ If a police officer is found guilty of a crime, do you believe the punishment should be more or less severe than for the average citizen?
More severe.
Less severe.
Equally severe.
★ Are you looking for a partner to have children with?
Yes
No
Are you accepting of other people?
I’m highly benevolent
I’m selective
I’m fussy
I’m a hard-nosed bastard
Do you believe your country would be more or less safe if every adult owned a gun?
More safe
Less safe
Neither / unsure
Would you consider dating someone who works primarily in a formal position as part of an organized spiritual faith?
Yes.
No.
Only if the faith is consistent with my beliefs.
Would you support assisted suicide/right-to-die legislation?
Yes.
No.
I don’t know.
Is it important to be friends before being lovers ?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
Would you have sex with someone you hated?
Yes
No
How do you feel about people with past addictions?
Completely uninterested
Extremely hesitant
A little hesitant
Totally fine
While walking down the street, you see an amazingly attractive member of your preferred gender. They are completely naked and floating three feet in the air. Which is more intriguing?
The fact that they’re naked
The fact that they’re defying gravity
Would you ever marry for anything other than love?
Yes
No
★ How much influence or control do your parents have over your life?
I am my own person.
I consider their opinion but go my own way.
I almost always do what my parents think is best.
I always do what my parents say.
Would it bother you if your partner kept pictures of previous partner(s)?
Yes
No
Which of these do you use/consult the MOST when making decisions?
Mysticism/Religion/Higher Power
Emotion/Instinct
Logic/Reason
Random Chance
★ Which is more offensive: book burning or flag burning?
book burning
flag burning
Would you open your spouse’s personal mail?
We’re a couple, who cares?
No, that’s theirs to open.
Are you narcissistic?
Completely!
Quite a bit
A tiny bit
Not at all
If your partner wanted you to say a specific phrase during sex, would you?
Yes, I’d say anything they want me to.
No, I wouldn’t.
Maybe, it would depend upon the phrase.
How would you react if your lover called you by the name of their ex?
I’d get mad and/or dump him/her.
I’d pretend I didn’t hear.
I’d laugh about it/wouldn’t really care.
I’d talk to him/her about it.
Are you scared of the future?
Yes, a lot
Yes, a little
No, not really
No, not at all
Could you date someone who has (and acts on) radical-left politics?
Yes
No way, you commie
As long as it’s non-violent.
Not sure
★ Who is more annoying, the person who talks too much or the person who doesn’t talk enough?
The person who talks too much.
The person who doesn’t talk enough.
Does hanging out in an empty field, in the middle of no where, at 2am to watch a meteor shower sound like fun to you?
Heck yeah! I’ll bring the hot cocoa/coffee/tea.
I’ve never done it but it sounds like fun.
I could take it or leave it.
Sounds like a complete waste of time.
★ Your significant other has a hobby that you find boring. They’re busy doing whatever it is they like to do, and you’re bored. What do you do?
Go do something I like, alone
Sit and watch to figure out why they like it.
Sit and watch, resentful.
Bug them for attention.
A man is walking down the street and is covered with what appears to be someone’s blood. Which would be closest to your response?
Call the authorities.
Confront him.
Do nothing other than avoid him.
Ask him if he needs help.
Overall, do you think feminism has had a positive or negative impact on human civilization?
Positive.
Negative.
Neither.
Which would be closest to your response if you discovered there were nude pictures of a partner on the internet?
Put an end to this relationship.
Nothing – This is irrelevant.
Encourage the practice – Let all the world see.
Attempt to personally profit with more pictures.
Imagine your partner enjoys getting naked in public places where nudity is not socially acceptable. This would be:
A turn-on.
A turn-off.
Irrelevant.
If someone sends you an e-mail (or has a profile) full of spelling and grammatical errors, are you less likely to talk to them?
Yes
No
Could you fall in love with someone you have only talked to online?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who routinely has one-way conversations with inanimate objects?
Yes
No
When it comes to gambling, which is closest to your style?
Cautious.
Aggressive.
Somewhere in the middle.
I don’t gamble.
On a warm night, a gentle rain begins and the sky is lit bright as day by occasional flashes of cloud-to-cloud lightning. You:
Hide under the bed!
Ignore it.
Run to the window to watch.
Run outside to dance and play!
Your significant other’s ex is coming into town and he/she wants to go out to dinner with them alone. How do you react?
Sure, no problem.
Not thrilled, but go ahead.
No way.
Can you be single and truly happy at the same time?
Yes
No
Do you feel as though the craziest, most experimental stage of your life is in the past, or has yet to come?
It’s in the past.
It’s yet to come
I’m living it now.
I haven’t and don’t plan on having such a stage.
Would you be interested in playing a board game or card game with a partner with the condition that whatever the winner says, in terms of sex, the loser does?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, with certain limitations.
Are politics interesting?
Yes
No
Sometimes
If you were otherwise willing to enter into a marriage or life-long partnership, would you consider signing a prenuptial or equivalent agreement at the request of your partner?
Yes
No
★ Is it acceptable for a country to spend more money on its defense program, military, or war budget than on its education or welfare programs?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
If your partner wanted to pay for you, as a couple, to see a professional dominatrix would you go?
Yes
No
Are you comfortable using the toilet while your partner is in the bathroom with you or being in the bathroom while they’re using the toilet?
Yes, I’m not shy about it at all!
Pretty much, as long as we’re close.
No way! I like my privacy.
I’m not sure/I don’t know.
When you take a liking to someone you…
Talk to them as often as possible.
Talk to them occasionally.
Wait for them to talk to you.
Avoid them.
★ Would you date someone who has no intention of contacting either one or both parents ever again? (Assume that the parents in question are living.)
Yes.
Only if there were good reasons for no contact.
No.
★ Commitment to personal growth is:
For wimps.
Critically important.
Sort of important
Could you have a long-term relationship with someone who expressed that they felt unworthy of having you?
Yes
No
★ Who has the more honorable profession: a teacher who cultivates young minds or a soldier who defends your country?
Teacher
Soldier
Where should breast-feeding be allowed?
Anywhere.
Only where others are allowed to eat.
Only in discrete / designated areas.
Only in private.
Which best describes your method for paying off financial debt?
I pay off debt as soon as possible.
I pay off debt when it is best for me.
I avoid paying if at all possible.
I never borrow money.
★ How would you say your self esteem is?
High
Low
Neither high nor low
★ Would you encourage the love of your life to leave if you knew he or she would be happiest with someone else?
Yes
No
Could you marry someone for a reason other than love?
Yes
No
Maybe
How important is it that your partner be willing and able to participate in meaningful philosophical conversations?
Extremely important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
Do you believe in the power of prayer?
Yes
No
Imagine you discover that a close friend of yours is having an affair with a married person. Would this affect your friendship?
No.
Yes.
Yes. In fact, I could no longer be their friend.
★ Do you believe that men should be the heads of their households?
Yes
No
If you found out your partner was cheating on you, would you cheat on them in revenge?
Yes, they have it coming!
No, I’d confront them.
No, I’d dump them on the spot.
Maybe, if one of their friends is cute.
Imagine that, through some misfortune, your significant other loses the ability to have sex again. Do you stay with them?
Yes.
No.
Only if we’re free to have sex with someone else.
Assuming you’ve been in a failed relationship, Does your ex-partner’s opinion still matter to you?
Yes, a little.
No, never.
Yes, still waiting on a second chance!
Do you get along well with shy and socially awkward people?
Yes
No
★ If you hooked up with someone and a pregnancy unexpectedly resulted, would you feel that you should get married?
Yes
No
How would you feel about learning Tantric sexual practices?
Sign me up for the next class.
Get a book or video and learn more.
I have no interest.
I am already experienced in Tantric sex.
You just prepared some food in your kitchen and made a mess. Do you:
Clean up immediately.
Clean up immediately after eating.
Postpone the cleanup for later.
Not cleanup at all.
I find myself in fights with authority figures…
Often
Rarely / never
Imagine you and your significant other both have the afternoon off. If you could only choose one of the following activities to do together, which one would it be?
See a movie.
Stay in and have sex.
Catch up on chores at home.
Go shopping.
Would you ever be willing to skip out on responsibilities (such as work, school, or such) to stay at home and have sex with someone?
Yes. Sex always comes first.
Yes. Occasionally.
No. Never.
★ If you could have one wish granted, who’d benefit most from it?
I would.
My family and friends would.
My nation would.
Everyone would.
★ Are some sex acts with consenting adults inherently wrong or immoral? Assume no unusual risk of injury.
Yes
No
Have you ever tried any sexual roleplaying?
All the time. It really turns me on!
Yes, on occasion. I have to be in the mood.
No, but it sounds interesting.
No, and it isn’t going to happen. Ever.
Which best describes the extent of your knowledge in terms of breadth and depth?
I have very deep knowlege of a narrow area.
I know a little about almost everything.
I know a lot about a lot.
I am basically stupid.
How important is it for you to give expensive gifts on a regular basis when in a relationship?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
What would you think of a romantic prospect who uses childish language when being affectionate?
I’d like it.
I wouldn’t like it.
It would depend upon the situation.
If a company contacted you as a reference for a friend who is applying for a job, would you consider lying to help your friend get the job?
Yes
No
Would you enjoy a night in playing video games?
Yes
No
Do you find it disturbing that products are still tested on animals?
Yes
No
How does the thought of someone masturbating with you in mind make you feel?
Shocked
Disgusted
Flattered
Aroused
★ No means NO!
Always. Period.
Mostly, occasionally it’s really a Yes in disguise
A No is just a Yes that needs a little convincing!
Never, they all want me. They just don’t know it.
★ If you absolutely despised your significant other’s parents, would you tell your significant other?
Yes.
No.
I’m Not Sure.
What level of trust do you think you should have for a complete stranger?
High.
Medium.
Low.
Zero.
★ Are you an Atheist?
Yes
No
Would you consider dating someone who is in the process of getting divorced?
Yes
No
Do you like scary movies?
Yes
No
Strip clubs?
I would be there every day of the week if I could
They can be fun every once and a while
I do not really have an opinion/never been to one
They’re gross/disgusting/insulting/other
Would you date someone who still lives with their parents?
Yes
No
★ How often do you try things (food, activities, music, whatever) that you’ve never tried before?
Several times per week, or more.
Several times per month.
Several times per year.
Rarely or never.
Do you enjoy watching educational programming on television?
Yes, often.
Yes, on occasion.
No, never.
Is it ever okay to publicly argue with a significant other?
Yes
No
If Heaven and Hell really existed, to which do you think you’d be assigned?
Heaven
Hell
Do you consider astrology to be a legitimate science?
Yes
No
Where would you prefer to live?
A modest house in a nice neighborhood.
The nicest house in a modest neighborhood.
Are geeks sexy?
Yes
No
Which of the following do you consider to be the best explanation for the existence of human life on Earth?
Humans evolved from other species.
Humans were created by a higher power.
Humans were brought to Earth from the stars.
I’m not sure.
Are you willing to wear uncomfortable clothes to look good?
Absolutely not
On very special occasions
Sometimes
Usually yes
★ Are you Christian?
Yes
No
★ Could you date someone who needs a great deal of alone time?
Yes
No
A few long, slow, deep kisses or lots of sweet little kisses?
Long, slow
Sweet Little
Ugh! Kissing!
When deciding what is right and wrong you are:
more emotional
more logical
Religion/faith determines it.
I am not sure/other reasons.
★ Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex?
Yes, and I enjoyed myself.
Yes, and I did not enjoy myself.
No, and I would never.
No, but I would like to.
Do you believe contraception is morally wrong?
Yes
No
Would you mind if your significant other fantasizes about other people while having sex with you?
Yes.
No.
Maybe, it depends on who they are thinking about.
★ Do you like to be friends with someone before you start a romantic relationship with them?
Yes
No
It depends
Would you be willing to pay for good sex?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
For people who are in exclusive relationships, is fantasizing about others a form of infidelity?
Yes
No
If you were a lawyer, would you be willing to defend someone against charges for crime you were certain that they were guilty of?
Yes
No
If you and a partner lived alone together, how much time would you spend naked while in your home?
All of the time.
More than half of the time.
Less than half of the time.
Never.
★ Is your ideal match well-off financially or at the very least someone who has high income potential?
Yes, it’s very important.
Yes, it’s somewhat important.
No, it’s not very important.
No, it’s not important at all.
Should a limit be placed on how many children a family can have?
Yes
No
Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date?
Yes
No
Are you turned off when your lover farts, complains about bowel movements, or exhibits any other human characteristics as such?
Yes
No
Should children be raised to speak more than one language?
Yes.
No.
It depends on other factors.
★ How often do you keep your promises?
Always
Whenever possible
Usually
When convenient
★ Do you consider yourself to be good at clear verbal communication?
Yes
No
Sometimes
How many children would you ideally like to have?
None
1-2
3-4
5 or more!
Do you believe in an afterlife/life after death/resurrection?
Yes
No
I’m Not Sure
People should not have children unless they are financially secure. Do you agree?
Yes
No
★ If you caught your child smoking pot what would you do?
Try to talk and educate them
Send them for counseling
Whip their ass
Ignore it
Do you pick up after yourself? Be honest.
Always.
Yeah, when I have the time.
No, I live in filth.
No, someone else does it for me.
★ Which of the following persona, in other people, do you admire the most?
Child at Heart; responsible when needed.
Dedicated; driven to succeed one task at a time.
Spontaneous; living by their own will and order.
Devout; given themselves to higher orders.
Do you like to celebrate holidays?
Yes, I like to.
No, I don’t like to
Depends which holiday it is
I have no preference
Imagine that someone you are dating seems to be falling in love with you. You like this person, but you’re clearly not falling in love. Which of the following would be closest to what you would do?
I’d tell them how I feel and we’d go from there.
I’d do nothing and hope it all works itself out.
I’d break off relations.
I’d use their love for all it’s worth.
Do you think that people who go to jail for serious crimes deserve a second chance out in the real world?
Yes.
No.
It depends on the crime.
How do you feel about falling in love?
I love it and want it very much
I try to avoid it
I like to just let it happen
I’m indifferent / not sure
Have you ever had multiple romantic partners during the same time period?
Yes, and they both knew.
Yes, and I didn’t tell at least one of them.
No.
A homeless person asks you for some change. You:
Ignore them completely
Refuse politely
Threaten them or insult them
Give them some loose change.
Sexually explicit art or song lyrics should be
Embraced as an art form
Accepted as free expression
Censored to protect society
Do you have names planned out for future children?
Yes.
No.
No, and I’m not planning on any future children.
★ Would you want a lover who is always open and direct about everything, if it means that you would also receive any crude negative feedback they may have for you?
Yes
No
If your date told you they were in the pornography business, in a non-sexual way (e.g. camera operator, lighting, directing) would it bother you?
Yes, a lot!
Yes, a little.
No, non-sexual is fine.
No, I’d encourage them to join the cast!
Overall, what is a more valuable and worthy goal for society?
Liberty
Equality
What is next in this series? 1, 4, 10, 19, 31, _
36
48
46
Don’t know / don’t care
★ Do you spend money on a partner, buying gifts, paying for events and the like?
Yes, all the time, for just about any reason.
Sometimes, on special occasions.
Only when absolutely necessary.
No, not at all.
Do you like to cuddle?
Yes.
No.
Sometimes – It depends.
Do you like dogs? Would you consider owning a dog as a pet?
Yes, I would love (or do own) a dog.
I’m not too into them, but I wouldn’t mind one.
No, I dislike dogs.
I like them, but I’m allergic.
Who would you rather compete against?
Someone less skilled than yourself
Someone evenly matched
Someone more skilled
Would you be willing to participate in nudist activities to satisfy a partner’s wants?
Yes
No
Would it bother you if a date made gender-biased remarks?
Yes.
No.
Only if they were inaccurate.
Should frontal nudity be allowed on non-pay television?
Yes
No
Only during certain hours
When sharing a bathroom, how would you like the space to be allotted?
Almost completely to me.
Split perfectly evenly.
I don’t require much space.
Do you think children should be allowed to play with toy guns?
Yes
No
Do you think people who are in the armed forces deserve special treatment?
Yes
No
Imagine you are at a social event and your partner says something you disagree with strongly. Which of the following would you most likely do?
I’d support them even though I disagree.
I’d just keep quiet.
I’d politely disagree.
I’d argue my point aggressively.
Does it matter to you if your mate curses in front of children?
Yes. It makes a bad impression on children.
No. Kids hear the same things in school.
I’m Not Sure
Which would you prefer: casually dating someone whom you see a couple times a week, a serious relationship with someone you only see every few months (assume, if you want to, equally enjoyable sex)?
Casual dates, more frequent
Serious relationship, less frequent
Is the idea of spending the day at a nude beach appealing to you?
Yes
No
★ Should governments be allowed to censor the media in order to protect their citizens?
Yes
No
★ Do you bring up STD results/risk factors before you start fooling around?
Not usually
Only when I suspect there might be risk involved
Not always, but I always use protection
Always
How should people spell “women”?
Women
Womyn, or other feminist spelling revisions
I don’t care either way
Is it easy for you to achieve orgasm?
Yes, with skill and sometimes patience
Yes, any time the wind picks up
No, and I find it somewhat frustrating
No, but don’t worry, I’m enjoying myself
★ Which of the following is the most admirable endeavor?
Working to feed the homeless.
Working to preserve an endangered species.
Serving one’s country in the military.
Devoting oneself to religious/spiritual pursuits.
Do you wear a seatbelt when you ride in an automobile?
Always.
Most of the time.
Usually not.
Never.
Consciousness is…
Biological – Brain, senses.
Spiritual – Soul, heart, spirit.
A good topic for debate; my answer is too long.
A big, scary word.
Your significant other wants to go to a strip club with a few friends. What are your thoughts on this?
I’m completely against it.
I don’t like it, but doesn’t bother me that much.
No, I’m not against it at all / I’d go with them.
I would be upset, but I’d let them go.
Do you use “Jesus Christ” or “God damn it” when you curse?
Yes
Yes, but I regret it.
No.
I do not curse at all.
★ When I come across something I don’t understand…
I ask someone who might know about it.
I look it up myself.
I usually ignore it.
I make fun of it.
★ Would you consider dating someone who has vocalized a strong negative bias toward a certain race of people?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy dark, violent, or disturbing music?
Yes
No
When I’m in the mood.
Unsure
When facing a complicated situation, can you easily put yourself in another person’s shoes and consequently see things from his or her point of view?
Yes
No
Sometimes
When judging people, are you harsher on them than you would be on yourself?
Yes.
No, I use the same standards as for myself.
No, I am harsher on myself.
I do not judge other people.
How would you describe your emotional diversity?
I get extremely happy but rarely depressed
I get extremely depressed and I’m rarely happy
I don’t feel much of either
I feel both often
Do you often have a hard time thinking of things to talk about?
Yes
No
Could you continue dating someone if their family members constantly acted rudely toward you?
Yes
No
Do you think parents who smoke in cars with very young children should be punished?
Yes
No
Have you attended a drag queen/king show?
Yes, as a participant.
Yes, in the audience.
No, but I’d like to.
No, and I don’t plan to.
If all the commercial food sources in the world closed down, how would you provide for yourself and or family?
I’d hunt and / or fish.
I’d have a garden.
I’d do both of the above.
I’d do neither. I’d prefer to starve.
Would you prefer to be taken care of in a relationship or do the caring for?
I prefer to be the one taking care of my partner.
I prefer that my partner take care of me.
I prefer that we take care of each other.
I prefer that we care for ourselves.
If you found out the person you’re dating cannot achieve orgasm without being slapped hard across the face, would you be willing to satisfy them in this way?
Yes
No
Do you enjoy finding out what makes things work the way they do?
I’m an information sponge
Sometimes
As long as it works, who cares why?
★ Would you ever consider adopting a child or being artificially inseminated on your own if you gave up on finding a life partner?
Yes, and I’d keep dating
Yes, and I’d dedicate myself to the child
No, I wouldn’t do it
★ Do you like going to poetry readings?
Yes
Sometimes
Occasionally / I’d try it
No
★ You see a police officer. How do you feel?
Safe
Nervous
Typically, what kind of fan are you at sporting events?
I sit quietly and enjoy the game.
I cheer loudly to rally my team and fans.
I yell obsenities at the other team and fans.
I’m not a sports fan.
Imagine that you live in a place where public nudity is not only legal, but also socially acceptable. Assuming that the climate is favorable, how often would you be totally naked in public?
All of the time.
Frequently.
Occasionally.
Never.
Tongue rings – Hot or Not?
Hot.
Not.
When on vacation, do you generally:
Stay in a hostel or budget hotel
Stay in a luxury hotel
Use a tent and sleeping bag
Not travel during vacations
Imagine your date starts groping you in the car while you’re driving. Which would you be most likely to do?
Pull over immediately and return the favor.
Find the nearest hotel room.
Roll with the flow and keep driving.
Tell them to stop.
Would you consider dating somebody who publishes the most intimate details of their relationships in their blog?
Yes
No
Which of these four is sexiest?
Someone who is good with language(s).
Someone who is logical or mathematical.
Someone who is physically skilled.
Someone who is musically skilled.
What would you do if you had an unwanted child on the way?
Abort it
Give it up for Adoption
Keep it regardless
★ Do you put more weight in science or faith?
Science
Faith
Equally in both
If you were in a serious relationship, would you mind if your significant other maintained an active profile on OkCupid?
Yes – I would mind this.
No – This would not bother me.
Would you be willing to lie on a job resume or application if you thought it would get you the job and you were sure you wouldn’t get caught?
Yes
No
Do you have enough savings and investments to comfortably survive several months of unemployment?
Yes
Usually yes, but not right now
No
Should healthcare be funded by the government?
Yes, for everyone.
Yes, but only for certain people.
No.
I’m not sure.
How long do you need to chat with someone before feeling comfortable meeting in person?
I’d meet right away if their profile were cool
A few days
A few weeks
A few months
Which body type do you prefer?
Slim
Average
Fuller figured
I don’t care
Do you ever not feel like having sex because you feel too unattractive or too unappealing?
Yes, frequently.
Yes, sometimes.
Yes, but only rarely.
No, never.
★ How important is it to you that a potential partner continues to educate himself/herself as an adult?
Very important.
Somewhat important.
Not at all important.
Actually, this would be a turn-off.
Assume that you and your partner have different religious beliefs. If you have a child together, which religion would you force the child follow?
My religion
My partner’s religion
Both religions, no matter how contradictory
We would educate our child to make its own choice
Is separation of church and state important to you?
Yes
No
Do you think you could still be genuinely happy if you weren’t in a relationship with anyone?
Yes
No
You can tell a lot about a person from their appearance.
Agree
Disagree
Do you believe in fate?
Yes
No
Do you need alone time to re-charge after social situations?
Yes
No
★ How often do you wash your dishes?
As I use them.
Daily.
When I run out of clean utensils.
When the sink starts to smell funny.
Do you expect your partner to back you up in a dispute if you’re in the wrong?
Yes
No
If you had to choose one of the following, which best describes the role of sex in your life?
Sex is one of my favorite activities.
Sex is something I enjoy on occasion.
Sex is for procreation.
Sex is a means to getting things that I want.
What haircolor, or shade, do you prefer?
Dark (Black, Brown, Auburn)
Light (Blonde, Light Brown, Red)
Other (Neon, Obviously Dyed)
I have no preference
Do you leave the lights on after leaving a room when they are no longer necessary?
Always – I don’t think about turning lights off.
Usually – This isn’t very important.
Sometimes – I try to save energy but do forget.
Rarely or never – That would be wasteful.
★ Is art important to you?
Yes
No
If you were performing oral sex on a partner who accidentally farted, how do you think you would react?
This is a self-portrait of myself on Adobe Illustrator with hundreds of interconnected anchor points; it was drawn with a lack of understanding for the concept of vectors. The enneagram is like a disorganized (yet linear) series of anchor points on Adobe Illustrator. I have gotten a certificate in the enneagram, which is a type of assessment system that categorizes personalities into nine boxes and two sub-boxes within the nine boxes and three sub-sub-boxes within the two sub-boxes with a hope that all boxes, all personalities, are self-contained. I try to figure out boxes, too.
This is a blurry and slow shutter speed surrealism of boxes within boxes and next to boxes. The lit box is the desktop screen of a field on my Samsung flip phone from 2004.
Instinctual Stacking
I am mostly interested in the instinctual stacking, the sub-sub-boxes within the sub-boxes. I am an Enneagram 5w4 sx/so with sexual primary tendencies (meaning, I am intense) and social secondary tendencies (meaning, I am socially aware but not fixated) and self-preservation last (meaning, I don’t know how to be ‘comfortable’.) Five stands for the thinker. It’s the type that is in their head all of the time. The quintessential Enneagram 5 is Albert Einstein. I am a 4 wing though, like the dreamer, so am less scientific (not scientific at all, actually) and more artistic. I am an IXTP in the Myers-Briggs, which is common for the 5 Enneagram but being an INTP is more common.
Sx Primary & So Secondary
My sexual primary with the social secondary instinct makes me seem more extroverted, although my ‘fire eyes’ are a mask and I may be attracted to the concept of ‘person’ – ideas, rather than the person. I get instantly attracted to people or am instantly unattracted. While ideas also really stimulate me, I have the 4 wing which comes into play with how I’m trying to ‘capture’ an idea, whether conceptually or literally with a camera. Outwardly, I am ‘intensely casual’. But I am hyperaware while being in a seemingly easy-going state. When someone is mad at me, I’m accused of being a ‘flaneur’.
My 5w4 makes me very close to the bohemian 4w5. I am a lot more grounded and can finish projects when out of tune with my F side. It seems to be that there are a lot of 4s that only finish projects when it ‘feels’. And, as evidenced by one of my closest friends who is a 4w3, there is always a disconnect at some point of finishing a project. It gets tedious to the extent where the euphoric 4 stage, where you’re feeling as you’re watching your creation grow. The problem with this is that I sometimes cannot reach the emotional depth that a true 4 can, so the artwork seems too intellectual. It’s definitely a problem because the things I create lack in the expression of a 4s process towards a project they complete.
Can your personality change as time passes?
In my experience, NO. (Not really.) I’ve been an Enneagram 5w4 since I first had taken the test in 2004. That description is rock solid for me. I’ve also stayed as an IXTP since I first had taken the test in 2004. I was more of an ISTP artist/builder in 2004 but now am more of an INTP conceptual thinker and wannabe artist.
In other words, I more or less didn’t change from my early 20s to late 30s. I’ve written plenty about my enneagram in the past but am going to write based on memory on my actions to what makes me a bona-fide enneagram 5w4. I haven’t experienced a personality that has changed since I first discovered the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs.
Why I Am Turned off by Casual Friendships (So/Sx)
The difference between being social primary and secondary with sexual is my social awareness and their social fixation. I avoid being cast in a wide net, and the social sexual’s lack of desire of being the particular friend makes us incompatible. My lack of social interaction is exacerbated by being a 5, which is especially introverted, with the 4 wing. I have no current friends who are the instinctual stacking of social first. I read somewhere that so/sx and sx/so instinct don’t get along at all. Our intensities are like a difference of being broadly and directly pointed lasers.
My only social sexual friend was Nils Bue. We were friends off and on for almost two decades. He messaged me on what was once an online journal called Melodramatic in 2003. We spent time together in Orange County, California throughout the 2000s. And ten years later in 2014, I got him a job at The Echo. Nobody knew who he was, my manager called him Nails. Then he befriended a group of people who were able to give him free alcohol. He began coming into The Echo for every shift I had, talking to different people but me. In retrospect it was a mixed blessing in a way because he would pull out a cigarette and smoke all over whoever he was talking with. What upset me was how I brought this guy in who felt friendlier and more connected to all of these other people. I told him his behavior was disgusting. We didn’t talk for two years.
In retrospect, I realized I didn’t give him what he wanted, some type of broadly focused friendship, which is not what I wanted. I felt bad for how I acted. So two years later, I apologized and we made up. Although he’s straight-leaning in the sexuality spectrum, he’s a 4w5 so/sx INFP, he’s a homoromantic-leaning heterosexual, and wrote him a prose poem about my gripe over Social/Sexual:
Anytime I see you, you’re always looking at someone. I feel like this is inviting me to be a target against the rolling ball of a pinball machine. A ball that eventually falls into a pit. Futile, but something that is always going to be worth falling after.
For the two years we stopped talking, we made up for two months. I bought him a cider at The Semi-Tropic. I wanted to hang out with him before I left to Europe. It was too much pressure on him. He preferred to hang out with this guy who gave him free drinks. He said he doesn’t have to explain why he doesn’t want to hang out with me, and -he- wasn’t the one moving to Europe. Basically, he blew me off. I called him an “elegant dirtbag” and we stopped talking.
My Self-Preservation Parents: Us Versus the World & You
I have more self-preservation first friends than any other type. I’m unsure if it’s because my parents were self-preservation primary or because self-preservation is my weakest instinct. I grew up with conservative meat and potatoes parents – very simple people. Both of them are SJ guardians on the Myers Briggs. My dad is an ESTJ 8w9 sp/so and my mom is an ESFJ 2w1 sp/sx. But my self-preservation friends are way cooler.
They were always present, but lacked presence too. The combination of them being SJ guardians on the Myers-Briggs and self-preservation primary makes them two very static unchanging people, like a cow and bull, stubbornly grazing in a peaceful field. Growing up, we were isolated inside of a large three story colonial house in northern New Jersey in the middle of nowhere – with the woods and lakes and colorful leaves. I describe my relationship to that house like living in the hotel from ‘The Shining’. Nobody ever came over.
There was a lack of conversation, except when it came to both of them bullying me because I stood up to my mom, who would then have my dad defend her. My parents’ bullying of me oddly brought them together as a couple because their relationship was otherwise uncommunicative. My mom (ESFJ 2w1 sp/sx) was a very melancholy and lonely extrovert, who never made friends, and was fixated over my sister and me, but oddly not my dad (ESTJ 8w9 sp/so). And her fear of the outside world was reflected by her antagonism of social connections.
Her overbearing personality as an unhealthy Enneagram 2 made me really withdraw growing up. I wonder whether I became a 5w4 because of her because those two personalities (extroverted feeling and introverted thinking) are on the opposite spectrum. More or less, we had a very antagonistic relationship. Since she never went out and had no friends, she told me what I should be doing with my life based on what she watched on television.
Ever since her childhood, she has had a victim complex, has taken the role of being the victim of people treating her poorly. I decided to stop talking to her because she would bring an enabler, who was always my dad, into the situation for reinforcement of her attitude as punishment over her feeling victimized. They met when she was 17 and he was 26. She was Melania Trump to Donald Trump, or Columba Bush to Jeb Bush. So he was daddy to her, too.
When he retired, they both decided to move to a large one-story McMansion in the desert to die. Their house was part of a long row of grotesquely long houses on Frogs Leap Street in Temecula. Almost all of them foreclosures after the great recession of 2008. They chose the house with the least amount of graffiti and least amount of damage and wires stolen. Apparently many of the former homeowners salvaged what they could from their houses before being evicted.
They didn’t get that self-preservationist’s wet dream of ‘getting away from it all’ that they were so desperate for. The rednecks in the gas station town of Temecula would stop their cars and gawk at their grotesquely long house on Frogs Leap Street. They moved to an old persons’ gated community on top of a hill in San Juan Capistrano, a reason why the swallows don’t fly to Mission San Juan Capistrano anymore, into a grotesquely large one story cottage for 1.5 million dollars.
This phallic reference on the left is not from the “flirting” bonus add-on that you buy with lingots on Duolingo. But it could have been. The “flirting” app did have “I want to try something sweet, can I taste your lips? / ¿Quiero probar algo dulce, podría saborear tus labios?” and it was worth the lingots or gems or whatever.
I have to thank my ex-coworker at The Echo, Vickki Acuna, who criticized my tattoos as being “mismatched”, but recommended me this cool language learning app called Duolingo. Duolingo teaches you a very basic list of words that are commonly used in the language of your choice. For every language, you begin at the first levels with very simple words and, in the case of Spanish, learn how to use subjunctive past. I played Duolingo every day for a year until I mastered all of the levels of Spanish back in 2017. Eventually, Duolingo introduced group speaking events. There was a friendly guy named Danny Sims who likes the Spanish language as second language but doesn’t do Duolingo himself that began hosting group events in Los Angeles. After trying to order drinks on the Duolingo tab, which was actually his tab, I learned he was just a language geek and does this stuff for free. I eventually learned Duolingo runs mostly everything on a volunteer basis.
My spouse and I (second to top left) attended the first ever Duolingo event at Casey’s Irish Pub in August 2017. At these events, you get to practice speaking the language, rather than listening to and filling in blanks of sentences delivered by cartoon people. It was a lot of fun, and I have gone to quite a few more “intercambios” since 2017. Most of the time, the people who come to the Duolingo events are at a very beginning conversational level like I was in 2017 before I moved to Spain. Now I am usually the more advanced speaker, not because of Duolingo events, but because I have taken Spanish 4, 5, a conversation course and an immersion course since then. And I am conversationally still like gelatin next to a native Spanish speaker.
After using Duolingo for a few years, it will prepare you well for Spanish 1 through 4 at an American college. Duolingo will not prepare you for using the language in casual conversations with native speakers, classes conducted in other languages, writing assignments, bureaucratic things like getting citizenship in another country, cursing at people, hooking up or understanding cinema and tv shows. This, you have to rely on actually practicing. When confronted with not understanding someone, I usually rely on the person’s body language conveying more than what I grasped at what they’ve said.
It is easy not to practice speaking or listening on the app since you can always disable it. I usually disabled speaking and listening on Duolingo because I practiced almost exclusively not at home. Over the years, I have practiced at a job, waiting in line, on the metro or otherwise waiting for something or someone. After you learn the basic verbs and context, it becomes very predictable and an almost lazy activity. So I stepped it up.
Learning Two Languages at Once on Duolingo
When I taught English at a private cooperative bilingual school in Madrid, I was inspired by a teacher named Juanan who taught his kids Chinese through English. He would show funny videos from a YouTube channel called ChineseBuddy. The songs would be sung in Chinese and have English subtitles. It was impressive how Spanish kids learned how to speak Chinese through a trilingual approach from English.
I felt inspired to learn another language as practicing on Duolingo became too easy, so I began learning Italian from Spanish for Spanish speakers on the app. Both languages use the same bank of words, which helped me remember common words in English that I wasn’t too familiar with.
Both Spanish and Italian are romance languages with sentence structures that are mostly the same. The difference is mostly in the treatment of articles and plural words. But! There are certain common words that you realize you didn’t know one language, that are really common in English and another language.
To become, for example, is the simple diventare in Italian but there is no simple way to easily become something in Spanish. Convertirse en, ugh…
You have one word in English:
I become a man.
You have one word in Italian (hai una parola in italiano):
Io divento un uomo.
But, you have three words in Spanish (tienes tres palabras en español):
Yo meconviertoen un hombre.
You have to do the reflexive romantic word, plus add to.
The direct translation to English is like saying I getconvertedto a man.
So, doing the trilingual approach makes me learn words that I didn’t realize I didn’t know and then it helps strengthen everything else.
The New Duolingo: Error-Shaming You to Use Premium!
The green Duolingo owl has become quite the Starbucks siren. Ever since a Duolingo update in December 2019, Duolingo has radically changed the way in which the game is played. You are very limited to taking on new levels now. You don’t have unlimited play anymore. You have ‘hearts’ to lose and ‘gems’ to earn. You will not be able to test out of levels without paying in ‘gems’. You will be restricted game play to levels that you already completed if you lose all of your ‘hearts’.
So, in the meantime, some people are switching over to the Duolingo website now since it doesn’t have ‘hearts’ and ‘gems’ to lose. The duolingo.com/learn website still lives in the past with ‘lingots’. Considering that the app is volunteer-run and people are actively improving the app without being compensated, where is all the money for buying premium membership going?
These Duolingo feedback emails used to list the volunteers like “SaraGalesa” and “sanio” who helped add and correct errors to the translation bank. Eventually sometime after 2017, Duolingo made these countless number of volunteers anonymous to the public.
Money is being made from Duolingo incentivizing people into buying premium memberships by error-shaming and restricting them from learning. Some of these tireless unpaid volunteers like “SaraGalesa” and “sanio” who help approved a few of my many translation suggestions on Spanish Duolingo over the years should be getting paid and not in lingots (or gems).
So if anyone should be getting that Premium Membership money being raked in, please give it to the many volunteers who have vastly improved the translations on Duolingo and then the global ambassadors like Danny Sims from Los Angeles who have been bringing us together.
You can edit your sad hipster ex-boyfriend’s appearance with Free God Mode on Bitlife.
I used Bitlife for 10,000 years in bitizen years and one year in human years and after playing many generations worth of people, I discovered many different things about the game. I began using Bitlife last year, because I was looking for something like Real Lives which was a PC-only RPG in the 2000s.
Real Lives was more educational than entertainment. You don’t have the power to control your destiny and wealth really, especially if you’re born from a poor family in Africa. If your parents die, you will die too in childhood. Sometimes the corrupt government would implode and you lose all of your wealth. And being homeless takes a toll on your mental and physical well-being. (Not on bitlife.) I remember playing a woman with a middle class job, an office worker, in India and when she retired, she couldn’t afford her house anymore and became homeless and died soon after.
You used to get a promotion from Porn Star to Porn Director on Bitlife but no promotion from Lead Actor to Director. But if you are a Lead Actor, you will eventually make $4,000,000 a year, guaranteed. If you are very beautiful and smart – but not too smart – you will be popular enough to join the Student Council as a freshman in high school and college. If you choose a sexuality that does not align with your sexual preferences, your character becomes slightly – like 8% – less happy because of that choice. Oh and if you want to be a transexual and get a male to female sex change operation, the Bitlife world found the technology to recreate a uterus and ovaries as you can get pregnant as an MTF.
Bitlife has real life events like wars that happen between two different countries. They seemed to import this from Real Lives. But these global events are inconsequential and almost silly events on that ticker tape that I hardly ever read. Both Real Lives and Bitlife are very addictive games. But the developers made Bitlife a bit stupid and added too many jokes and unrealistic scenarios. But with the lack of realism, they should push it even farther. Add “immortality” to the characters.
Even the leprechaun eventually died.
Death
Deaths are usually more ridiculous than tragic on Bitlife. You can die from being in the tanning bed too many times. You can die from the witch doctor’s medicine. You can die by suicide a la “surrendering” which is actually suicide and used to be called suicide. You can die by getting too old. This 129 year old dead woman was a strange fluke because parents of your character usually die around 80 years old. If you are married, the spouse lives to 110. When I became my kid from Bitlife’s legacy option, my spouse Isabelle King didn’t die until 129. (See photo.)
Getting old gets boring, partly because it’s easy to stay healthy and stay 100% attractive, even when you’re 120 years old by getting botox or liposuction. If you work out every year, you probably will live until you are 120. You can die by drugs. You can die by being a hero by attempting to rescue someone from a robbery or a fire. Once I died trying to rescue someone who was choking, I got AIDS from trying to resuscitate someone and I died immediately. (See screenshot.) It was really offensive and written like 1980s misinformation.
You contracted AIDS and died after performing CPR on a person with AIDS.
Bitlife Threesomes
You usually can have threesomes with nearly anyone after being married for 20 or 30 years, but you don’t have to wait so long if you are married to a partner who ranks high in “craziness”. “Craziness” is an amount given to your character. It is similar to “petulance” on a sibling and “strictness” on a teacher.
If you have threesomes each year with the gender of the person that your partner is attracted to, the likelihood of them leaving you for your threesome partner becomes likely after five tries. However, if you have threesomes with the person whose gender they’re not attracted to, they will not leave you but their “satisfaction” with the threesome will be low, which will also affect the relationship. It’s because of them having sex with someone else that you initiated that it somehow becomes your fault if they don’t enjoy it. You also cannot have threesomes with the same person, it’s always someone new.
I personally like highly crazy people on Bitlife because if they leave you, you can always hook up with them until you two can get back together in a relationship, more or less. And they don’t care if you hook up with other people, unlike the uncrazy people who will absolutely freak out and result in a drop in the relationship by 50% or more.
Threesomes also result in pregnancies if it’s a MFM, MMF, FMF or FFM and only by the threesome fling to you or your female partner. In other words, you will never make your partner pregnant (or your partner will never make you pregnant) in a threesome, the threesome partner can only impregnate or be impregnated.
Threesomes also make your partner crazier and crazier, by adding crazy to their craziness until it is 100% red.
Animals
Owning pets kind of sucks on Bitlife. But it’s great for kids. There’s no way to increase health levels under the age of 12 except by the kid having a pet that he or she can walk. So always keep asking parents for pets each year, even if they’re dicks and refuse to give you one. Of course “spending time” with a pet gives you the same level of happiness like a family member, partner, classmate, coworker or friend would.
Pets are like cars on Bitlife. They die really fast.
Prison Escape
Depending on the severity of the crime, and the level of security of the prison you’re in, it gets more and more difficult to escape from prison. Most (if not all) of the escape scenarios are possible to escape from. You can only attempt an escape once a year. For every one move you make, the guard makes two moves. The guard can be stopped by being blocked by the walls. So you have to maneuver him to get stuck.
It’s impossible to make friends in prison unless you join a gang. I recommend joining a gang that other the inmates are actually in. It makes no sense to be in the hardest, toughest gang if you’re the only member in it.
It’s Easy to Be Rich on Bitlife
You get a job and unlike getting a job, you really don’t suffer or feel the consequences of it. So on top of your 40 hour a week job that allows you to take an infinite amount of vacations and go on endless social outings (but you need your work’s permission to go to rehab), you also get a first world salary wherever you live. Unlike Real Lives from the 2000s, you can afford anything that you could in first world country. You inherit all of your money in some countries (like Israel or Columbia). If you give money to your children after you die, in a couple of generations, you will become a billionaire.
Being a billionaire doesn’t really do much and besides owning a couple of mansions, castles, chateaus or a Bugatti Chiron, the quality of life doesn’t change. But everyone wants to marry you.
Gay or straight, you need to adopt a kid to keep the lineage going. There’s a faulty thing about this averaging on Bitlife between the looks and smarts of the parents that sounds pro eugenics. It goes without saying that a kid’s physical features will be averaged depending on the parents’ race. But the kid’s health is kind of random. Having a smart and attractive kid with poor health sucks. And having no kids but only nieces and nephews sucks too. In conclusion, Bitlife, please disable nieces and nephews.
LIKED is a chronological selection of 400 Twitter or twaiku poems by Chris(toph) Girard and published by DEATH-SPIRAL. The poems were written and posted on my Twitter handle @Christop between 2011 and 2017. Twenty poems are featured on each set of 20 pamphlets in a hand-numbered facsimile edition of 20. Some of the ‘twaiku’ forms from LIKED include haiku, senryu (the dark haiku), tanka (5 line with rules), gogyohka (5 line freeform), sextet (6 line) and quatrain (4 line) poems. Each type of poem is labeled in its hashtag form. Some are not.
The 20 poems in 20 pamphlets (20 x 20 = 400 poems total) in a limited edition of 20 offers almost the entire oeuvre of poetry that I have written this decade. There is very little poetry that I have otherwise written, let alone published in the 2010s.
Oeuvre — maybe I am some patrician garbage poet like Robert Lowell. Unlike all the real modern American poetry that has been published in extremely ephemeral and endangered forms, all of mine is exclusively or overly attainable. I don’t even have most of it on my computer. But like all those John Wieners pamphlets that were probably not issued in runs of even twenty, whoever the followers of @Christop on Twitter that did ‘like’ them number in less than four or five. Mostly ones, according to Mark So.
Mark So, publisher of DEATH-SPIRAL, compiled 400 of the 1001 tweets published in those eight years, thinks my Twitter poems are beautiful. He thought this way of making them available is beautiful in an oddly suitable way:
I live in a small world, and very fortunate that you have been in it, in part because it made me encounter these poems in a manner I never would have otherwise. I wanted to celebrate their small miracle in the way that I know how. Would you be any less upset if I’d lovingly made just one printout and given it to you? Because I felt that was the nature of the gift, to spend time with them and draw them out of the internet and onto paper, in the world.
Mark So, 2018
The entire set of 20 pamphlets are available here and from DEATH-SPIRAL.
Shipping is included with the price! US shipping only. For international shipping, please correspond with www.death-spiral.net. You can request any one booklet for $2 plus shipping by messaging the editor and publisher via email at mark_so [at] hotmail [dot] com through http://death-spiral.net or through Twitter @_mark_so_.
All proceeds go to the general upkeep and the printing of the next DEATH-SPIRAL!
Tectonic Trees was a winner of Artbox Projects’ VOTE4ART mobile app. Artbox Projects, a booth hosted by Art Spectrum and Red Dot Miami during Art Basel displayed Tectonic Trees twice an hour on their television screen. Art Basel is a massive event for artists that happens in Miami during the first week of December. And it holds many events like Art Spectrum and Red Dot that are spread out through Miami and Miami Beach. While I am very happy to have participated in this event and submit my artwork to the mobile app, watch out for Artbox Projects!
Artbox Projects accept thousands of artists’ submissions for their booth! And displays thousands of these artwork submissions on a single television screen. Hence, they made a LOT of money. Displaying artwork as a slideshow on one tv means that it takes about 30 minutes for the artwork to appear again.
Waiting!
The above photo by Scott Redinger-Libolt / RedPhoto shows an artist who came all the way from Italy and I getting to know each other very well as we were both waiting on the couch for our artworks to appear. I thought maybe there was some type of random algorithm function but it seems to just be ordered by the last name of each of the artist, kind of… I was waiting for Girard to appear, but somehow the order of the artworks began with those with the last letter H. Her last name began with T, so she was done in 15 minutes.
The VOTE4ART App
The VOTE4ART app, which doesn’t exist now, was displayed at the very front of the Artbox Projects booth during the Art Spectrum and Red Dot event. The app offers a similar feature to the actual installation. It’s a slideshow of photos and users can vote for their favorites. So I downloaded the app and submitted my artwork. I was determined to make up the money I spent on submitting my application and the flight, and win.
Tectonic Trees won. How so? Well I hope that it’s because it’s a pretty killer photograph. But not really. I promoted VOTE4ART on my Twitter handle @Christopearly and told my coworkers to download the app early. But I also hacked the app because nobody is going to continuously vote. The app was a pretty cool and simple idea, but you can make an unlimited amount of user accounts from fake email addresses. You get three votes once a day on each account. And people vote. The slideshow interface of the app works makes it very difficult to see everything. It takes a longer and longer time to go through everything as more and more people submit. I suggest that anyone else who wants to win $500 to do this early. That $500 I got went to recuperating that fraudulent art ‘experience’ of having this photograph displayed two times an hour from Artbox.Projects. Here is the winner announcement and the thousands of likes on VOTE4ART’s Facebook page.
Tectonic Trees can be purchased as a high resolution downloadable photo here.
Ten and One Left is a 64-page series of 11 line poems taken and collaged from my old LiveJournals from 2001 to 2004. This book constitutes two years of my MFA studies at Otis College of Art and Design and is the practice component of my MFA thesis from 2008.
Ten and One Left, the series of eleven-line poems, is collaged from my old LiveJournals. These LiveJournal usernames are quietness and qu, and were used from 2001 to 2004. Like the nonsensical or cryptic tags that are often embedded into blog posts, I reposted the poems onto social reviewing websites including Yelp. As a result, the poem lived on Yelp for eight and a half years until it was deleted by Yelp admins in 2016.
Symbol of Eleven
As part of my MFA thesis at Otis College of Art and Design, a baby Ars Poetica of mine details my philosophy about the eleven line poems. I explored the meaning of eleven. While eleven is imperfect in its quantity, 11 (two ones) is perfect at face value.
Eleven is a symbol for the imperfect and yet is a very symmetrical number that has a symbolic relationship with the exterior like an outsider (like Eleven from Stranger Things) and the spectacle of a crowd. The number eleven is derived from the old English word Endleofan. It literally means ten and one left or the base of one plus a second element.
While the poems are subservient to a number of lines, they explore obstruction. The obstructiveness repurposes the former poems by the illustration and change of a public text’s exposure. The texts which inspire the set of poems are read by a plural audience to experience a feeling of homogenized familiarity. The feeling of disconnection resounds in the subsequent poem. And it evokes a thought or emotion set in false pretenses. The struggle is to make ephemeral texts durable by collaging a lyrical cadence of paradoxes.
This is a self-portrait of myself on Adobe Illustrator with hundreds of interconnected anchor points; it was drawn with a lack of understanding for the concept of vectors. The enneagram is like a disorganized (yet linear) series of anchor points on Adobe Illustrator. I have gotten a certificate in the enneagram, which is a type of assessment system that categorizes personalities into nine boxes and two sub-boxes within the nine boxes and three sub-sub-boxes within the two sub-boxes with a hope that all boxes, all personalities, are self-contained. I try to figure out boxes, too.
